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Pour an ice cold IRON


RavingMainyYak

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I've been to Germany three times in my life, each time finding something different. Suffice to say I have a keen taste for German pilsners. Since those vacations, I've noticed many micros sprouting in the US with similar characteristics. Some are good, some are horrible. I try to keep things simple in my life and it reflects my taste in beers.

There are three non-German beers that I've grown to love. Depending on the season they can be quite damn refreshing.

1) Wicked's Rally Cap Ale. This beer has become impossible to find in my region. I have no idea why because in my opinion is quite possibly the greatest summer beer ever made. I enjoy citrus flavors and this beer contains a hint of lemon. I tried it a few years ago and it resembled a typical lighter beer. They call it an Ale but it is to the point that it could be a lager. It's one of those things where I see people drinking wheat beers with orange slices on the rim. Well fark that. If you enjoy citrus flavors, this beer is actually the most refreshing summer beer I have ever had. I just wished I could get my hands on a bottle but there are no distributors that carry it apparently.

2) Shiner Bock. This beer is dark in color, yet is so freaking easy to drink. It reminds me of Newcastle, as if the brewers somehow pulled the recipe. Easy to drink and great medium-body taste. England style for sure. This one is a no brainer and I'm not even from Texas. The drinker can handle a 12-pack of this with relative ease.

3) Sopporo. I haven't researched this brew but it sure as hell tastes like a German pils. It's almost as if some recipe from back in WW2 was translated to the Japanese. They made a nice beer contained in a what-seems-to-be and indestructible can. The beer has a slight bite but would in no way inhibit someone from drinking multiple pints.

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As you can clearly tell by my sig, i would give any review involving bacon a 10

Perhaps you can use some of these to cover any wounds you may have leftover from your trip to the hospital

bacon_strips_bandages.jpg

Oh thank you. Those will help a lot!

Thank you Peron.

I'm not entirely clear, did you cannibalize Sir. Francis Bacon, or have a torrid long term relationship with him, or just a one time "I'm just experimenting" kind of thing?

He said he'd call me back... that was about 400 years ago. I don't want to look too desperate... think I should call him back?

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Blue Moon and Boddington's are pretty great, but Carlsberg Elephant? When I was in Germany I enjoyed a good Carlberg when I was out, but I had the misfortune of encountering Elephant twice and both times found it totally repulsive.

But hooray for Blue Moon.

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Sir Francis Bacon was an English philosopher in the early 1600's. He married Anne Cooke. Bacon served as both the Attorney General and the Lord Chancellor of England. He also played a big part in the scientific revolution.[/size]

Yes, but you never said how he tasted???

I lol'd at your review, so I, for one, have no problem accepting in in lieu of an actual bacon review. If you're going to not do a report, this is the way to go about it! :D

Also, fear the bacon-o-lantern!

bacon-man.jpg

:awesome:

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And we have another tardy offering from IRON.... Shan Revan explains the delay,

I'm very sorry for the extra delay, I killed my computer at a rather inopportune time.

And now, on to the tasty research results:

Greetings fair citizens of Planet Bob. I come to you today with a veritable feast for the senses! As per the agreement as gentlemen, I have taken it upon myself, the arduous and death defying task of reviewing at least five Beers. As a resident of the Great Southern Continent, my review will undoubtedly be unique from that of my northern compatriots.

Unfortunately, I must confess, due to the current disappointing financial situations of my wallet, I have thus far been unable to procure any alcoholic substances worthy of review, and being adverse to the nature of bacon, I have had to come up with a worthy solution without causing any further delay. As there are no provisions present on what basis these beverages must be judged upon, I shall review beer based mostly upon advertisements where taste is lacking.

XXXX:

This is THE beer of Queensland. Possibly the only place in the world where you will find pubs everywhere with neon Xs all over it, and be very disappointed if you came specifically for some boobs. The drink itself is okay, seems to go well with a barbie, but is not really my taste. I wouldn't recommend this drink based on my personal experiences with it, or based on its advertising which consist of surprisingly lame skits based around a bunch of blokes building a boat. It's acceptable, even adequate, but for about the same price there's better. If you're in QLD though it's readily available!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZRGxZ59AEE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2fDIyTih0E

Fosters.

Fosters, Australian for beer right? Well maybe in the 70's. Since then its popularity has declined somewhat to the point that it seems nearly non-existent down here. I haven't personally seen an advertisement for this beverage outside of youtube, ever. That being said, apart from playing up the Australian stereotype and accent a little annoyingly at times, the ads seem alright.

Based purely on this ad I would recommend it. Based on everything I've been told about it, I would avoid it like the plague as I'm told it's piss, and certainly not the best we make. Take that for what you will.

Actually this whole serious of them seems pretty good.

Victoria Bitter.

Not a true bitter in the technical sense, a lager really, but that's a distinction that isn't commonly made here anyway. The beer is cheap... real cheap, people will tell you it's either liquid gold or the other, warm kind of liquid gold. It's got the biggest market share in Australia, which means at least it must have something going for it. Their ads tend to involve clever use of prose to create some memorable lines accompanied by a catchy jingle and they also have a few amusing/clever ads.

Tooheys

I've actually tried a few of the different tooheys beers, they're pretty average for the most part, nothing special. Tooheys New is a fairly typical mainstream australian beer, that generally goes well enough with anything. Their Extra Dry brew is popular with younger people and I personally enjoy it well enough. Overall their best is the Toohey's Old, which is a dark ale and is actually pretty good in my opinion.

Overall their advertisements go from

, Strange,
and
but hey it works apparantly.

Carlton Draught

This Victorian pale lager is one of Australia's best selling tap beers. I haven't actually had a chance to imbibe this particular draught however it's on my list to do so. It's advertisements have made it famous worldwide. Many of you may be famous with their masterpiece in persuasion that is

that was made famous when it was released on the internet. It even has it's own wiki page. However Carlton

is far from a one trick pony, with other hits such as Flashbeer,

,
and
and many more, this is a beer that I whole heartedly recommend soley based upon advertising (I expect the drink itself to be fairly generic and boring but we'll see).

Honourable Mentions:

Bundaburg "Bundy" Rum.

Not a beer but they do tend to have pretty good ads.

red sock

They have lots more, many better ones but I can't find half of them unfortunately because they're a bit older.

Also including this link because I like the ad.

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He may be tardy, but MCRABT joins his IRON gov brethren in fulfilling Article 10 of the peace treaty. And he reviews one of my favorite European brews, Grolsch.

Read on, good citizens of Bob . . .

Beer Review:

Old Speckled Hen:

pipehen2.jpg

He wasn’t joking either this is a timeless classic which was first brewed to celebrate the 50 th anniversary of the MG car factory. Unfortunately for MG the beer outlasted the car company hardly surprising given it’s heavy deep malted body; Old speckled Hen is full of flavour, and tickles the tongue with a slight aroma of Toffee. However I do find it a little to heavy for me unfortunately and I find it sits on top of my kebab on most nights out. Nevertheless at £1.50 a bottle from ASDA it’s well worth a wee swallow with your barbeque. Oh a little health warning this is mans beer it’s not like your cheep Coors pish water you get in the States, 4 of these and you know you have had a bevvie.

Newcastle Brown Ale aka “NEWKY BROON” or “DOG”:

newcastle_sb1.jpg

This beer is so good that Nike felt the need to make you a matching pair of shoes to wear when your drinking it. There not to my personal taste but if beige and brown take your fancy then why no? I’m a little bias with this one as it’s my regular drink, if you are lucky enough to live in the UK you can get this at your local Whetherspoons for cheaper than they sell it in most shops so it’s perfect for a cheap piss up. It comes in with a decent punch at 4.7% that will do the damage when you throw them back. Newky broon is very easy to drink as a result you may find your quiet drink turns into a raging brawl. Not to worry though the glass bottles they are served in are pretty much unbreakable so they can be used over and over again. DO NOT EVER DRINK NEWCASTLE BROWN ALE IN A GLASS, drinking Newcastle brown Ale in a glass is a crime against humanity it spoils both the taste and texture and causes the beer to loose it’s bubble faster than need be. I realise I haven’t given you much to go on in terms of taste but this beer is something you really need to drink if you haven’t already.

Tennents ICE COLD:

m_20090816-ecf4-24kb.jpg

This is not the best beer in the world by any stretch of the imagination, its not even the best lager in the world if truth be told it’s probably one of the poorer ones. However they serve it at Scotland games, which makes a little sentimental to me. An Ice cold T, A mince pie and 50000 people at Hamden park on a Saturday afternoon what more could you ask for? Tennents is lighter than a lot of beers, which makes it quite refreshing on a sunny day. It’s also among the cheapest drinks you will find in a pub which is always a perk if your poor like me.

Grolsch:

grolsch_preview.jpg

Grolsch is probably my favourite lager it’s neither to heavy nor to light. Every bottle you open tastes crisp and fresh and you find yourself wandering back and forth to the fridge for some more. Grolsch say they only bottle it when it’s ready and that is clearly the case. It has a sweet honeyish taste and a very clean finish. As far as lagers go Grolsch is pretty much spot on.

Leffe:

leffe1.jpg

Leffe is delicious, I don’t get the chance to drink it very often because it’s quite expensive in comparison to other beers of similar quality. It does however pack a smack in the face with an alcohol content of 6.6%. It has a very rich taste with a dry finish. I wouldn’t drink Leffe to quench my thirst but it is lovely with a steak or just sitting outside with a cigarette on a nice day. It’s a little heavy but is easily drinkable so again you may find yourself a little wasted after a few.

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I will gladly second the Newcastle deliciousness. Last night I took the wife out to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate her employment and their draft beers were all out of order. So I came to my fall back bottle choice, Newcastle. Went really well with the fish and chips.

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That picture of Grolsch just makes me thirsty when I look at it, also Newcastle Brown Ale is quite nice. Although I think I'll be holding off on the beers today as I had a few too many Guinness drafts last night with the ole' fish and chips. :mellow:

Hush your mouth Matt! It is impossible to use "Guinness drafts" and "too many" in the same sentence. :)

I've enjoyed the Newcastle and the Grolsch (The Grolsh bottles have been recycled a few times with my own home brews). The Leffe looks quite interesting.

The Aussie beers add just one more reason why I need to convince Mrs Yak that spending 20 hours in planes and airports is worth it for a antipodal holiday.

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Oh this is b-e-a-utiful!

Shan Revan: I've had Foster's several times. Believe me when I say you're not missing out on anything too special. I'd put it as a hair better than most of the American light beers. Maybe. Anyway, I found your angle of including their advertisements to be unique and interesting. Kind of makes me take a second look at the beers I drink!

MCRABT: Newcastle is wonderful! Also, I must agree with the sentiment in this thread that the pictures of Grolsch make me thirsty! Nice review of some fine beers that I will now have to spend weeks and dollars trying to find in the states.

I salute you both!

O\ Hali?

^_^

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You give your son beer? :o

I am a little disappointed to see no pale ales on this list, especially in the summer.

Blue Moon is becoming the new "cool" beer because it gives people who dont really appreciate beer the appearance of looking like a beer snob (it is seriously easy to drink, even for people who dont like beer). Sure, I like a good light summer wheat beer, but I typically prefer a heff like Paulaner or Pyramid.

I will add a few to the list for completeness:

Shiner Bock

Dogfish 90 min IPA

As far as light beers go, I will throw out Shiner Blonde (yes, I am a biased Texan)

about time shiner gets mentioned :D

also how did Iron lose a war? werent they affiliated with NPO or something? Pardon me, I've quit this game a couple of years back.

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Ok, so last night after reading the beer reviews I got thirsty. REAL thirsty. I present to you, my reviews! Fair warning, I was fairly buzzed towards the end.

So I wanted to drink and saw something cool. A six pack of assorted beers called "Shiner Family Reunion" this is my review of the six pack.

FamilyPack1.jpg

Shiner family reunion is a six pack of their most popular beers. Kinda nifty if you're in the mood to do beer reviews.

FamilyPack2.jpg

It features Shiner Black, Bock, Blonde, Kosmos, Hefeweizen, and Light. I drank and reviewed all these beers within the course of a little over 2 hours. So please take the reviews with a grain of salt.

Reviews look at

Color(including texture/head), smell, taste, other.

Ratings:

1=old flat beer found in an ashtray in a long-abandoned, sleezy bar.

5=Your average, every-day beer. Nothing special, but it gets the job done.

10=surely this beer was brewed by God himself, for you will orgasm just by looking at the bottle.

Shiner Bock

A fine Texas brew recognizeable by its distinct dark yellow label and the bighorn staring you down.

Color:

This is a reddish-amber colored beer that shines in the sun and beckons those around to quit working for the

day. The high carbonation is visible in its tendancy to leave streaks of head down the glass after you sip.

Also note the light coca-cola like burn on your tongue as the beer fizzes wildly. The texture is a nice

combination of watery drinkability with a foam-induced heaviness at the end.

Smell:

Surprisingly sugary, bready, and wonderful. Imagine what a fresh-baked cinnamon roll would smell like if it

did not have any cinnamon on it.

Taste:

Not quite as sweet as it smells, but very sweet nonetheless. It brings forward a distinct taste of alcohol

with mild coffee undertones. Somewhere in these layers there is a bitterness (same for the beer too!). The

aftertaste needs work. It leaves a sudden acrid iron taste, which gives way to a flowery "I just dranks some

beer." On second thought, make that "did I drink beer, or eat oatmeal?"

Other:

The high carbonation and sweet flavor makes for some interesting burps. The beer is somewhat refreshing, but

feels more like something that should be paired with a meal, rather than swilled to get drunk off of. Works

in a pinch. 6.6/10

Hefeweizen

Shiner's take on Hefeweizen. An unfiltered wheat beer. The pumkin-orange label boasts that it is brewed with

orange and lemon peels, and has a touch of honey added. (note: the normal label has a creepy two-headed dude

reversible bottle)

Color:

Strange. It pours as a clear, mellow beige but in the glass appears cloudy and tan. The head is very

thin and fine... millions of tiny bubbles working in coordination to give the appearance of foam, without

actually being foam. It breaks up pretty quickly. This again has a fizzy texture, but no where near the

fiziness of the Bock. It swallows smooth and clean, and the bubble only slightly tickle the tongue. It feels

a little heavier, and coats your tongue.

Smell:

Touches of honey, wheat, and citrus, but also cream. Think orange yogurt. The smell is hauntingly mild

and refreshing in itself. Like a fond memory played out as a daydream during a boring conversation.

Taste:

The label was right! I distinctly taste lemon, orange, and quick wisp of honey. The orange is a little

strong. There is a little bit of that chalky wheat feel, but not much taste. Finishes with a crazed orange

zest in your face aftertaste. It's wonderfully refreshing, especially since it was balls-hot today (102

degress F).

Other:

I want to drink four more of these. It's like some magic orange soda that gets you drunk. Not the best

hefeweizen I've ever tasted, but it is a good start. They need to tone down the orange/lemon and bring more

wheat into this wheat beer! Aftertaste needs work too. However it is refreshing and clean-tasting, and is

better than your average beer. 7/10

Blonde

This American Pale Lager features an inviting blue label which normally features an artsy depiction of a

blonde chick on a swing. My bottle has weird depression-era brewmeisters standing in front of a vat.

Color:

It pours a very very light yellowy-gold, and appears a normal transparent gold color in the glass. Not

much head to speak of, but I may have simply poured it too slowly. Again, the thousands of tiny bubbles

indicate a fair amount of carbonation which forms in a contrastingly white-ring around the glass. The texture

is very watery and moderately carbonated. It burns the tongue a little but is not unpleasant.

Smell:

The aroma is toffee and hops and bitter and almost salty. When you smell the caramel malt, you want to

taste it! Peanut brittle comes to mind. There is just a little bit of skunkiness to it, but it adds to the

smell. don't be fooled though, the smell is mild. I nearly slurped some beer up my nose trying to get a

better sense of it!

Taste:

Oh sweet heavens above,

surely divine sparks hath descended upon my tongue

for I taste bitter-sweet nectar which drags me under

down, down into ecstatic dreams of beer!

Yeah, that was poetry. I am in Farking love! The beer is sweet with toffee and roasted peanuts. There is

enough bitterness to remind you that you are indeed drinking beer, and enough hops and malty goodness to

remind you that it is Farking good beer! It goes down like silk with a pleasant aftertaste of hops.

Other:

Corn, grain, peanuts, toffee, coffee, sugar, oats. This beer is cheerful and smooth and it makes me

sad that I drank it all. The minus is the slight skunkiness in the aftertaste and smell, and it was a bit

watery, which is a shame. I don't have a large selection of Pale Lagers to compare it with, but I think for

now, this is my favorite! 7.5/10

Black

A "bohemian black lager" which comes in a morbidly dark bottle with a solid black label. Ironically, the

label encourages you to "spread cheer with every beer!" but I feel downtrodden just looking at it.

Color:

Um... black? During pour, it is very dark brown, and in the glass it is opaque and foreboding. The

head is a dark tan with some larger, soapy bubbles intermixed that just wond dissipate. Think RC Cola or

regular coke if you suck at life and refuse to drink anything outside of the coke/pepsi autocracy. There is

no burn or watery-ness to be had here. This beer is thick and milky going down. Very little carbonation and

the foam oozes down the sides of the glass after each gulp... err... sip. Yeah, sip.

Smell:

Smells of coffee with too much creamer. A strangely sweet smell is hiding behind those thick chocolate

-with-nuts smells. Curiosity drives the taster to dig deeper, compelling him to taste the black ooze again.

Taste:

Chocolate milk. Coffee. Cream. Roasted nuts. Earth! By your powers combined, I am captain drunk!

Seriously, it tastes of old fires, milk, toffee, and caramel, but doesn't forget to throw in some hops. It's

sweet and savory, thoughtful and resentful, wonderful and innocent. very very very nice.

Other:

Look out, blondie, You've got competition! This beer is smooth and very drinkable. It's heavy, but not

irritatingly so, like my ex girlfriend. This beer is what cola dreams of becoming. Drawbacks are this: when I

said it tastes of old fires, I meant 'burnt'. Someone BURNED my Farking BEER. What. The. Fark. Still, I'd

call this a toss-up with the Blonde. Fake edit: I went for a smoke after this beer and hocked a nasty loog.

The farking beer makes your spit turn brown! I'm giving it a .2 penalty for that, since no one wants to swap

spit with you when they realize that. 7.5/10 7.3/10

Kosmos Reserve

Another American Pale Lager. Tan label with "Prosit! To the original brewmaster of Shiner" (includes picture

of creepy "Kosmos Spoetzl" holding a beer glass)

Color:

See my descriptionm of Blonde. Add in a more reddish color to the mix. Light burn on the tongue and

cool watery texture.

Smell:

Again similar to blondie over there. This one is milder though. The smell itself has a shiatload of

hops smeared with peanut butter and sugar. YUM!

Taste:

More refreshing than blonde, but also seems more watery. Plus I drank a bunch of beer already, so that

doesn't help. There's those hops again! Peanut brittle, toffee, sweet caramel, sexy. I also taste some good

malt and this funky metallic taste like you'd get from drinking a can of 3 year old coors. Ther aftertaste is

like fruit-flavored morning breath. Yyych.

Other:

Hey! It's beeer! I think blonde is better, but this ain't your everyday beer. It's delicious and sweet

and makes me think of some kind of bizarre desert in a far off european country that I'll never see. Some

roasted nutty flavors. What really murders this beer is the aftertaste and that weird metallic undertone to

the whole thing. Guess their "original brewmaster" Farked up somewhere. Still, I can't !@#$%^ too much, since

the beer is getting me toasty drunk! 6.8/10

Shiner Light

Well, I figure I've saved the worst for last. Let's find out. This bottle is hiseous and gray. Camofluage

(Fark I can't spell right now) gray. It features a picture of the original brewery which looks suspiciously

like the alamo with a whore house built on top of it. Is this win?

Color:

For a light beer, this is surprisingly red and darker. I was expecting piss yellow swill. It has a

slightly fizzy bite and a head similar to the Black from earlier (larger bubbles and thick around the edges).

Smell:

Sweet and bready. If you've ever smelled beer-bread, you've smelled Shiner Light. For a second I

caught an unpleasant fart smell which could be skunkiness, or me (I just drank a six pack in about 2 hourse.

Fark you). Theres also a flowery boquet mizxed with hay and a crispness that I'm probably imagining.

Taste:

Kind of honey, kind of sharp, kind of caramel popcorn. But ugh, the aftertaste! It's like bile and

aluminum. Despite it all the beer is cold and bubbly and sweet, which = refreshing and pleasant.

Other:

Not sure what to think of this beer. I was expecting a piss-water Bud light knock-off and got a nice

crispy bubbly treat. The aftertaste leaves much to be desired and it's just a little too Farking sweet. I may

be slightly inebriated. Heh. Beer kicks $@!. Oh right ummmm, we'll call this a 6/10

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There is something horribly wrong with this picture...

:huh:

You mean that two of them are open? These are stock photos I found online. Best one I could find. :shrug:

Am I missing something?

Also, I just tried the blonde again while dead sober. Still awesome, but not quite the level of awesome that it was last night. Definitely notice the bitterness more when sober, but still has a nice toffee/coffee flavor. I love beer!

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I had the pleasure of trying a new beer this past weekend:

sdc10755g.jpg

St. Peter's Old-Style Porter

I've never tried anything else from St. Peter's, but after trying this one I'll be heading back to the store for more. I am a HUGE fan of Porters, so I didn't mind paying the high price tag on this one - about $4.50 for a pint. Well worth every penny.

This is a rich, flavorful porter. Definitely full bodied, but I could see drinking more than one and enjoying the second as much as the first. The taste is full of chocolate and coffee, but is not as sweet as some porters I've had. The texture is perfect - light on the tongue but with a full body to it. I loved the finish - long and sweet. I savored every drop to the end. I can't wait to try it again.

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