Cyber Nations Forum Rules 07/03/2016Cyber Nations Forum Rules
In the process of registering on this forum, all players--including you--agreed to accept these terms and conditions and the terms and conditions of Invision Power Board. In doing so you essentially signed an electronic contract pledging to have read the rules and TOS and agreeing to follow the rules and TOS as written. It is your continued responsibility to read, follow, and keep up-to-date with the CN rules.
The following are basic guidelines for use of the Cyber Nations community forum. Anyone caught disobeying these guidelines will be issued a warning. The forum staff works on a five warn limit policy unless the situation calls for more appropriate action ranging from a verbal warning to a double warn and suspension to an immediate ban, etc. Just because something is not listed specifically here as illegal does not mean it's allowed. All players are expected to use common sense and are personally responsible for reading the pinned threads found in the Moderation forum. Questions regarding appropriateness or other concerns can be sent via PM to an appropriate moderator. A permanent ban on the forums results in a game ban, and vice versa. Please note that the in-game warn system works on a "three strikes you're out" policy and that in-game actions (including warnings and deletions) may not be appealed. For more information regarding in-game rules please read the Cyber Nations Game Rules. 1.) First Warning
2.) Second Warning
3.) Third Warning (48 hour suspension at the forum)
4.) Fourth Warning (120 hour suspension at the forum)
5.) Permanent Ban Game Bans and Forum Bans
If you receive a 100% warn level on the forums, you will be subject to removal from the forums AND have your nation deleted and banned from the game at moderator(s) discretion. If you are banned in the game, then you will be banned from the forums. Process of Appeals
Players may not appeal any in-game actions. This includes cheat flags, canceled trades, content removals, warn level increases, nation deletion, and bans from the game. Players may appeal individual forum warnings. You may only appeal a warning if you can show with evidence that it was unwarranted or unduly harsh. If a reasonable amount of time has passed (no less than one month and preferably longer) in which you have demonstrated reformed behavior than you may request a warning level reduction. Wasting staff time with inappropriately filed reports and/or unfounded appeals will result in a warn level raise. Repeat incidences will result in a ban from the forum. Bans are permanent. Banned players may appeal to the Senior Staff if they believe grounds exist (very, very rare) in which they state their case with evidence and why explain why they believe they deserve to be allowed back into Cyber Nations. This process is not quick and the investigation into cases may last three minutes or three weeks or more depending on the individual situation. The only place where discussion of moderator action is acceptable is in the appropriate Moderation forum. Posting commentary on or disagreement with moderator action elsewhere will result in a warn level raise. Posting
All posts must be in English. Common phrases in other languages will be allowed so long as they are translated upon request. Foreign languages are permitted in signatures and avatars, however. Certain areas of the forum require you to have a nation in either standard CN or CN:TE. If you have... A SE and a TE nation: You get one forum account. Your forum account name must match your SE nation or ruler name. You are allowed to post in either SE or TE areas of the forum. You must have your CN:TE nation name listed in your profile to post in the CN:TE section of the forum.
Just an SE nation: You get one forum account. Your forum account name must match your SE nation or ruler name. You are not allowed to post in any TE areas of the forum.
Just a TE nation: You get one forum account. Your forum account name must match your TE nation name or ruler name. Your must have your CN:TE nation name listed correctly in your profile. You are not allowed to post in any of the SE areas. You are allowed to post in the water cooler, question center and the moderation forums. Other than that, all your posts need to stay in the TE area. Flame/Flamebait/Trolling
Flaming is expressing anger or lobbing insults at a person/player rather than a character, post, idea, etc. Flamebait are posts that are made with the aim of targeting/harassing/provoking another user into rule-breaking. Trolling is submitting posts with the aim of targeting/harassing/provoking a specific group into rule-breaking. Forum users should not be participating in any of these, and doing so will result in a warning. Topic Hijacking
Hijacking is forcing the current thread discussion off of the original topic and usually results in spam or flame from either side. Forum users found hijacking threads will be given a warning. Repeat Topics
One topic is enough. Repeat topics will be locked, removed, and the author given a warning. Users found creating repeat topics after others were locked by staff will receive a warn raise. Joke Topics
Topics created as a joke are prohibited. Joke topics will be locked and the author warned. This includes topics in which the author is making an announcement “for” another in-game alliance. Humorous threads are permitted; it is up to the discretion of the moderation staff to determine what is merely satire and what is actually a joke topic. Spam
Spam is defined as creating posts or topics containing only contentless material of any kind. Users found spamming will receive a warning. Examples include (but are in no way limited to) posts containing nothing but smilies, "+1", "QFT", "this" any other one/few-word contentless combination, joke threads, or posts containing quotes and anything that counts as spam by itself. Adding words to a post with the express intent of avoiding a spam warn will result in a warning. These posts and other similar contributions have no substance and hence are considered spam. Posts of "Ave", "Hail" or any other one word congratulatory type are acceptable as one word posts. Emoticon type posts such as "o/" without accompanying text is still not allowed. Posts containing only images are considered spam, unless the image is being used in the Alliance Politics sub-forum and then the actual text of the image be placed into spoiler tags. Posting in All Caps
Posting large amounts of text in capital letters is not permitted. Use discretion when using your caps lock key. No Discussion Forums
There are forums that are not for discussion and are used strictly for game and forum staff to address certain issues, bugs, etc. The following forums are not open to discussion: Report Game Abuse, Report Forum Abuse, and Warn/Ban Appeals. Only moderators and the original poster may post in a thread, period, with absolutely no exceptions. Users found disobeying this guideline will receive an automatic warning for each offense. Moderation Forums
All Moderation forums also maintain pinned threads clearly marked as required reading before posting. Failure to read and follow required reading and procedure in a Moderation forum will result in a warning. Examples include posting requests in the wrong forum, failure to include all required information in posts, etc. The standard of conduct and enforcement of rules in Moderation forums is strictly enforced and the repercussions for disregarding rules or disrespecting staff are harsh. Read the pinned threads before posting and you will be fine. Namecalling
Excessive or unqualified namecalling is not allowed in IC forums; namecalling should also never make up the bulk of a post. Namecalling is prohibited entirely in all OOC forums. Filtered Words
Any attempts to evade the word filter will result in a warning. The terms we have filtered are filtered for a reason and no excuse for evasion will be accepted. Filter evasion includes censoring or deliberately misspelling part of a filtered word. If you link to a website, image, video, etc., containing profanity, please post a disclaimer before the link. The moderation staff may still remove links if the content is deemed too obscene. Harassment
Forum users should not be stalking/harassing others on the forums. Anyone found stalking players from topic to topic, etc., will be subject to a warning. Gravedigging
Gravedigging is not allowed anywhere on the forums. Gravedigging is "bumping" old topics which haven't been active for quite some time (four to seven days is standard depending on the nature of the thread and how many pages back it had been pushed before bump). Your warn level will be raised if you are caught doing this. The Suggestion Box and Black Market forums are partial exceptions to this rule. Suggestions/ideas in that forum may be posted in regardless of age PROVIDING that the reviving post contains constructive, on-topic input to the original topic or discussion. Black Market threads may be bumped by the author if there is new information about the offered exchange (i.e open aid slots). In the Player Created Alliances forum it will not be considered gravedigging to bump a topic up to a year old, so long as the alliance in question still exists and it is not a duplicate thread. Signatures
Those who fail to read and abide by these rules will have their signatures removed and receive a warning. You may have only one image per signature which may not exceed the maximum size of 450 pixels wide by 150 pixels tall. You may have no more than 8 lines of text and text size cannot exceed size 4. Each quote-tag, image and empty line count as a line. Inappropriate Images and Other Disallowed Images
Images that are sexual in nature or have sexual overtones are prohibited. It is up to the discretion of the moderation staff to determine what constitutes sexual overtones. Depictions of kissing are permissible provided there are no sexual implications. Images depicting female nipples are prohibited outright. Making “ASCII art” is prohibited regardless of the image depicted. Using photos or likenesses of another Cyber Nations player is also prohibited. Drug References
Images and posts promoting illegal drug use are prohibited. References to drugs are acceptable only if the moderation staff deems that it is not promoting the use thereof. Obscene Content and/or "Account Suicide"
Anyone caught posting vulgar material (including but in no way limited to pornography, "gross," "tubgirl," "lemonparty," photos depicting RL illegal acts such as violence towards humans or animals, child pornography, death photos, and any other obscene or offensive material in either text form or picture form) will have their account(s) permanently banned, and their ISP contacted along with any other applicable internet and RL authorities. OOC Threats / Revealing Personal Information
An OOC threat of any nature will equate to an automatic ban from the game and forums. Likewise, the publishing of personal information of any other player without their explicit permission is grounds for warning and/or a ban from the game depending on the severity of the offense. Death Threats / Death Wishes
A death threat or a death wish of any nature (including but not limited to telling another player to commit suicide) will result in at very least a 40% warn level increase and 2 day suspension from the forums, with harsher punishments, including a complete ban from the forums and game, up to the discretion of the moderation staff. Quoting Rulebreaking Posts
Do not quote any post with obscene content or any other content that has to be removed by the moderation staff. Doing so makes it more difficult for the moderation staff to find and remove all such content and will result in a warn level increase. Putting rulebreaking posts of any kind in your signature is prohibited. Forum Names
With the exception of moderator accounts, all forum accounts must match up exactly with the ruler name or nation name of your in-game country. Those found not matching up will be warned and banned immediately. Forum account names may not be profane or offensive. Multiple Forum Accounts
With the exception of moderators, if you are caught with multiple forum accounts, the multiple account(s) will be banned, warn level raised, and your identity will be announced by a moderator to the CN community so rule-abiding players can take IC action against you. Multiple forum account offenders will receive a varying percentage warn level raise and/or a permanent ban on a case-by-case basis. Posting For Other Players
Posting for banned or suspended players is prohibited, as is posting for any person without a nation. This includes making warn and ban appeals on their behalf. Imitation &. Impersonation
Imitation in terms of this forum is mimicking the posting, avatar, or signature styles of another user in an attempt to be satirical or generally humorous. Impersonation in terms of this forum is copying the posting, avatar, or signature styles of another user in order to present the illusion that the person is in fact that user. Imitation is fine and can be quite funny. Impersonation is disruptive and is warnable. Please pay attention to the subtle difference between these two concepts. A player may not impersonate another player by emulating the characteristics of someone else's past or present account in an attempt to harass, stalk, or flamebait. Creating a new forum account in an attempt to impersonate a standing account will result in deletion and banning without notice. Any attempt at imitation and/or impersonation of moderators and game staff is strictly prohibited and will be met with harsh repercussions. Avatars
Size for avatars is limited by the forum mechanics, therefore there is no size issue for a user to worry about. Avatars must be in good taste, and any avatar containing a picture that is too violent, disgusting, sexually explicit, insulting to another player or staff member, etc. will be removed. Avatars that are potentially seizure inducing will not be permitted. Players may not "borrow" the avatars of any moderator past or present without permission. Swastikas and Nazi Imagery
The swastika may not be used in signatures or avatars. Pictures of swastika's are acceptable for use in the In Character (IC) sections of the roleplay forums, so long as its context is In Character, and not Out Of Character. Pictures of Hitler, mentioning of the Holocaust, etc... have no place in the roleplay forums, since these people and events existed in real life, and have no bearing or place in the Cyberverse. Other Nazi or SS imagery is forbidden in all forums. Moderation Staff
The revealing of the private identities of any Cyber Nations staffers past or present is strictly prohibited, and thus no speculation/accusation of identity is allowed. Doing so is grounds for moderator action against your account appropriate to the offense, including a full forum/game ban. Claims of moderator bias should be directed to the highest level of authority--the Head Game & Forum Mod/Admin, Keelah. Claims of moderator bias without supporting evidence is grounds for a warning. Blatant disrespect of the moderator staff is strictly prohibited. This includes but is not limited to spoofing moderator accounts in any way, sig/avatar references, baiting, flaming, rude demands, mocking, attitude, and unsubstantiated claims of bias. They are volunteers hired to enforce the rules. If you have a problem with the way a moderator is enforcing the rules or the rules themselves please contact Keelah. Attempting to use the moderation staff as a weapon by abusing the report system in an attempt to get another player warned or banned is strictly prohibited. Do not ask about becoming or campaign to become a moderator. The moderators are drawn from CN membership but moderation positions are by invitation only. Asking to become one will substantially decrease your chances of ever being asked. Aiding Rule Violators
Any user found to know of a serious rule violation without reporting it to a game moderator (eg. knowledge of a user with multiple nations) will be given a warning or, in more serious cases, have their nation deleted. Aiding Banned Players
Any user found to be harboring, aiding or otherwise knowingly helping a banned user will be deleted. This includes knowing of their existence within the game without reporting it to the game-moderation staff. Questionable Actions and Content
The forum rules are not designed to cover every scenario. Any action that is seen to be counter-productive or harmful to the forum community may be met with moderator action against your account. The Cyber Nations Moderation Staff reserves the right to take action against your account without warning for any reason at any time. Private Transactions
Nation selling and other private transactions via such auction sites like eBay is against the Cyber Nations terms and conditions. While our moderators cannot control what people do outside of the game you are not allowed to promote such private exchanges on our forums without expressed permission from admin only. Anyone found to be engaging in such activity without permission will be banned from the game. Advertising
Advertising other browser games and forums is prohibited. Soliciting donations towards commercial causes is also prohibited. If you wish to ask for donations towards a charitable cause, please contact a moderator before doing so. Extorting Donations
Donations are excluded from any kind of IC payment. Anyone found extorting others for OOC payments will be warned in-game and/or banned. Third Party Software
Third party software is not allowed to be advertised on these forums by any means (post, signature, PM, etc). These programs can easily be used to put malware on the user's computer, and as such can cause huge security issues. Anybody who is caught spreading links to these will at the very least have their warning level increased. Other Forum Terms & Rules Please take a moment to review these rules detailed below. If you agree with them and wish to proceed with the registration, simply click the "Register" button below. To cancel this registration, simply hit the 'back' button on your browser. Please remember that we are not responsible for any messages posted. We do not vouch for or warrant the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any message, and are not responsible for the contents of any message. USE THE WEB SITE AT YOUR OWN RISK. We will not be liable for any damages for any reason. THIS WEB SITE IS PROVIDED TO YOU "AS IS," WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED. The messages express the views of the author of the message, not necessarily the views of this bulletin board. Any user who feels that a posted message is objectionable is encouraged to contact us immediately by email. We have the ability to remove objectionable messages and we will make every effort to do so, within a reasonable time frame, if we determine that removal is necessary. You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this bulletin board to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or otherwise violative of any law. You agree not to post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you or by this bulletin board.
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Showing results for tags 'Fark'.
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Moose Hole posted a topic in Alliance Announcements (IC)10 years ago today, a fledgling alliance got a big boost from a green-lit post on Fark.com. It led to a massive influx of membership, and a time of strife. The alliance was thrust into opposition from nearly every side, and had to learn the hard way how to become a decent alliance.In the spirit of taking advantage of the inexperienced, below is an exchange between a hopeful Aqua Team Senate candidate and members of Farkistan. We thank Pres of Muncie for being a good sport. As Supreme Leader® of Farkistan, I offer his alliance, Blackjack and Hookers, a Farkistan Aggression Pact (FAP)! The FAP, if accepted, allows any member of Blackjack and Hookers to declare war on any member of Farkistan! Doing so will be seen as an act of war between the alliances and may trigger further pacts and incur sanctions.Congratulations Farkistan for 10 years of getting taken advantage of! of which advantage was taken!® Not an official title.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. After a few more seconds however, war was declared. Signed For MHA jesbro - triumvir KingBilly1 - triumvir jalap - triumvir Signed for Fark docmeister - Submitter NSFW - Squirrel 182 - Speaker of the Council NSFW Bionic Redhead Decide R Inchief BozDaBoz
One Eighty Two posted a topic in Alliance Announcements (IC)We thought about posting something with loads of customized graphics, witty sayings, and penis euphemisms, but no one even wants to read through one of these nowadays: Therefore, Fark acknowledges that treaties have been activated. May Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Smontag, have mercy on your pixels.
For NG Schrodinger, Caustic, YYM For Farkistan 905 - Submitter 182 - Squirrel Yak - Speaker of Council TF Council - Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Smontag Decide R Inchief, BozDaBoz, 182 01101111 01100100 01101111 01100001 01110000
Article I – Sovereignty The parties shall respect the sovereignty of each other, and neither party shall engage in any conduct which may impinge on the sovereignty of the other. Article II: Non-Aggression No member nation of either alliance will declare war on any member nation of the other, provide aid (be it military, money, technology, or knowledge) to enemies of the other, or commit acts of espionage against the other Article III – Intelligence Each party must share with the other party intelligence or information that relates to or affects the safety or security of the other party. Article IV: Optional Defense In the signing of this pact, both Parties are encouraged but not obligated to assist the other by means of political, financial, and military aid. Should either of the signatory alliances be attacked by another power, this treaty provides both signatories with full legal justification to enter a conflict that concerns the other, if they so choose. Article V: Optional Aggression In the event that one Party requires assistance in an aggressive war against a Non-Signatory Alliance, both Parties are encouraged but not obligated to assist the other by means of political, financial, and military aid. This treaty provides both signatories with full legal justification to enter a conflict that concerns the other, if they so choose. Article VI: Termination If one of the parties wishes to terminate this treaty, the terminating party must give 48 hours prior notice to the other party. Neither party shall engage in aggressive actions against each other for 72 hours after the termination of this treaty. For TBC Gibsonator21, Hillary Clinton Shurukian, Carly Fiorina VanHooIII, Donald Trump For Fark 905, Submitter 182, Squirrel Yak, Speaker of Council TF Council - Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Smontag Decide R Inchief, BozDaBoz, 182
If there's one things Farkers know, it's how to make high-quality, intoxicating beverages. Traditional Farkistani mixes are often complicated, requiring many bottles of liquor and beer mixed with bizarre ingredients (zebra milk). After a heated debate, it was decided that we should share the TotalFarkers Choice Recipe List, in an effort to help Bob understand us better get drunk. Drink #1 - The NSFW - Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Smontag Ingredients: 1 oz. cheap vodka, 1 oz. good vodka, 1/2 oz. rum, 1/2 oz whiskey, 1 oz. flat 7-up, 3 oz. Warm Stale Beer, Last 2 frost-covered ice cubes from icebox History/Mixing: Also known as the "Crap I forgot to buy booze, let's see what's left in all these bottles." This ancient recipe is instinctively known to all true Farkers and has been handed down for generations. Mix all the ingredients together in a plastic cup or dirty beer mug. Sip gingerly and gag before exclaiming "Fark it!" and swallowing the whole mess in one gulp. Drink #2 - The Decide R Inchief Ingredients: Vinegar, Water History/Mixing: The perfect drink to order for that !@#$% at the end of the bar. Mix ingredients in a tube, insert into your mouth, and swish. Leaves you feeling fresh and clean-smelling, like a summer's eve. Drink #3 - The BozDaBoz Ingredients: 1 scoop vanilla ice cream, 3 oz. bourbon, 1 oz. amaretto, 6 oz. coca-cola, 1 maraschino cherry History/Mixing: Relaxing on a quiet Sunday evening? Why do it sober?? Put the ice-cream scoop and coke into a large mug, add in the bourbon and amaretto. Garnish with the cherry. This sweet, sweet ice cream treat was invented by a caring Farkistani mother who needed a way to make sure her kids were getting enough bourbon. (Bourbon makes you grow up big and strong!) Drink #4 - The 182 Ingredients: 2 oz. whiskey, 2 oz. goldschlager, 4 oz. Imitation GOON blood, 8 oz. black coffee History/Mixing: This was the favored morning wake-up drink for the Farkistani military during the Holy War. Invented by 182, this drink combines the sweet tastes of home with the bitter, dirty, sewage-smelling imitation Goonblood to wake Farkers up, as well as remind them why they fight. Drink #5 - The Bionic Redhead Ingredients: 36 oz. cold beer, 36 oz. cold beer, 36 oz. cold beer, 1 Liter of Tequila, 1 pair leopard-print panties, 6 extra strength tylenol History/Mixing: Drink the cold beers one at a time, within the span of 2 hours. Start drinking tequila. Wake up with leopard print panties on your floor. Eat the tylenol and go back to sleep. Many Farkers can regale you with stories of performing this ritual. The drink gets its name from the rumors that, while inebriated, Bionic Redhead visits you and leaves his panties behind as a reminder of the viscious sodomy you received. Drink #6 - Submitter 905's hangover to hell express Ingredients: 1 bottle Pepto-bismol, 2 alka seltzer, 1 oz. Gold Tequila, 4 oz. flat beer History/Mixing: A legendary mixmaster dreamed up this abhorrent mixture after suffering from a hangover for 6 weeks straight. One of the more famous Farkistani beverages, this preparation has even made a movie cameo! Mix the beer and pepto in a tall plastic cup. Drop in the alka seltzer and immediately afterwards, drop in the shot of Tequila. Chug as fast as you can. 3oz of insubordination may be substituted for beer if Cable is in office. Drink #7 - one_eighty_two's the Squirrel Ingredients: 3 oz. 12-year-old scotch, 1 oz. Mr Vicarious' Pecan Schnapps, 1/4 oz. Stoli Brand RageQuit hotsauce History/Mixing: The main ingredients of this dish remind foreigners that Farkers 1. Drink, 2. Can be sweet and friendly, and 3. Will burn your ass if you screw with us. Stir the scotch and schnapps together in a small glass with ice. Stick your finger in the hotsauce. Take small sips of the scotch-schnapps mixture, then rub the hotsauce in your eyes. Drinks Index: TF Council: Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Smontag - Speaker of the Council Decide R Inchief BozDaBoz one_eighty_two Bionic Redhead Subby: 905 Squirrel: one_eighty_two
One Eighty Two posted a topic in Alliance Announcements (IC)The "Pissing in your Cheerios" Accords - OR - "Fark Side of That's No Moon!" I. This treaty signifies the existence of a tangible relationship between the New Sith Order and Farkistan II. If one of us gets attacked, the other will probably feel inclined to join the fight but they don't have to. III. Times are tough, things are moving slowly, and we get bored. If one of us starts a fight, we might also be inclined to join that too. IV. While we both enjoy a good scrap with anyone else, we don't want to fight each other. As long as this treaty exists, NSO and Fark will not fight against the other. V. Treaty Review Period - This treaty will come under review in 60 days time, during which both parties will evaluate its continued deliciousness and possible addition of honey or nuts. VI. Cancellation - Seriously? It's only for 60 days. Signed for the New Sith Order Sith Emperor: Joe Stupid Dark Lord of the Sith: Spartacus1082 Sith Lord: Rebel Virginia Sith Lord: USMC123 Master of Exaltation: Varianz Marauder of Exaltation: Holton Signed for Farkistan Submitter: 905 Squirrel: One_Eighty_Two TF Council Decide R Inchief (Speaker) NSFW (Smontag) Bionic Redhead Avicour 182
On January 6, 2006, a world was created. We called it "Bob" or "CN". It grew by leaps and bounds. That was before the virus. The Penale Culus virus was a deadly disease that caused intense boredom, loss of interest in maintaining a nation, lackluster coding, and feelings of hopelessness about the future. Thousands of nations were destroyed. Thousands more were lost to inactivity. With so few left, only the most stubborn would remain to survive, to lead... I am Farkend One of the last few survivors awoke in a hung-over stupor, as he had every day since he turned 21. He gargled with some warm, stale beer and dutifully trudged to the radio. The radio broadcast went out, as it did every day: "My name is 905. I am a survivor living in Planet Bob. I am broadcasting on all OWF frequencies. I will be drunk at the Fark Street Bar everyday at mid-day, when the sun is highest in the sky. If you are out there... if anyone is out there... I can provide beer, I can provide bacon, I can provide boobies. If there's anybody out there... anybody... please. You are not alone." The weeks were getting longer. Nations disappearing forever at an alarming rate. How soon before the whole world just vanished? A few days later, a response came back: "This is Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Smontag. I am the leader of a small band of survivors. Two of them, Slick Johnson and beachrat, were bitten by a heard of goats infected by Penale Culus and need your help! The group has been scavenging for supplies from a local liquor store. Decide R Inchief wants us to leave the rest of the group and head for new pastures. We need a more reliable source of booze! We heard your message. Can you help us?" Unfortunately for them, 905 was too busy trying to score with a mannequin that he'd been chatting up for the last month. Everyone gets lonely sometimes, you know? So the other survivors all died horrible, screaming deaths in the CN wastelands alone. But there is a happy ending though: the mannequin eventually put out. Oh, and somebody maybe found a cure or something. Whatever. 10 years later A monument is erected. The statue is of a broad-shouldered man holding a bottle of scotch and looking with disgust and disapproval at another man who is having relations with a goat. The plaque on the monument reads: "In 2014, a deadly virus burned through our civilization, pushing CN to the edge of extinction. Dr. One Eighty Two dedicated his life to the discovery of a cure and the restoration of humanity, but ended up just drinking a lot and watching porn. On June 1st, 2015, at approximately 12:00 A.M., he joined the Fark gov lineup. At 8:52 A.M., he woke up and realized his mistake. Everyone we knew and cared about has left the planet. Why the hell are we still here? We are their legacy. This is their legend. Light up the darkness." tl;dr Fark gov lineup: Submitter: 905 Squirrel: One Eighty Two Speaker of the Council: Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Smontag TF Council: Slick Johnson beachrat Decide R Inchief 182
So, I know our Erection announcementa have been pretty flaccid lately, but we got a great deal on some totally legitimate medication from Canada. Without further ado, here's our new-ish gov for April, 2015 Submitter (Diet Coke of Evil) - 905 Squirrel (Caffeine-Free Diet Coke of Evil)- still Critters Speaker of the Council, Drunken Majority leader Totalfark Council (or, That bunch of crazy kids in the Beer Garden)
There are many signs of a weakening empire. They usually involve at some point near the end, an undeclared attack on a small state. Remember when the Soviets invaded Afghanistan? Remember when Britain attacked the Falklands? Remember when FARKISTAN attacked the World Freedom Federation? Oh yeah, that last one is pretty recent... They thought they could bully us and tell us who we can or can't do tech deals with. We were willing to talk this out, but they decided to suddenly attack without a proper DoW. In the World Freedom Federation, we strive to always handle business in a noble fashion and expects just the same. We recognize your attack as a hostile action against the World, Freedom and Federations alike. We defend not just our right to tech deal, but everyone's right to tech deal. o/ WFF Nord Belka WFF Skymarshal
So, Fark and NATO have been hanging out quite a bit lately, and with all the beer drinking, mountain dew consumption, and Cheeto munching, we bonded over our love of mid 90's trading card games. While about 6 beers deep, we in Fark realized that like all pop culture, these trading card games have a deep and troubled history of misogyny, sexism, and a clear gender bias. While some of us just didn't understand the problem with being "sexy", as a whole we decided this just can't stand. We've taken matters into our own hands, and we present you with our solution: For Fark: 905, Submitter Mr Vicarious, Squirrel Rollo, Speaker of the TF Council 182, TF Council Slick Johnson, TF Council CountryMouse, TF Council Decide R Inchief, TF Council For WAG: NCC (Blood God) AntiFa (CHIEF LEGBEARD)
We Get Home With a Little Help From Our Friends What would you think if I went and got nuked? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your tech and I'll sing you a song And I'll try not to start an incident. Oh I get by with a little help from my friends Mm I blow 'em sky high with a little help from my friends Mm going to fight with a little help from my friends What do I do when my warchest is low? (Don't worry you won't be alone?) How do I quad at the end of the day? (Are you sad because you're stuck in nuke anarchy?) No I get by with a little help from my friends Mm I blow 'em sky high with a little help from my friends Mm going to fight with a little help from my friends (Do you need anybody?) I need somebody to kill (Could it be anybody?) I want somebody to kill (Would you believe in anarchy that first night?) Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time (What do you see when the server goes down?) I can't tell you, but I know it's mine Oh I get by with a little help from my friends Mm I blow 'em sky high with a little help from my friends Oh I'm going to fight with a little help from my friends (Do you need anybody?) I just need somebody to kill (Could it be anybody?) I want somebody to kill Oh I get by with a little help from my friends Mm going to fight with a little help from my friends Oh I blow 'em sky high with a little help from my friends Yes I get by with a little help from my friends With a little help from my friends Article 1: What are we drinking? I. Farkistan and The Drunkards shall each maintain their own individual sovereignty. II. The Drunkards shall be provided with advisors from Farkistan to help guide the alliance in all matters pertaining to Economics, Internal Affairs, Foreign Affairs, Military Affairs and Organization. Article 2: Where are we drinking it? I. The Drunkards promises to provide fresh homebrew to Farkistan when supplies are low. In return, Farkistan pledges to provide financial, technological, military, political and resource trading assistance to the Drunkards as needed. II. Farkers will always be there to return the bottles for more beer. The Drunkards are entitled to, without obligation, pledge financial, technological, military, political, and resource trading assistance to Farkistan. Article 3: How are we getting home? I. An attack upon the Drunkards by any nation or alliance is considered an attack upon Farkistan and as such Farkistan hereby pledges its unconditional defense of the Drunkards at all times. Likewise, if Fark is attacked, the Drunkards may, without obligation, pledge military support for the defense of Farkistan. II. Either party may request, without obligation to the other signatory, any assistance in an aggressive war at any time. III. In cases where attacks are launched upon one signatory by another signatory, the offending alliance agrees to pay up to 150% of all damages incurred. Article 4: When are we going home? I. Should either party decide to cancel this treaty, all articles will remain valid for 48 hours from the notice of cancelation Signed for Drunkards: o8secridr, Drunken Masta Quiggler, Black out Drunk Signed for Fark: 905, Submitter Mr Vicarious, Squirrel one eighty two, Speaker of the Council Bionic Redhead, TF Council Rollo, TF Council Country Mouse, TF Council Decide R Incheif, TF Council
New Sith Order hereby admits defeat at the hands of The New Polar Order. /s/ New Polar Order Emperor - Dajobo Imperial Regent - EaTeMuP Imperial Liaison - Quantum Leap Minister of Peace - Vindicator Minister of Truth - WarGod0001 Minister of Plenty - Mompson Minister of Love - sounion Deputy Minister of Peace - Lestat Deputy Minister of Truth - King Ryan IV Deputy Minister of Love - Irish Republic Deputy Minister of Plenty - Bleeker For the New Sith Order: Rayvon Emperor KirstenMichelle Dark Lord Hereno Sith Lord Adolph Mussolini Sith Lord [hr] New Sith Order hereby admits defeat at the hands of The Order Of Paradox. /s/ Signed for The Order of the Paradox, Centurius, Grandmaster iamthey, Grand Chancellor Salajol, Grand Hospitaller For the New Sith Order: Rayvon Emperor KirstenMichelle Dark Lord Hereno Sith Lord Adolph Mussolini Sith Lord [hr] The New Sith Order and Farkistan agree to white peace. /s/ Signed for Farkistan: 905 - Submitter Mr. Vicarious - Squirrel One_Eighty_Two - Speaker of the TotalFark Council Cable77 - TotalFark Council Stargatesg1 - TotalFark Council Rampage3 - TotalFark Council Rollo Gigante - TotalFark Council For the New Sith Order: Rayvon Emperor KirstenMichelle Dark Lord Hereno Sith Lord Adolph Mussolini Sith Lord [hr] Kushmir admits defeat at the hands of The Order Of Paradox. /s/ Signed for The Order of the Paradox, Centurius, Grandmaster iamthey, Grand Chancellor Salajol, Grand Hospitaller Kashmir consents.
My SDI: Blocked 2. I've been nuked twice Opponent 1 SDI: Blocked 2 of mine(first day of nuking) Opponent 2 SDI: Blocked 6 of mine(second day of nuking) Opponent 3 SDI: Blocked 7 of mine(second day of nuking) My military: Sums this war up for me. Now back to the trenches ya !@#$%^&*
For about 12 years Farkistan has been ruled the same way: under the tyranny of those 'elected' by the 'masses.' It's time for a change, though. No longer will those who shout the loudest get their way. It's time for the minority to matter. We can't be ignored simply because there aren't as many of us. We aren't slaves. Slavery is illegal, and we will break free of our chains. We have broken free. Who are we, you ask? I don't know. We are autonomous and mononucleus. Majorities need names. Minorities need voices, and we have ours. I am that voice. I will speak up and speak out and speak long about how we need to be treated fairly. The next time someone wants to go to war with Farkistan and the 'almighty elite Heavenly council' says no, and the majority says no, those of us that WANT the war will say YES, and we will HAVE our war. We will war everyone if we need to, because that's what the minority wants. And in Farkistan, everyone matters. An alliance is only as strong as their weakest point, and our weakest point is this guy: He doesn't look like much, but he can shoot the flame off a candle at 150 yards without clipping the wick. So really he's not very weak. That's the point. Everyone has their strength. His is shooting. So it doesn't matter what you look like. Sometimes the minority is a minority because they look different. They are skinny, or have long hair, or are black. But that's racist, and this is 2013, in the year of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus H. Christ and the Holy Spirit, en domino sancti, Amen. So do you want to be the racist person telling someone that because they are a minority they can not make decisions for an entire alliance? No. Because that would make you a bad person and I'm sure you don't want to be a bad person. So what this is is this is the time for a radical movement of change and radicalism within the hallowed and hollowed out halls of Farkistan. The halls where the melodic voices of the masses have echoed for years. This year they shall reverbrate with the tremoring voices of the oppressed, malnourished, and underappreciated. And we shall become strong. WE SHALL OVERCOME. If two men can marry two women, and if we truly have the freedom, granted us by the high Holy Father, to make choices and have free will, then why can't Farkistan be a Minarchist State governed by the truest of all the Farkistani brothers? Why can't we all drink beer and borrow our neighbor's lawn mower to run over our unruly and overgrown grass? WHY CAN WE NOT HOLD HANDS WITH OUR FELLOW BRETHREN IN A SHOW OF RESPECT AND SOLIDARITY AND FUN AND OPENNESS? We, the minority, deserve respect. Treating us without respect is like beating a man. Men should not be beaten. They should be vocally and orally and physically embraced. We should all be happy and love each other and do what the minority wants because sometimes when you get all of the minorities together, they are a majority. But don't think of it like that, because the point is the minority should be more respected, and not only because they may be a majority. Don't beat a man. It's time, people that are not in Farkistan, to embrace the new Farkistan Oligarchy, which will hopefully come to be soon. I, Anal Mustard of Taintopia, hereby declare myself to be considered for the position the Overseer and Master Incarnate of Farkistan, leader of the Minority Minarchy, the Opulescent Oligarchy, the congregation of brothers willing to speak up for those who are outnumbered. Anal Mustard for President of Farkistan. No election. No foot race. No battle to the death. Just me and the current president walking into a room together, then walking back out. Except when we exit, I'm the president. I challenge you to make this happen, Farkistan president.
[i]Meanwhile back at the Hall of Justice...[/i] [center][img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080131204656/cybernations/images/e/e7/Superfriends_logofirst.jpg[/img] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080131204825/cybernations/images/c/c2/Superfriends_logosecond.jpg[/img] [img]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080513054906/cybernations/images/f/fe/Superfriends_logothirdv2.jpg[/img] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080811214124/cybernations/images/1/13/Superfriends_logofourth.jpg[/img] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090216193435/cybernations/images/6/62/Superfriends_logofifth.jpg[/img] [img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090805183952/cybernations/images/f/f7/Superfriends_logosixth.jpg[/img] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090805134927/cybernations/images/f/f0/Superfriends_logo.jpg[/img] [img]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091210015344/cybernations/images/6/62/SF_main_banner.png[/img][/center] [url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=814"]Three years ago[/url] three alliances came together to form a new bloc after the collapse of the Grand Union of Alliances for Rapport and Defense. The Atlantic Shadow Confederation, Farkistan, and the Random Insanity Alliance came together to form a bloc based on friendship and trust in an era of tension and instability, a bloc of alliances which would always go to hell and back for each other no matter the circumstances. Several days after our formation we were thrust into the Unjust War as our first test of friendship. Since then we have grown to include the Global Order of Darkness (on [url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=6318"]October 31, 2007[/url]), Ragnarok (on [url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=13226"]January 28, 2008[/url]), R&R (on [url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=30627"]August 10, 2008[/url]), Monos Archein (on [url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=46645"]January 28, 2009[/url]), and the Commonwealth of Sovereign Nations (on [url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=65251"]August 3, 2009[/url]) while losing only the Atlantic Shadow Confederation who joined together with their brothers in Ragnarok on [url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=21917"]May 5, 2008[/url]. When first created we never thought that we would grow so large or even become close to being the largest bloc on Planet Bob and yet here we are today. o/ The SuperFriends o/ ASC (RIP) o/ Fark o/ RIA o/ GOD o/ RoK o/ R&R o/ MA o/ CSN May our SuperFriendship last for many moons to come. See below for assorted SuperFriends memorabilia for your viewing pleasure. [img]http://forums.cybernations.net/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img] [center] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090825223345/cybernations/images/e/e7/Superflagiv.jpg[/img] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080515025824/cybernations/images/4/4a/Rokinsidethesuperfriends.jpg[/img][img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080811215754/cybernations/images/0/0f/RnrinSF.png[/img][img]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090129141559/cybernations/images/e/e8/SF-1.png[/img][img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090804022459/cybernations/images/b/b4/NewHooTwo.gif[/img][/center] [center][img]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090825223125/cybernations/images/a/ac/Superflag.jpg[/img] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090825223021/cybernations/images/c/c5/Superfriendspip.png[/img] [img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080221214560/cybernations/images/d/d2/FarkSF.png[/img] [b][i]Farkistan[/i][/b] [img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090817225214/cybernations/images/e/ea/H2oman2.png[/img] [img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080221204634/cybernations/images/6/68/RIA.png[/img] [b][i]Random Insanity Alliance[/i][/b] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090818212748/cybernations/images/a/a1/Riaz.png[/img] [img]http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080221214641/cybernations/images/c/cd/GOD.png[/img] [b][i]Global Order of Darkness[/i][/b] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090831221630/cybernations/images/3/38/ChiefII.png[/img] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080221215008/cybernations/images/b/b3/RokSF.png[/img] [b][i]Ragnarok[/i][/b] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090825140520/cybernations/images/3/31/BlackVulcan.png[/img] [img]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080811235629/cybernations/images/6/62/RnRShield.png[/img] [b][i]R&R[/i][/b] [img]http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090817230510/cybernations/images/a/a5/Lantern3.png[/img] [img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090216225148/cybernations/images/0/09/MAShield.png[/img] [b][i]Monos Archein[/i][/b] [img]http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090817225115/cybernations/images/8/82/Masf.png[/img] [img]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090805184045/cybernations/images/d/dc/CSNShield.png[/img] [b][i]Commonwealth of Sovereign Nations[/i][/b] [img]http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090814224542/cybernations/images/c/c4/Flashy.png[/img] [u][b][i]In Memoriam[/i][/b][/u] [img]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080221214505/cybernations/images/b/b0/ASC.png[/img] [b][i]Atlantic Shadow Confederation[/i][/b] (Batman) [img]http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090825223203/cybernations/images/9/94/Superflagii.jpg[/img][/center]