Elrich von Richt
Nov 2 2009, 10:43 PM
QUOTE
$1.5M Russian SUV Features Diamonds, Whale Penis Leather
Whale penis leather interior. That's all you really need to know about the $1.5 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition. Yes, the diamond-encrusted white gold gauges and gold-plated bulletproof windows are impressive, but seriously, whale penis leather interior.
The already bulletproof and wildly over-the-top 8.1 liter GM V8-powered Dartz Kombat T98 is getting a name change to Prombron and along with it will come a complete and brain-maimingly bourgeoisie upgrade with the Monaco Red Diamond Edition. The world's most expensive ultra-luxury SUV will debut at the 2010 Top Marques Monaco show with luxe features crazy enough to make a Maybach blush. For your $1.5 million you get the following features:
1. Ruby Red matte paint
2. Gold-plated bulletproof windows
3. 22" Kremlin Red Star bulletproof wheels
4. Whale Penis Leather interior
5. Tungsten exhaust
6. Tungsten and white gold gauges with diamonds and rubies
7. White gold diamond and ruby encrusted badges - grill, side and dashboard
8. Special edition Vertu mobile phone with "alert" button
9. Additional outside kevlar coating
10. Rogue Acoustic Audio System.
And, of course, of course -
THREE BOTTLES OF World Most Expensive Vodka - RussoBaltique Vodka, drink edition, same as in the RussoBaltique car when it visited Monaco at 1912.
We have a lot of questions about this car, most of them whale penis leather-related, but in the bigger picture, this brazen finger-in-the-eye raises a good point, so to speak. What makes a luxury vehicle? Things we used to think of as luxury - bovine leather, wood trim, high-end audio, etc., have become mainstream. Does it take exceptionally ridiculous material selection and bold ostentatious flair to define new luxury? Is it encapsulating yourself in a vehicle capable of taking a direct hit from a rocket propelled grenade? Does it mean emulating the wild excess of past luxury much like the Red Diamond is doing? Who knows. But we're betting the tzars would roll in one of these babies.
Link:
http://jalopnik.com/5380680/15m-russian-su...e-penis-leather
shoe the fifth
Nov 2 2009, 10:53 PM
I bet it runs on pure undiluted orphan tears as well.
Ivan V
Nov 2 2009, 11:40 PM
I like how it's automatically bulletproof, for the casual crime lord or new millionaire who might have a few too many enemies.
It's pretty ugly, though, IMO, but you'd likely see Russia's millionaires and billionaires add that car to their collection of over a dozen expensive cars.
Lamuella
Nov 3 2009, 07:08 AM
the perfect vehicle for your favourite kleptocrat
Kenadian_2006
Nov 3 2009, 07:11 AM
I'll take a nice Alpha Romeo over that crap heap.
xoindotnler
Nov 3 2009, 07:21 AM
I prefer a car that can drive out of my street without a refill... and I do not want to know how heavy that useless sardine can is.
Fiat Panda 1000 CL
Lose a door? find some wood make a window in it and attach it to the car!
Kenadian_2006
Nov 3 2009, 07:48 AM
QUOTE (xoindotnler @ Nov 3 2009, 08:21 AM)
I prefer a car that can drive out of my street without a refill... and I do not want to know how heavy that useless sardine can is.
Fiat Panda 1000 CL
Lose a door? find some wood make a window in it and attach it to the car!
Those are horridly small cars. Only the midgets from Medieval Europe could comfortably fit in one, which makes me wonder why it was made.
xoindotnler
Nov 3 2009, 07:59 AM
Well it is perfect for parking in my street, there 29 cars and only 12 legal places to park here
Kenadian_2006
Nov 3 2009, 08:24 AM
Then make your streets bigger.
cooltoye
Nov 3 2009, 08:28 AM
QUOTE (xoindotnler @ Nov 3 2009, 08:21 AM)
I prefer a car that can drive out of my street without a refill... and I do not want to know how heavy that useless sardine can is.
Fiat Panda 1000 CL
Lose a door? find some wood make a window in it and attach it to the car!
about how much it cost in pounds lol
xoindotnler
Nov 3 2009, 08:41 AM
Seen them form 539 to 1,300 pound.
Just add some new suspensions and bigger wheels and you have a new SUV.
Conan the Barbeque
Nov 3 2009, 10:03 AM
I guess this doesn't cut it anymore?
Elrich von Richt
Nov 3 2009, 10:05 AM
I find it hilarious how people discussing the SUV and not the disturbingly odd whale penis interior
Tyler DurdenCC
Nov 3 2009, 10:16 AM
Don't squirm around too much on your seat or the head-rest may ejaculate.
(Seriously, whale-penis leather seats? wtf. I wouldn't want to sit on that)
EDIT: found another pic of the SUV
xoindotnler
Nov 3 2009, 10:22 AM
QUOTE (Elrich von Richt @ Nov 3 2009, 05:05 PM)
I find it hilarious how people discussing the SUV and not the disturbingly odd whale penis interior
Meh there more weird stuff in my daily food than that.
Flatlander
Nov 3 2009, 11:02 AM
The Russian auto industry .... giving the Italians reason to say "we aren't the worst" for decades ......
Seriously, the biggest Russian car company employs 150,000 people to produce less than 100,000 units a year. Without oil revenue Russia would still be the biggest third world country on the planet, with the second biggest warhead inventory. Comforting, eh?
Lamuella
Nov 3 2009, 11:14 AM
eh, it's no more stupid than the hummer.
BaronUberstein
Nov 3 2009, 02:53 PM
1. That car is hidious
2. Why whale penis leather? Does it have some kind of magical properties?
3. This car isn't nearly pimp'd enough, where's the koi pond in the trunk? Where are the iPod Touch's for door handles?
And if the airbags arn't made of 100 dollar bills, I'm going to be VERY disappointed.
KainIIIC
Nov 3 2009, 03:07 PM
QUOTE (Flatlander @ Nov 3 2009, 11:02 AM)
The Russian auto industry .... giving the Italians reason to say "we aren't the worst" for decades ......
Seriously, the biggest Russian car company employs 150,000 people to produce less than 100,000 units a year. Without oil revenue Russia would still be the biggest third world country on the planet, with the second biggest warhead inventory. Comforting, eh?
The French were pretty terrible at it for awhile too... and lets not forget all of those Latin American ISI auto industries.... oh boy.
Russia still needs to learn a thing or two about capitalism..
America
Nov 3 2009, 03:07 PM
QUOTE (xoindotnler @ Nov 3 2009, 01:21 PM)
I prefer a car that can drive out of my street without a refill... and I do not want to know how heavy that useless sardine can is.
Fiat Panda 1000 CL
Lose a door? find some wood make a window in it and attach it to the car!
Isn't that in the TV show the Inbetweeners?
xoindotnler
Nov 3 2009, 03:12 PM
Erhm? IDK? Really never seen it.
America
Nov 3 2009, 03:23 PM
QUOTE (xoindotnler @ Nov 3 2009, 09:12 PM)
Erhm? IDK? Really never seen it.
It's ok, the brits on here can answer that one confidently.
Kitsuki
Nov 3 2009, 03:27 PM
QUOTE (BaronUberstein @ Nov 3 2009, 03:53 PM)
2. Why whale penis leather? Does it have some kind of magical properties?
That's what the whale used to tell the ladies
Chrono
Nov 3 2009, 04:30 PM
The silver one actually looks kinda badass.
Hey guys, look at me, I'm driving a tank through your neighborhood!
Kenadian_2006
Nov 3 2009, 04:34 PM
QUOTE (Chrono @ Nov 3 2009, 05:30 PM)
The silver one actually looks kinda badass.
Hey guys, look at me, I'm driving a tank through your neighborhood!
Why not just buy an actual tank?
I'm sure you could get an antique for less than 1.5 million.
BaronUberstein
Nov 3 2009, 04:46 PM
QUOTE (Kenadian_2006 @ Nov 3 2009, 02:34 PM)
Why not just buy an actual tank?
I'm sure you could get an antique for less than 1.5 million.
T-34's sell for about 200k on Ebay, and I saw a Stuart IV for about 250k.
Kenadian_2006
Nov 3 2009, 04:49 PM
QUOTE (BaronUberstein @ Nov 3 2009, 05:46 PM)
T-34's sell for about 200k on Ebay, and I saw a Stuart IV for about 250k.
Case and point.
Tocsii
Nov 3 2009, 05:50 PM
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