Hi, I'm Gavin MacLeod. You might know me as Captain Stubbing from TV's "The Love Boat." Me and the rest of the crew of the Pacific Princess had many a fine adventure and the occasional lurid romance, all for your viewing pleasure. We truly hope you enjoyed your time with us.
However, I'm not here to relive my glory days, no no. I'm here because some old friends, Farkistan and Vanguard, asked me to come by today and give a little announcement on their behalf. They've decided to sign a treaty, which reminds me a little of that time in the episode "Captain Pappa" where I...
sorry, got a little carried away. Here's the treaty:
QUOTE
Quote
Our pledge to clients. When you invest with Vanguard, we promise to:
Put your interests first at all times and invest the majority of our personal assets alon-
wrong vanguard sir
Right!
When two Canadians, Bruce Kirby and Ian Bruce, got together for a couple of drinks in 1969, they knocked around some ideas about how to build the best raceboat ever. On a bar napkin they rendered drawings of boats with only one instru
Still the wrong vanguard sir.
What?
The first one was investments and that's a sailboat company; we're talking cn treaties here sir
well can we do something with boats, it sounds like it could be fun
its your podium sir.
Right!
Farkistan and Vanguard just got done chatting each other up. We like them, they like us, and so, a boat themed treaty.
Part 1 S.S. Minnow
Farkistan and Vanguard are on this little island together. It just does not make sense to bicker amongst ourselves. If you do though, no access to the coconut radio for you. Don't forget about the standard 150% reparations you're paying back. We'll try not to get the skipper involved unless we have to, so hold off on bickering back until the professor can make everything right.
Part 2, The ballistic missile submarine, Red October
We will pass through the American patrols, pass their sonar nets, and lay off their largest city and listen to their rock n' roll while we conduct Spy Operations.
Yeah about that. Fark and Vanguard aren't going to do that. Its just not cool. I know we have all of those shiny buttons and I know pressing them is fun, but you press the wrong button and you just might incinerate the ship and no one wants that. And don't tell me that your silent can't-be-traced ship is all rogue going to nuke us when they're not. If its something major one will tell the other and we'll decide where to go from there. 150% blah blah etc you know the deals.
Part 3 USS O'Brien
War is getting tricky this day and age. You have to have your options. Farkistan and Vanguard have theirs. Someone attacks Fark they might want to be looking over your shoulder for vanguard. Someone attacks Vanguard, might want to check who you're sitting next to when at the local pub. Certainly don't want to set your drink down.
Part 4 All aboard the FSS Failboat
One of these days, vanguard might be all, "who was that newb that wrote this horrible boat treaty?" Or Fark might be all "Man this treaty was a boat full of fail." That's what this clause is for. Vanguard or fark want to cancel, 48 hours blah blah blah, 72 hour peace, blah blah blah. Not the size of the boat, but the motions of the oceans, we all know what these thing are supposed to say people.
For Vanguard;
Grand Architects of Vanguard
The Sovereign, Revanche
The Vizier, QTUN
Architects of Vanguard
The Sword, Petrovich
The Shield, Rafa Nadal
The Hammer, Thaliak
The Treasurer, Gork
The Scholar, Marcus Aurelius
For Farkistan;
Emperor Norton I, Submitter
Captain Impavid, Squirrel
Princess Jules, Totalfark Council, Speaker
Physics Junky, Totalfark Council
Ackbarican Idol, Totalfark Counicl
Romeroland, Totalfark Council
dontcareaboutmyid, Loose Nut, treaty author
Our pledge to clients. When you invest with Vanguard, we promise to:
Put your interests first at all times and invest the majority of our personal assets alon-
wrong vanguard sir
Right!
When two Canadians, Bruce Kirby and Ian Bruce, got together for a couple of drinks in 1969, they knocked around some ideas about how to build the best raceboat ever. On a bar napkin they rendered drawings of boats with only one instru
Still the wrong vanguard sir.
What?
The first one was investments and that's a sailboat company; we're talking cn treaties here sir
well can we do something with boats, it sounds like it could be fun
its your podium sir.
Right!
Farkistan and Vanguard just got done chatting each other up. We like them, they like us, and so, a boat themed treaty.
Part 1 S.S. Minnow
Farkistan and Vanguard are on this little island together. It just does not make sense to bicker amongst ourselves. If you do though, no access to the coconut radio for you. Don't forget about the standard 150% reparations you're paying back. We'll try not to get the skipper involved unless we have to, so hold off on bickering back until the professor can make everything right.
Part 2, The ballistic missile submarine, Red October
We will pass through the American patrols, pass their sonar nets, and lay off their largest city and listen to their rock n' roll while we conduct Spy Operations.
Yeah about that. Fark and Vanguard aren't going to do that. Its just not cool. I know we have all of those shiny buttons and I know pressing them is fun, but you press the wrong button and you just might incinerate the ship and no one wants that. And don't tell me that your silent can't-be-traced ship is all rogue going to nuke us when they're not. If its something major one will tell the other and we'll decide where to go from there. 150% blah blah etc you know the deals.
Part 3 USS O'Brien
War is getting tricky this day and age. You have to have your options. Farkistan and Vanguard have theirs. Someone attacks Fark they might want to be looking over your shoulder for vanguard. Someone attacks Vanguard, might want to check who you're sitting next to when at the local pub. Certainly don't want to set your drink down.
Part 4 All aboard the FSS Failboat
One of these days, vanguard might be all, "who was that newb that wrote this horrible boat treaty?" Or Fark might be all "Man this treaty was a boat full of fail." That's what this clause is for. Vanguard or fark want to cancel, 48 hours blah blah blah, 72 hour peace, blah blah blah. Not the size of the boat, but the motions of the oceans, we all know what these thing are supposed to say people.
For Vanguard;
Grand Architects of Vanguard
The Sovereign, Revanche
The Vizier, QTUN
Architects of Vanguard
The Sword, Petrovich
The Shield, Rafa Nadal
The Hammer, Thaliak
The Treasurer, Gork
The Scholar, Marcus Aurelius
For Farkistan;
Emperor Norton I, Submitter
Captain Impavid, Squirrel
Princess Jules, Totalfark Council, Speaker
Physics Junky, Totalfark Council
Ackbarican Idol, Totalfark Counicl
Romeroland, Totalfark Council
dontcareaboutmyid, Loose Nut, treaty author
Vanguard
