I'm looking for smart and witty pick up lines that actually have a chance of working...
I've looked some up on the internet and most of them are pretty lame...
Help me out please!

I don't know any, sorry.

Does this rag smell like chlorophorm to you?

“As of right now, I’m rash free.”

“I make murals with my own feces.”

Because CN is the best place to ask for clever pick up lines

So, how do you feel about roofies? I just put one in your drink.

"My magical watch here says that right now, you're not wearing any panties!"

"But I am wearing panties."

"Huh...Damn thing must be a few hours ahead."

"I play an online political simulator."
"Have you ever met a trouser snake?"
"I only have 2 weeks left to live"

All of those will get you a lady.

Hi, I'm part of the largest online nation and political action simulator in the world. Care to #%*?

if you want some honest advice, pick up lines don't work. PERIOD.


just talk to a girl and be nice, and pretend to be interested in what she says..

Asking for pickup lines on CN is the second most stupid thing you could do.

Using pickup lines is the most stupid.

If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope it leaves your face alone, cuz you're really cute.

"I play cybernations. I rule my alliance. My nation has x NS"

The rules prohibit me from sharing my econ pick up lines, I'm pretty sure.


But, I heard that if you sign up at the FCC forums and go here, you can find them!

haha, i never even noticed that thread.

Dude...you POSTED in it


Also, here's a mild one:
"Baby, I think Keynes had it right; in the long-run, we’re all dead anyways, so we might as well manage our demands right now."

I've seen better econ lines.

i've always had good luck with the bad pick up lines. don't go at them like you are serious but say it as a joke. they think it's funny and you can use that as a conversation starter

"Hey I'm [insert name here]"

Most successful one ever.

"Nice shoes, wanna $%&@?"

"Baby, I know all the sensitive spots in YOUR demand curve. Open up your economy, and I’ll show you what an inelastic supply curve can do for your marketplace"

That is ridiculously awesome.

Wow, that is insane!

Don't use a pick up line. What's worked for me in the past is the old art of bull shitting. Example: if you're on the subway and a girl is reading a book, pretend that you've read it, or that you've read other stuff by that author. It gets a conversation going and she might be interseted. If she isn't, then shrug it off and move on.

Rejection isn't the end. It's a big sea out there -- you'll find a fish that bites.

Yes they are


Don't use them, though...you might...uhhhh...well, never mind

I'm just remembering the time my buddy and I were hanging out at a bar and really attractive girl walked by and he said "You know, the only way I could ever get a girl like that would be to dress in all black and get a bottle of chloroform."

In other news, that same buddy was recently paroled. Now let us never speak of this again.

How about, "So you want to come back to my place for a glass of genuine, sparkling tap water? But I have to get up early, so you better keep your hands to yourself."

Just do that, or you could say "Damn beezy you look hella fine," which works every time.

This and this.

Peculiar enough, there are no pick-up lines in Russian. Period. Only if you translate some English ones.

That's because in Russia, girl picks up YOU!

There aren't any pick-up lines that have a chance of working. If there was a magic sentance that could make knickers fly off instantly, wouldn't every man in the world know it already?

Pick up lines don't work.

Just talk to the girl. Ask her questions about herself. Girls love to talk about themselves. Make comments about what she talks about to show that you are listening (or at least pretend to listen). It's OKAY to give her compliments, but take it slow and easy, don't smother her with them. Just play it cool.

But anyway here's an old gem just for the lulz:
"Good thing I brought my library card, because I'm checking you out."

I very highly doubt that, though I'd have to ask a few others to verify or deny your statement.

It just does not seem very likely, to me.

"I once touched Trotsky's goatee."

Women will throw their panties at you in an instant.

"hey, it looks like you dropped something" ...wait while she bends over...

*bam*

"SUPRISE!"

Holy !@#$, a real answer that works!

Rent a toddler, makes it look like you have commitment.

HAH, IF ONLY

I still dislike those jokes though

Or be even more novel and actually try to be interested in what she says.


Sexual assault is totally awesome

You would be surprised how often "Hi I'm xxx - fancy a shag later?" works

Never?

You've never been out late in Newcastle, have you?

You went wrong when you started referring to women as "chicks" and suggesting that through the use of some pathetic verbal trickery you'd be able to "pick them up."

What I did to get my girl (I'm only 13. Kised her too. Still with her.) was compliment her on something, usually an article of clothing, and we started talking. We became good friends, and two weeks later, I asked her out. This is almost exactly what she said.

"Like, Ohmygosh, yes Jake, yes!"

Ah... Rachel...

And we've been going together ever since. The first time we kissed was June 6th.

Seriously, just compliment her on something, and it could become a conversation starter.


Also, it helped that I was the new kid in school.

My favorite pickup line:

"Now let's not turn this $%&@ into a murder!"

You'd be surprised how often it works.

There are no good pickup lines.

However, making a decent observational comment about the location you're in (NOT how hot she is), usually makes for a decent opener.

Also, drinking games at parties (and sometimes bars) are really easy ice-breakers. Why do you think we all love beer pong and flip cup? It's not because we like drinking beer after a dirty ping-pong ball lands in our cup.


That said, "picking up girls" is a bit of a misnomer. It implies you're tricking them somehow. I prefer to develop a legitimate connection with people. As do most folks I think. A hot girl doesn't seem anywhere near as appealing when you realize just how boring she is.

More useful than pickup lines are good questions that lead to interesting conversation and the building of a connection.

Here's some two leading questions that are pretty much all-purpose and don't seem forced:

"What do you do for fun?" (A good follow up tease if she can't give a decent answer is "Oh wow, I don't know if I can talk to someone who thinks they're boring! I better go." Then start walking off. If she's interested she'll grab you and give you a better response).

Once you've already gotten into a conversation about something more specific from that question, great follow ups (I recommend re-stating one or two words/phrases she used, which demonstrates you're listening)

"What is it about ****** that you like so much?"

"What kept you involved with ****** for so long?"

Tell a funny story about you doing ******* at some point, and end it with, "You got any crazy stories like that?"

A second excellent question to ask:

"How do you know ****** ?" (If you met them through a friend)

Excellent follow-ups to THAT question include:

Tell a funny story about ********, then "Anything hilarious ******* has done around you?"

"He/she is an awesome friend too, and I got to know them by *******. Ever meet anyone that way?"

I recall being at a party in university. Huge affair. Because this was first year, there were a lot people enjoying their first taste of 'freedom' from their parents' homes. (This is a polite way of saying that many of them were drunk and acting like idiots.)

Also in attendance was a girl I had noticed on the first day of classes, a few weeks earlier. She had arrived late for class that first day and turned quite a number of heads. Tonight, however, she was sitting by herself with a look on her face that I was reasonably certain I could decipher.

So I walked up to her and said:

"Ever get the feeling you're surrounded by idiots?"

Then I sat down and we just talked for the next few hours. And....we were married twenty-two months later.

This is a roundabout way of suggesting that you just be yourself.

If you are unable to be yourself, then try to be someone who at least showers regularly. The rest of us will appreciate it.

pick up likes always suck, never work, and make you look cheesy.

Be yourself. Be charming. Girls know that a line is a line.

This cannot possibly work good sir there has to be an angle

the problem is that there was only ever one funny one, and all the rest suck.

"In America, you can always find a party. In the soviet union, The Party can always find you"

the only angle is to be confident and charming.

And sincerity.

Once you can fake that you've got it made.