"Now let's drink to me and my reflection in your lovely eyes."

"Shall we shag now or shag later?"

"Allow me to introduce... myself!"


None of those will work, but you'll have some interesting stories to tell. My advice would be to let yourself relax and be natural, because the women worth dating will be able to see right through any act and it will turn them off.

Wait, you must be lying! You actually kissed her!?

Impossible. People who play CN have never actually talked to girls.

This. Might be enough to be sigged...

Pick up lines:
"Listen, I have your family and friends as hostages on some godforsaken island in the Pacific, I have a gun in my pocket, and a sniper with your head in it's crosshairs. Will you go out with me?"
Or
"Hello, my name is <insert name here>, what's yours?"
Or
Fake (or get real) sincerity.

Actually now that I think of it, I have never "picked up" a girl. I'm always at least a bit friendly with them first.

The ones around listening/watching radio/tv were passable too, but the Party one is definately the best.

I agree again with Lamuella *sigh*

Am I redundant now?

Okay, back on point, I actually feel generous to help out the OP.

If you're still around, answer a simple question: Can you tell me some females (not necessarily those you might be attracted to, sisters, your mother, any girls who are friends, even if they have significant others) that you talk to regularly? There is a point to this that might actually help you LEARN HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS.

Dammit man you don't talk to wimmin! You sex them up, slap them about and what not.

/thread


Or a puppy. Women are suckers for them, no joke.

"Mind if i hang out over here until its safe back where i farted?"

"I like Pokemon. Do you like pokemon?"

Everyone, take note of this masterful line here. It is sure to get you any date you could possibly want.

Pink up lines are stupid. Just be yourself and be funny. If you can make a girl laugh, she's usually yours.

sigged. Thank you.

God people use pick up lines?

Smart (maybe a little too smart) and witty (to some):

"I wish I were DNA helicase. Then I could unzip your genes."
"I wish I were sine squared, and you were cos squared, then we could be one."
"You're as cute as 3.14"

There's another math one about lying tangent to curves, but I don't remember it..... physics class was fun.

The joke was "Are you a differential function? Because I'd like to lie tangent to your curves!"

Lame jokes like that rock.

"I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves."

There we go. I've made it a point to try and forget calculus, since I'll never have to deal with it or physics again. Thanks, both of you

"I'm longer than Pi."

BAM! Made that one up on the spot. Gimme my woman.

I've heard that "Hey, wanna &#$%?" works for King Comm. I call liez, tho.

But out of all seriousness, a pickup line that kept me giggling for hours (it was late at night, lol):
If you were a burger at McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful.

And one that actually got me:
Wanna SPAM with me? XD

"Did you pass gas? Cause you're blowing me away?"

"Uhg i think someone farted, lets get out of here."

"Are you tired, cuz you've been runnin through my mind all day."
"Is your dad a thief, cuz he stole the stars and put them in your eyes."

Or lets $%&@. I prefer the last option as it gets results no matter what.

"You'll do."

Wait, wait, how about:

"Are you from Venus, because your body's out of this world!"

"You don't work at UPS, do you? Because I could'a swore I saw you checking out my package!"

"Those clothes look good on you, but baby they'd look better on my bedroom floor."

"That must be jam, 'cause jelly doesn't shake like that."

All of those are from 8bit theater.

"Are you a flat tyre? Cause I wanna pump you."

*lick fingers and wipe them on her shirt*

Let's get you out of those wet clothes.


I swear, if a guy ever said that to me, I'd annihilate him. Mainly because I don't want his slobber on my shirt.

If you were a hamburger, you'd be the McGorgeous.

My friend actually tried that. I ended up picking up that girl

*dumps a bucket of water on Wain*

Let's get you out of those wet clothes

If I was trying to pick up Empress I would say

"I like sunshine. Do you like sunshine?"

==Only works if you look the woman in the eye while saying it though. Also, make sure that when you make the first eye contact, don't look away immediately, maintain the eye contact.

The "Hey, wanna &#$%?" line was not meant to be taken literally, there isn't actually a magical pick up line that will suddenly make women want to sleep with you, I merely use "Hey, wanna &#$%?" to demonstrate two important things, humour, and confidence, speak slowly and clearly, don't whisper and mumble, firm handshakes, maintain eye contact, tease them a little, make jokes about yourself, sit and stand upright or imitate their posture, don't fidget, don't cross the arms across the chest, don't make quick, jerky movements.

Tell them you're government. That works even better.


So very true.


As much as I hate to say it, that one actually made me laugh.

Lol. Great thread so far.

A buddy of mine actually wound up succeeding with the line "I seem to have lost my pants. Mind if I wear yours?"

You walk up to the woman touch her shoulder, gently take some of her hair and smell it, then get close to her ear and whisper "My ex-wife used that same shampoo. Don't worry though, she's dead now."

This works.

What do you have against pink lines?

How much does a polar bear weigh?

Just enough to break the ice.

Perfect.

Do you use windex in your vagina? I see myself in it.

"I can make your bedrock like Fred Frintstone."

"Do you work for UPS? Oh, I could have sworn you were looking at my package"

"Hey baby. I am the frontman for that band ____, wanna have sex?"

"Hello member of the female species, for I have the utmost respect for, I would like to inquire about your availability to dine with me?"

"Nice rack there."

"Hey, can I borrow a quarter to call my tight mom?"

"Can I touch your ____ ?"

I wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

"I'd like to take you home right now.... so you can meet my mom"

That is so full of win it need two awesome smilies

lets play house you be the door and ill slam you all night

lets play army ill lay down and you can blow the $#$@ out of me

Are you a trumpet? Because you're making me horny.

"Hi, I am a sensitive guy who likes haveing deep conversations about life and the future."



then next thing ya know...BAM

"You've got something in your eye. No, wait. It's a sparkle."

Nice legs, what time do they open?

Do you have a boyfriend? [Yes] Well then, call me when you want a man friend.

"I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?"

-If you're at a restaurant and you're interested in the person taking your order- "Yes, I'd like *something*,*something*, and your phone number"

"So did it hurt?" "Huh?" "Falling from heaven"

"Damn girl, if you were a plant, I'd grow a whole field of ya'll."

Lamest:

"Want a raisin? How about a date?"

"Are you from the Carribean? 'Cause Jamican' me crazy."

"If you were a booger, I'd pick you first"