Don't Panic #33

[scytale]

[img]http://i336.photobucket.com/albums/n329/Dragonmack/logocg9ez4.png[/img]
[img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2734/4502950660_73e9a74133_o_d.jpg[/img]
[img]http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4054/4502315983_3ce12375b3_o_d.jpg[/img]
[img]http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4018/4502950624_694392958a_o_d.jpg[/img]

If you looking for the latest, accurate and most up to date newsletter there is in CN why are you reading this? If you’re a masochist looking for some good torture with a side of Vogon Poetry, welcome and read on!
- Scytale

[color=#4040FF][b][size="7"]Headlines[/size][/b][/color]
[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]Triumvir Elections [/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Scytale[/i]
We had three candidates for the Triumvir elections. Pudge decided to run for re-election. AndyDe and Niu decided to throw their names in against a heavily favored incumbent. In the end, Pudge was elected by a wide margin but hats off to AndyDe and Niu for trying.

[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]Harmless Paradox[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Dynasty[/i]

This month we saw us cancel on our long time ally and friend, the Order of the Paradox. This cancellation was mostly brought on by TOP’s actions during the war, mainly those of aiding GGA nations, which we were at war with. Since then, relations between us have been deteriorating, and the recent cancellation of our treaty is just the latest piece of that deterioration. While we may no longer be allies and treaty partners, and while we may have many disagreements to resolve, I know many of us still have friends over in TOP, especially because of the large number of former Grämlins in TOP. As such, we wish them the best, and we hope that one day we may once again, be able to be friends.


[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]
Cancellation of the Härmlin Accords[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Dynasty[/i]

Yes, I am sure you have already heard the news, After all, it was the major topic in every channel everywhere; the Härmlin Accords have been canceled! Many wonder how the uncancellable accords could have been canceled, but we’ll clear up the mess for you. First, Article two, section six of our Hitchhiker’s Code explicitly forbids treaties that may not be canceled, and thus, our court declared the accords unconstitutional! Even worse, at the same time, the Grämlins found a loophole in their codex, that states that every treaty can be amended by a simple agreement of the alliances it entails, unless otherwise prescribed. Thus, as they saw us taking different paths to peace in the world, they motioned for an amendment to add a cancellation clause that called for no warning. To make a long story short, the two occurred at nearly the same time, so whether you believe it was the MHA’s court order that voided it, or whether you believe it was the Grämlin’s codex is yours to decide; the only thing everyone can agree on, is that the accords are obviously void!


[color=#4040FF][b][size="7"]Alliance Happenings[/size][/b][/color]
[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]Our 42nd month anniversary[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Scytale[/i]

Did you know last month was MHA’s 42 month anniversary? No. How dare you forget the most important number anniversary for the MHA! That’s blasphemous. You should be roasted alive over a single slow burning match stick while being fed 30 day aged 100% Angus steak with a glass of Joseph Phelps Vineyards 2005 Insignia Cabernet Sauvignon. You my reader is not worthy to read further nor join us in our forgotten celebration. Will you not only be removed from our invite list, we have decided to not even hold a celebration because YOU did not have the decency to remind us that it was our 42nd month anniversary. What kind of friend to the MHA do you consider yourself not even bothering to remind us that we’ve forgotten our most important 42nd month anniversary? I am so upset I am going to sleep now. Good night, sir!

[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]Farewell WCR. Don't forget your towel.[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Scytale[/i]

On March 22, 2010, on the 42nd month anniversary of the MHA and the 42nd month anniversary of his membership with the MHA, WCR deleted his nation and left CN. His departure also lowered the alliance score by 0.42. As I sit attempting to write this article on WCR’s departure, I realize how inadequate I am to this task. He has done so much and affected so many that to properly write this tribute it may take me months to research and interview. Instead, I post this video WCR left with us and leave the memories and achievements to be written by those who knows best by posting on this Don't Panic edition's thread.

Goodbye WCR. You will be missed.
MHAil

[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLUIII0M88w"]WCR's video[/url]

[url="http://www.mostlyharmlessalliance.com/viewtopic.php?f=403&t=10064"]WCR's goodbye thread posted within the MHA forum[/url]

[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]End of War[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Scytale[/i]
The *whatever it’s called* war is over!... mostly. The Grämlins are still at war but everyone else has made peace. Some called it lunacy, some called it the war of boredom and some called it by names which Admin forbids me to write. I called it fun. I started around 5300 infra and got down to a point where I had to repurchase infra over and over again so I can buy nukes. Most of my opponets were nuke capable all the way down to the point of doing the 1000 infra bounce. To the nations I fought, I salute you. Very few turtled or went inactive. An extra MHAil to those IRON nations I fought at the end of the war that still gave it all you got after all that was done to you.

It’s time to rebuild to get ready for the next round. (Considering all the damage, this might take a while)


[color=#4040FF][b][size="7"]Within the alliance[/size][/b][/color]
[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]Ministry Changes[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Pourquoi[/i]

pudge's successful re-election means that the MHA's executive remains unchanged, however we have seen two Ministers step down this month. Firstly Espressoville, who galantly and brilliantly lead the MoDF through the last war has stepped down after what I'm sure we will all applaud as an excellant innings from a MoDF stalwart.
Equally, we are sorry to see Niu Garzukk step down from the MoH after a 2 month period in the position.
Both Ministers will be missed, but will equally gain many plaudits for their excellant terms.

Espressoville's department has already been filled, with Cable77 taking over as the Minister in charge of our Destuctor fleets. There aren't many better people to have in charge of those deadly spaceships so we salute him and look forward to a seeing yet another in a long line of truly excellant MoDFs.

We also saw the Assembly elections take place this month which means we see Bojangles move from Legislator to Speaker of the Assembly and a newcomer in AndyDe taking over as Legislator.

Finally, Lawfarm successfully defended his Court Officer seat to see the Court remain the same. With this many elections, you can see why we truly are the greatest democracy on planet bob folks!

And those changes mean the the MHA government looks like this:

[color=#FF0000]Triumvirate: Jadoo1989, pudge1975, majorddf[/color]

[color=#4000FF]Minister of Hitchhikers (Members): VACANT
Deputy: unpronounced[/color]
[color=#40FF00]Minister of Towels (Economy): Nath1194
Deputy: kippa tarxien[/color]
[color=#FFBF00]Minister of BabelFish (Diplomacy): Yankeefan2
Deputy: NuTkaSe[/color]
[color=#8000FF]Minister of Bad Poetry (Communications): Dynasty
Deputy: priya91[/color]
[color=#FFFF00]Minister of Destructor Fleets (War): Cable77
Deputy: VACANT[/color]

[color=#40FFFF]Speaker of the HHA: Bojangles
Legislator of the HHA: Ande[/color]

[color=#FFFFFF]Court Officers:
El Presidente
Lawfarm
Johnson[/color]

[color=#4040FF][b][size="7"]Just for Fun[/size][/b][/color]
[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]The Editor's Drinking...[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Pourquoi[/i]

First Kir, then Kamikaze, so I decided to try and stick with the 'K' theme and go for another cocktail by that letter. However, the important word in that last sentance is 'try'. The truth is there just aren't that many cocktails beginning with the letter 'k' and to be quite honest I think I'd already tried the only two which were any good.

So, what have I been drinking instead. The answer comes in the form of what is certainly one of my favourite cocktails; a fruity, sweet, tasty mixture called 'Sex on the Beach'.

Ingredients:
Vodka
Peach Schnapps
Orange Juice
Cranberry Juice

To make, simply get yourself a highball glass, fill with ice, stick in a shot of vodka and a shot of peach schnapps, then top up the remainder of the glass, firstly with OJ and then Cranberry Juice. I tend to find that a bit more Cranberry is preferable to too much orange, and that when you've finished adding the ingredients it's a good idea to give the mixture a quick stir.
The precise quantities of the ingredients used can vary a fair amount depending on your preferences. I know some people who barely use any peach schnapps and others who use twice as much of it than vodka.

Equally the juices are very important to the drink. Without the OJ the cocktail would be called a 'Woo Woo', which is a very nice drink in itself. I slightly prefer the Sex on the Beach, because I find the OJ takes a little bit of an edge off the cranberry to provide a fuller, more rounded taste. Equally, going overboard on the OJ will kill anything special about the drink, so make sure to get the proportions right.

So there you go, its a very simple drink to make, not too expensive, lovely to sit out with in good weather, or you can always mix up a jug to have whilst watching a film. I made a couple of jugs for a friends birthday a few weeks back and there wasnt a single person who didn't enjoy this drink - simply put, sweet, fruity and tasty. If you like those three qualities, you'll love this cocktail.

Cheers



[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]Vogon Poetry[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Dynasty[/i]

Myriads of diversity continuously accomplish exuberating tricot expectations endlessly endeavoring enormously energetic eggshells metaphorically establishing countering plagues against phalanxes fortifying metabolic shapes synchronizing seemingly sour hamburgers flowering sandy lettuce follicles to molecularly protest major minor expansions of extradition against former wigs and tragicomic temperatures. Flags flatter friendly flumes framing forty fascinatingly formicating faucets flaming facades fantastically for fifty-four faintly foreseen decades. Disadvantageously different imports export various tangerines fabricating fake fluoride gum. Barrels integrate massive gravel monkeys causing giraffes to guard grand sized elephants and opossums strategically planning gravel nuisances to annoy yellow green blue red monkeys into stopping the integration of massive barrels of gravels causing the integration of giraffes. Spinning sombreros stipulate salmon sandwiches sticking indigenous segments soundly sounding sounds astoundingly sounding leaky shoes shoving simple gofers across chauffeur landing strips with lollipops and pistachio ice cream using wooden spores. Polar Bears invade igloos involving indigenous indigo dyes with yellow fleece with wool-laden fields incurring industrialization finances.

[color=#4040FF][b][size="7"]Closing[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Scytale[/i]
April Fool’s Day has come and gone and The Don’t Panic is not immune to the prank. It seems Dynasty snuck in a joke article masquerading as a real story. You guessed it; the cancellation of the Harmlin’s Accord was not real. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have cause (but not the confusion). See you next time, same time same channel. (Yeah right, we’ll be lucky if we ever get these out on time)

[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"] Staff Listing[/size][/b][/color]
Scytale, Editor in Chief, Chief fool, fool for taking the job of editor in chief
Pourquoi, Editor, Drunk fool, drank so much he couldn’t be editor in chief this time
Dynasty, Editor, Vogon fool, still pumping out those Vogon poetry
Shamshir, sub-editor, minor fool, stumbled into this edition and made a suggestion that we thought was a good idea.

[Not Henry Rollins]

You should charge money to read it. Great read.

[oOoMidooOo]

Another Great Issue .

well Written and organised .

Edited April 8, 2010 by oOoMidooOo

[Jack Diorno]

Damn.
You cancel on a lot of alliances that are losing wars.

[shahenshah]

lol, this one was a good read.

[Lord Fingolfin]

You got my hopes up with that cancellation

Good read

Edited April 8, 2010 by Lord Fingolfin

[FreddieMercury]

[quote name='Lord Fingolfin' date='08 April 2010 - 10:21 PM' timestamp='1270761659' post='2253388']
You got my hopes up with that cancellation

Good read
[/quote]

At first I was like: Oh shi

Then I was like:

[Kochers]

[quote name='scytale' date='08 April 2010 - 03:59 PM' timestamp='1270760335' post='2253364']
[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]
Cancellation of the Härmlin Accords[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Dynasty[/i]

Yes, I am sure you have already heard the news, After all, it was the major topic in every channel everywhere; the Härmlin Accords have been canceled! Many wonder how the uncancellable accords could have been canceled, but we’ll clear up the mess for you. First, Article two, section six of our Hitchhiker’s Code explicitly forbids treaties that may not be canceled, and thus, our court declared the accords unconstitutional! Even worse, at the same time, the Grämlins found a loophole in their codex, that states that every treaty can be amended by a simple agreement of the alliances it entails, unless otherwise prescribed. Thus, as they saw us taking different paths to peace in the world, they motioned for an amendment to add a cancellation clause that called for no warning. To make a long story short, the two occurred at nearly the same time, so whether you believe it was the MHA’s court order that voided it, or whether you believe it was the Grämlin’s codex is yours to decide; the only thing everyone can agree on, is that the accords are obviously void!
[/quote]
This made me happy until I read this:

[quote name='scytale' date='08 April 2010 - 03:59 PM' timestamp='1270760335' post='2253364']
[color=#4040FF][b][size="7"]Closing[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Scytale[/i]
April Fool’s Day has come and gone and The Don’t Panic is not immune to the prank. It seems Dynasty snuck in a joke article masquerading as a real story. You guessed it; the cancellation of the Harmlin’s Accord was not real. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have cause (but not the confusion). See you next time, same time same channel. (Yeah right, we’ll be lucky if we ever get these out on time)
[/quote]

But good read regardless.

[Omas Nams]

Damn MHA getting my hopes up :/

[joracy]

I think I officially hate MHA now April fools is bad enough, April fools on the 8th is worse.

[RustyNail]

[quote name='scytale' date='08 April 2010 - 02:59 PM' timestamp='1270760335' post='2253364']
[color=#4040FF][b][size="7"]Closing[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Scytale[/i]
April Fool’s Day has come and gone and The Don’t Panic is not immune to the prank. It seems Dynasty snuck in a joke article masquerading as a real story. You guessed it; the cancellation of the Harmlin’s Accord was not real. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have cause (but not the confusion). See you next time, same time same channel. (Yeah right, we’ll be lucky if we ever get these out on time)
[/quote]

Sigh...too much to hope for that MHA has finally gotten their head screwed on straight I suppose.

[steodonn]

[quote name='Jack Diorno' date='08 April 2010 - 10:14 PM' timestamp='1270761268' post='2253377']
Damn.
You cancel on a lot of alliances that are losing wars.
[/quote]

Read the whole post jack

[Kevin McDonald]

I will miss WCR.

For a long time, I associated MHA with Johnson, Denzin and WCR. I know those days are long passed, and the face of Bob, let alone MHA, has changed immeasurably since then, but those 3 will forever remain the heart and soul of the MHA that I came to love, and even protected me at one point.

MHAil WCR, you will be missed.

[supercoolyellow]

You posted a link to his farewell, adress, I spent 5 minutes to register an account on your forums to read it, and its not available to registered accounts


Also, if the Harmlins Accord is no more, does that mean its time for a new pip?

Edit: Son of a snitch! The harmilins cancellation is joke thread.

Edited April 8, 2010 by supercoolyellow

[SpectreTehDestroyer]

Good read and congrats.

[Tromp]

MHAil WCR!
You will be missed.

Also, congratulations to Pudge and the rest elected.

Edited April 8, 2010 by Tromp

[scytale]

[quote name='supercoolyellow' date='08 April 2010 - 06:43 PM' timestamp='1270766568' post='2253471']
You posted a link to his farewell, adress, I spent 5 minutes to register an account on your forums to read it, and its not available to registered accounts
[/quote]
I think you need to be masked at least above the initial account to see that thread. Ask to be masked as a diplomat.

Sorry for the frustration.

[AvengingAngel256]

Dangit Dynasty! You even got me with that joke! I read it and started freaking out like "Why the heck didn't I hear about this? ahhh!" lol
Great Issue (as always) besides that scytale.
WCR: I mean I said it all in your farewell thread in MHA, but you were [i]THE[/i] Hitchhiker. If you read this I wish you luck wherever you go, and know you'll always have a home in MHA.

[LiquidMercury]

[quote name='scytale' date='08 April 2010 - 03:59 PM' timestamp='1270760335' post='2253364']


[color=#8000FF][b][size="5"]Harmless Paradox[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Dynasty[/i]

This month we saw us cancel on our long time ally and friend, the Order of the Paradox. This cancellation was mostly brought on by TOP’s actions during the war, mainly those of aiding GGA nations, which we were at war with. Since then, relations between us have been deteriorating, and the recent cancellation of our treaty is just the latest piece of that deterioration. While we may no longer be allies and treaty partners, and while we may have many disagreements to resolve, I know many of us still have friends over in TOP, especially because of the large number of former Grämlins in TOP. As such, we wish them the best, and we hope that one day we may once again, be able to be friends.
[/quote]

By: LiquidMercury

This month we saw the treaty between MHA and TOP cancelled. MHA decided to declare on TOP's direct allies in a coalition war after lying about it to coalition members and TOP government. TOP, in it's arrogance, decided to aid the entire coalition so as to possibly extend their future and wartime coalition against insurmountable odds (that we absolutely brought against ourselves). While we may no longer be allies and treaty partners, and while we do have many disagreements which are unlikely to be resolved anytime soon, I know many of us were friends, once. Especially the large number of former Grämlins who built the relationship with MHA in their tenure at Grämlins and even helped write the treaty that can't be cancelled are now residing in TOP. Those same members took the knife in the back threw it on the ground and walked away. As such, this Ex-Gre member, this TOP member, this most stalwart of MHA lobbyists in all arenas and for awhile there one of their biggest recruiters (hey I got a lot of spam messages about alliances while #1) is absolutely most disappointed in you, whom I always called my brothers.

EDIT: grammar

Edited April 8, 2010 by LiquidMercury

[Vladimir Stukov II]

[quote name='LiquidMercury' date='09 April 2010 - 12:04 AM' timestamp='1270767858' post='2253492']
By: LiquidMercury

This month we saw the treaty between MHA and TOP cancelled. MHA decided to declare on TOP's direct allies in a coalition war after lying about it to coalition members and TOP government. TOP, in it's arrogance, decided to aid the entire coalition so as to possibly extend their future and wartime coalition against insurmountable odds (that we absolutely brought against ourselves). While we may no longer be allies and treaty partners, and while we do have many disagreements which are unlikely to be resolved anytime soon, I know many of us were friends, once. Especially the large number of former Grämlins who built the relationship with MHA in their tenure at Grämlins and even helped write the treaty that couldn't be cancelled are now residing in TOP. Those same members took the knife in the back threw it on the ground and walked away. As such, this Ex-Gre member, this TOP member, this most stalwart of MHA lobbyists in all arenas and for awhile there one of their biggest recruiters (hey I got a lot of spam messages about alliances while #1) is absolutely most disappointed in you, whom I always called my brothers.
[/quote]

Well written article.

Edited April 8, 2010 by Vladimir Stukov II

[bigwoody]

[quote name='LiquidMercury' date='08 April 2010 - 06:04 PM' timestamp='1270767858' post='2253492']
By: LiquidMercury

This month we saw the treaty between MHA and TOP cancelled. MHA decided to declare on TOP's direct allies in a coalition war after lying about it to coalition members and TOP government. TOP, in it's arrogance, decided to aid the entire coalition so as to possibly extend their future and wartime coalition against insurmountable odds (that we absolutely brought against ourselves). While we may no longer be allies and treaty partners, and while we do have many disagreements which are unlikely to be resolved anytime soon, I know many of us were friends, once. Especially the large number of former Grämlins who built the relationship with MHA in their tenure at Grämlins and even helped write the treaty that can't be cancelled are now residing in TOP. Those same members took the knife in the back threw it on the ground and walked away. As such, this Ex-Gre member, this TOP member, this most stalwart of MHA lobbyists in all arenas and for awhile there one of their biggest recruiters (hey I got a lot of spam messages about alliances while #1) is absolutely most disappointed in you, whom I always called my brothers.

EDIT: grammar
[/quote]
I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Also, I had to admit the late April Fools joke got me, as such a move would have made all too much sense.

[Triyun]

[quote name='LiquidMercury' date='09 April 2010 - 12:04 AM' timestamp='1270767858' post='2253492']
By: LiquidMercury

This month we saw the treaty between MHA and TOP cancelled. MHA decided to declare on TOP's direct allies in a coalition war after lying about it to coalition members and TOP government. TOP, in it's arrogance, decided to aid the entire coalition so as to possibly extend their future and wartime coalition against insurmountable odds (that we absolutely brought against ourselves). While we may no longer be allies and treaty partners, and while we do have many disagreements which are unlikely to be resolved anytime soon, I know many of us were friends, once. Especially the large number of former Grämlins who built the relationship with MHA in their tenure at Grämlins and even helped write the treaty that can't be cancelled are now residing in TOP. Those same members took the knife in the back threw it on the ground and walked away. As such, this Ex-Gre member, this TOP member, this most stalwart of MHA lobbyists in all arenas and for awhile there one of their biggest recruiters (hey I got a lot of spam messages about alliances while #1) is absolutely most disappointed in you, whom I always called my brothers.

EDIT: grammar
[/quote]

As chief negotiator and most tireless advocate of the Order at the End of the Universe Treaty and MHA relations in the NPO let me welcome you to the Jaded with MHA club.

[LiquidMercury]

[quote name='Triyun' date='08 April 2010 - 06:17 PM' timestamp='1270768622' post='2253519']
As chief negotiator and most tireless advocate of the Order at the End of the Universe Treaty and MHA relations in the NPO let me welcome you to the Jaded with MHA club.
[/quote]

Yah but you're NPO, your opinion doesn't matter

[Triyun]

[quote name='LiquidMercury' date='09 April 2010 - 12:21 AM' timestamp='1270768867' post='2253522']
Yah but you're NPO, your opinion doesn't matter
[/quote]

Forgive me, I forgot that we are the root of all evil.

[Valtamdraugr]

I got lost somewhere in the middle, but I did read that you gave Cable a job...oh you poor fools. <3