[Generalissimo]

In the ruins of Saint George City Generalissimo has called yet another a press conference, this media event could have been held a little closer to civilization but Generalissimo prefers the atmosphere of an abandoned city.

Generalissimo stands behind a podium next to a bullet-ridden car visibly holding a stack of folders clearly marked Classified: Procinctia Armed Forces Military Command analysis concerning Operation Connect Four, proposed operational directives for the proposed liquidation of Kaiser Martens.

“It’s been a month since any of anyone’s heard anything from me even on Procinctia Broadcasting Corporation transmissions; my relative inactivity has been perpetuating unsubstantiated rumors, speculation, and Wild Mass Guessing – I stand beofre today to set the record strait once and for all.

Once again there are only two rules today - if possible keep your clothes on and please refrain from attempting to kill me until after this media event, try not to abuse this freedom otherwise various security measures will be activated ensuring my survival and this conference will continue as scheduled. Pleas don't even bother taking turns asking questions, I’ll get around to most your inquires eventually.

Today’s press conference is not limited to people with media credentials; it’s also open to international personalities and other world leaders who undoubtedly want to know what I’ve been up to.

Addressing the topic at hand, the rumors are mostly true. . . all of them."

Generalissimo, Generalissimo of Procinctia

Ruins of Saint George City, Saint George Island

Out of Character Stuff: I’ve been mostly inactive for the past month or so, here long just enough to avoid being wiped yet not here enough to be a real part of the community.
I’m making it up to everyone with a fun game, ask about any rumor concerning Generalissimo’s whereabouts (or about Generalissimo himself) and he’ll explain how it’s mostly true.

This post has been edited by Generalissimo: 16 October 2009 - 10:20 PM

[Eggman Empire]

OOC:Oh, goody, your back! I missed the zaniness you brought to the forums

[Lynneth]

An Austrian reporter raised his hand.
"Is it true you wrecked havoc in an Austrian pie-factory after not being allowed to try out their apple pie?"

This post has been edited by Lynneth: 17 October 2009 - 04:37 AM

[Sargun]

"Is it true you did the entire September '09 Calendar harem?" Asked a Carthaginian reporter.

[Subtleknifewielder]

"Is it true that you were touring the Outback in Australia, were bitten by a rattlensake, and somehow the snake died instead of you?"

[KingChris]

"The statement that there was "no sex of any kind in any manner, shape or form, between Ms. Lewinsky and Generalissimo," was an utterly false statement. Is that correct?"

[Mergerberger II]

"Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?"

[Sarah Tintagyl]

Hanseatic girls all over the country are caught up in Generalissimo-fever. Many have posters in their room that look like this.



It is rumored that Lady Asgeirsson herself is a fan of who might possibly be, the most interesting man in the world.

[Razgriz 2K9]

OOC: The Dos Equis man....I'm a fan myself.

IC: Is it true that you beat Chuck Norris in every event you took part with him?

[Tahsir]

Is it true about you trying on your Ambassador's school uniform?

This post has been edited by Tahsir Re: 17 October 2009 - 05:54 PM

[Otto Verteidiger]

Is it true you've been too lazy to rebuild St. George since the last war between Procinctia and Republic of War?

[Vedran]

"I've heard a rumor that spies of unknown origin tried to kill you with exploding cigars. Is this true?"

"Is it true you've been playing in the Carthage Gridiron Football tournament under an assumed name but you quit because you suck at it?" - both questions by an anonymous reporter

This post has been edited by Vedran: 17 October 2009 - 06:55 PM

[Tahsir]

"Is it true you're really a spy for Kaiser Martens, and you've been pretending to be his greatest enemy?"

[Il Terra Di Agea]

"Are you really Kaiser Martens in disguise? I've never seen you two together in photos without one completely covered in something or other. It's all pretty damn suspicious!"

[Generalissimo]

Lynneth, on Oct 17 2009, 05:36 AM, said:

An Austrian reporter raised his hand.
"Is it true you wrecked havoc in an Austrian pie-factory after not being allowed to try out their apple pie?"

It was an appropriate response to a Dark Hand plot to deny Generalissimo apple pie.
The families have been compensated.

Sargun, on Oct 17 2009, 06:12 AM, said:

"Is it true you did the entire September '09 Calendar harem?" Asked a Carthaginian reporter.

Yes, Generalissimo did that with the entire September '09 Calendar harem - as well as their respective staffs and photographers. Although not necessarily at the same time, as commonly believed.

Subtleknifewielder, on Oct 17 2009, 04:32 PM, said:

"Is it true that you were touring the Outback in Australia, were bitten by a rattlensake, and somehow the snake died instead of you?"

Yes, my blood is surprisingly fatal to rattlensakes and goldfish.

KingChris, on Oct 17 2009, 04:59 PM, said:

"The statement that there was "no sex of any kind in any manner, shape or form, between Ms. Lewinsky and Generalissimo," was an utterly false statement. Is that correct?"

That is correct, Ms. Lewinsky is part of the aforementioned September '09 Calendar harem.

Mergerberger II, on Oct 17 2009, 05:13 PM, said:

"Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?"

Scolar Visari stole the cookie from the cookie jar.

Sarah Tintagyl, on Oct 17 2009, 05:13 PM, said:

Hanseatic girls all over the country are caught up in Generalissimo-fever. Many have posters in their room that look like this.

Little known fact, said poster is distributed by Generalissimo to rise additional finances for the Kiska Atka bounty.

Sarah Tintagyl, on Oct 17 2009, 05:13 PM, said:

It is rumored that Lady Asgeirsson herself is a fan of who might possibly be, the most interesting man in the world.

Lady Asgeirsson is an unapologetic Generalissimo fangirl who’s hording at least (if not more than) 1/5 of the world’s Generalissimo paraphernalia when she's not stalking Generalissimo.

Razgriz 2K9, on Oct 17 2009, 05:20 PM, said:

Is it true that you beat Chuck Norris in every event you took part with him?

I’ve beat Chuck Norris in every event we’ve taken part together, yet the only event so far has been table tennis.
Our last game was a two hundred hour long game of Ping-Pong on top of a burning blimp - Norris wants a rematch.

Tahsir Re, on Oct 17 2009, 06:53 PM, said:

Is it true about you trying on your Ambassador's school uniform?

It’s not the same uniform, Lisk’a wouldn’t fit, so my skirt is custom tailored.
It’s not a well known fact, but I’ve been attending classes regularly at Liska’s all-girl-school since she’s joined my administration.

Otto Verteidiger, on Oct 17 2009, 07:43 PM, said:

Is it true you've been too lazy to rebuild St. George since the last war between Procinctia and Republic of War?

I wouldn’t call it lazy per say, it’s just the result of extended procrastination and a lack of motivation. . . I’m sure I’ll get around to it eventually.
I’m not making excuses or anything, but if I rebuilt St. George where would I hold international press conferences?

This post has been edited by Generalissimo: 17 October 2009 - 10:50 PM

[Generalissimo]

Vedran, on Oct 17 2009, 07:50 PM, said:

"Is it true you've been playing in the Carthage Gridiron Football tournament under an assumed name but you quit because you suck at it?" - both questions by an anonymous reporter

I've been playing in the Carthage Gridiron Football tournament pseudonym Allissimo Gen, I had to quit because my rating was less than average from penalties provoked by exploding cigars.

Vedran, on Oct 17 2009, 07:50 PM, said:

"I've heard a rumor that spies of unknown origin tried to kill you with exploding cigars. Is this true?"

Spies have been trying to kill me will exploding cigars for year, but their origins aren't entirely unknown. I know exactly who where they come from. Here's a hint, it rhymes with Dransvaal.

Tahsir Re, on Oct 17 2009, 08:34 PM, said:

"Is it true you're really a spy for Kaiser Martens, and you've been pretending to be his greatest enemy?"

Am I a spy for Kaiser Martens?
You dare insinuate I’m sort of Nordista spy?
Do you know who I am?
I’ve been fighting Martens from the beginning.
! ! ! I’m Generalissimo, Generalissimo of ! ! !
I could have you shot, then killed, I could. . . who am I kidding?
I have been sharing intelligence with ‘Kaiser Martens’ for a long time.

Il Terra Di Agea, on Oct 17 2009, 09:54 PM, said:

"Are you really Kaiser Martens in disguise? I've never seen you two together in photos without one completely covered in something or other. It's all pretty damn suspicious!"

Kaiser Martens and I share a common identity, you’re right about that much
You have all the pieces yet you still assemble the puzzle incorrectly.
Kaiser Martens is and has always been a mask of Generalissimo.
I’m not Martens in disguise because Kaiser Martens, as you know him, does not exist.

This post has been edited by Generalissimo: 17 October 2009 - 10:46 PM

[Eggman Empire]

Is it true the Genshabi Pharmaceuticals Inc. uses your blood to treat diseases like smallpox, anthrax, bubonic plague, the Marburg virus, measles, mumps, rubella, rabies, West Nile virus, a many others?

[KaiserMelech Mikhail]

How do you stay so tan while you live in a Northern country?

[Tahsir]

Is it true that Santa Clause is really you in a red suit?

[Stefano Palmieri]

Subtleknifewielder, on Oct 18 2009, 08:32 AM, said:

"Is it true that you were touring the Outback in Australia, were bitten by a rattlensake, and somehow the snake died instead of you?"

OOC: No Rattlesnakes in Australia

IC: "Is it true that you went on a rampage in Northern Libya after finding out Alcohol is Illegal?" asked a Libyan Reporter.