Sir Paul Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 The Tabloid Tribune One Step Ahead of the Truth Since September 2003 Issue #148 - World Edition | Pacifican Edition __________ Secret Terms Prevent MK from Cancelling NPO PIAT MK instrument of surrender, written in invisible ink. Archon's House, Mushroom Kingdom: The Treaty of Green Mushrooms, the Peace, Intelligence and Aid Treaty between the Mushroom Kingdom and the New Pacific Order, has prevented war and strengthened the relationship between these two precocious alliances. However, during the Karma War, the Mushroom Kingdom informed the New Pacific Order that they would be canceling the treaty despite the fact that their brothers were in their time of greatest need. While notice was given, no official public cancellation notice was posted on the Open World Forum, which is required for the final dissolution. Many assumed that Archon and Bros were just lazy and that the treaty was dissolved without public notice. Many people are wrong. The fact is, the PIAT still stands because it is part of the secret surrender terms at the end of the War of the First Coalition. Written in invisible ink on nearly all Pacifican terms of surrender, countless alliances still have permanent terms hanging over them, and are honor bound to follow them. After securing the original document and using a complicated procedure involving lemon juice and heat, we found the following secret terms: -Bros admits that Mary is better at Scrabble.-MK shall sign a PIAT with the NPO, which can only be canceled when the Pacific deems the treaty has run its course or when a former NPO Imperial Officer is made Monarch and then goes all rebellion on the Order, as former officers are wont to do.-MK is never allowed to nuke the NPO. Ever. EVER. No, not even then. Ok, just six more nuclear wars, but that's it.-When the NPO walks by you can't pretend that you don't know who we are. That's just cold.-Bros needs to get a better radio show. There are not enough drugs in the world to make that entertaining. Since the instrument of surrender did not include having the NPO remove secret terms permanently applied to other alliances, the secret terms will guide the life of the Mushroom Kingdom for many years to come. There are also many, many other secret terms that the New Pacific Order is currently enforcing. Because they're secret and too terrible for the general population's mind to grasp, they are *CENSORED* and can only be viewed in the Pacifican Edition, which is located HERE. ----- Written by Sir Paul The Tabloid Tribune: One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ Karma violates MHA Sovereignty Like a Mormon ripping up a lesbian marriage certificate, Karma illegally voids MHA/NPO treaty Magrathea, Mostly Harmless Alliance: Signed at the height of MHA-NPO relations, the Order at the End of the Universe treaty, a wholly remarkable treaty, was a landmark document which sealed Alliance and Order relations for the long haul, especially with the famous Article IV which unequivocally stated where the allies stood. IV. Order at the End of the UniverseThis Pact shall preserve Order in Cybernations until the End of the Universe. Our relationship has been built over years of loyalty and multiple wars. This agreement shall not be cancelled except upon 1 year advance notice to the other, and is intended to survive as long as Cybernations survives. We have decided where we stand, and we stand together until the End of the Universe. While the two alliances has drifted somewhat apart, honor demands that they defend one another through the ages, however Karma decided that it had the legal authority to infringe upon MHA sovereignty by having the Pacificans dissolve the treaty and ignore the cancellation clause. While ignoring the cancellation clauses of treaties is something that comes lightly and commonly to many on the Karma side of the world, alliances such as the Mostly Harmless Alliance and the New Pacific Order firmly believe that honor cannot be suspended. While all acknowledge that Karma can require the Order to initiate the dissolution of the treaty in exchange for peace, it is impossible for the Order to ignore the one-year cancellation clause. Karma can march into the Palace of Friendship and tear up the document, but the honor and obligation cannot be destroyed. As such, the New Pacific Order has issued a Declaration of Defense. Until July 19 2010, any attack on the Mostly Harmless Alliance will be viewed as an attack upon the New Pacific Order. In a private meeting, Imperial Clerk Sir Paul told the MHA ambassador to the Order that he would "see [them] at the end of the Universe." An MHA spokesperson, when asked to comment on Karma's infringement of sovereignty on their treaty, muttered something about "what goes around comes around." ----- Written by Sir Paul The Tabloid Tribune: One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ PaulsLIST Ads Paul's List: Like Craigslist would be if it was PG-13 Springfield, SIR PAUL: With the media budget at an all-time low, the Tabloid Tribune will now be hosting personal ads. If you would like to place one, please send me a personal message for rates and content restrictions. ===LOVE CONNECTION=== Let's build an empire together Single red female seeks nation to join her "coalition of the willing." I was recently forced out of a long-term relationship and am currently paying off a large settlement to some real jerks. I seek someone who is looking to settle down and build an alliance together. Size, color, and religion don't matter, but loyalty and stamina do. If you're drifting around aimlessly, I'm medium-sized so there's room for us to grow together. I've got a lot of experience that matches well if you're older, but I'm very willing to teach some of you younger guys (or gals). Don't be afraid to stop by my place and chat for a bit. -Lady Pacifica ===SHOUT OUT=== A haiku for my good buddy Echelon: When I torture you I'll skip your hands so you may Sign your confession -Love, Karma Surrender Term #8 ===HEY YOU GUYS=== Dear World, I was sick but now I'm feeling much better. I thank Mary for looking after things while I was away, although she is not getting her cleaning deposit back on the Imperial Palace. It looks like the place was bombed or something. Anyway, I'm Emperor of the Order again, so just wanted you all to know. -Emperor Revenge ===== YOUR AD HERE - CONTACT SIR PAUL ===== ----- Written by Sir Paul The Tabloid Tribune: One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ Sir Paul's Sing-Along War Report #5 Yea, it's gonna be like that. Francograd, New Pacific Order - The Imperial Clerk has released his latest sing-along war report, which can be found . All sing-along war reports are available in this thread.----- Written by Sir Paul The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Death II Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 (edited) hmm interesting, also yay first! I wonder if its all true or just written for good entertainement purposes. :3 Edited July 27, 2009 by King Death II Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francesca Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 (edited) I really enjoy these. Oh, and the haiku was my favourite. Edited July 27, 2009 by Francesca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sileath Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 As such, the New Pacific Order has issued a Declaration of Defense. Until July 19 2010, any attack on the Mostly Harmless Alliance will be viewed as an attack upon the New Pacific Order. Beautiful Love the report, Sir Paul o/ Pacifica o/ NPO-MHA relations Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kulomascovia Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 I bet you guys used gallons of invisible ink! Also, can we advertise our alliance in your ads Sir Paul? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Paul Posted July 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 I bet you guys used gallons of invisible ink! Also, can we advertise our alliance in your ads Sir Paul? You sure can. Per the Original Post, please send me a private message (include your coldfront IRC nick and when you are likely to be on, Pacific Time, as well as what you'd like the content to be) and we'll work something out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeinousOne Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Damn, you are good at these. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kryievla Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 I loved it, fantastic job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnum T. Gundraw Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Dear Paul, No one gives a $%&@. Please make more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D34th Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Very nice, you nearly make me do not miss TWiP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunstar Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 (edited) I must say, well done. A most enjoyable read. Edited July 27, 2009 by Sunstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeta Defender Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 hmm interesting, also yay first! I wonder if its all true or just written for good entertainment purposes. :3 You know the Tabloid Tribune's motto: One Step Ahead of the Truth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCRABT Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Good job as always Sir Paul keep up the good work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believland Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 good read. I think this tribune is better than any propaganda piece in NPO's arsenal... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sequoia Throne Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Hilarious Sir Paul, as usual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorkingClassRuler Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 An MHA spokesperson, when asked to comment on Karma's infringement of sovereignty on their treaty, muttered something about "what goes around comes around." Not sure if this truth or creative story-telling but it wasn't an official response. In regards to the Declaration, if you're serious, then I think we'll need to discuss it with Karma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terveis Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 terkkulas people demand more. They are already rioting on my streets because they're own goverment cant produce anything nearly as good as this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Centurius Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Good read Looking forward to the next one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finster Baby Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Very entertaining, especially the Mary rules at Scrabble part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agnews Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 i enjoyed this good job sir paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Nukem Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 This was a good read paul. Keep up the good work . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenann Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 and Sir Paul does it again! We need moar, this whole peace thing may get boring with out such good reporting as this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebubu Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Loving these. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jens of the desert Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 You'd think the war wasn't over with NPO, with stuff like this coming out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin McDonald Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 No mention of the tech corps? I call shens. Another good read, as usual. Nice job, Sir Paul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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