[Vaal Satori]

http://www.newsweek....d/194886/page/1

Quote

Several pairs of eyes follow the girl as she pedals around the playground in an affluent suburb of Baltimore. But it isn't the redheaded fourth grader who seems to have moms and dads of the jungle gym nervous on this recent Saturday morning. It's the African-American man—six feet tall, bearded and wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt—watching the girl's every move. Approaching from behind, he grabs the back of her bicycle seat as she wobbles to a stop. "Nice riding," he says, as the fair-skinned girl turns to him, beaming. "Thanks, Daddy," she replies. The onlookers are clearly flummoxed.

As a black father and adopted white daughter, Mark Riding and Katie O'Dea-Smith are a sight at best surprising, and at worst so perplexing that people feel compelled to respond. Like the time at a Pocono Mountains flea market when Riding scolded Katie, attracting so many sharp glares that he and his wife, Terri, 37, and also African-American, thought "we might be lynched." And the time when well-intentioned shoppers followed Mark and Katie out of the mall to make sure she wasn't being kidnapped. Or when would-be heroes come up to Katie in the cereal aisle and ask, "Are you OK?"—even though Terri is standing right there.

...

"Let me just put it out there," says Mark, a 38-year-old private-school admissions director with an appealing blend of megaphone voice and fearless opinion, especially when it comes to his family. "I've never felt more self-consciously black than while holding our little white girl's hand in public." He used to write off the negative attention as innocent curiosity. But after a half-decade of rude comments and revealing faux pas—like the time his school's guidance counselor called Katie a "foster child" in her presence—he now fights the ignorance with a question of his own: why didn't a white family step up to take Katie?

Riding's challenge hints at a persistent social problem. "No country in the world has made more progress toward combating overt racism than [the United States]," says David Schneider, a Rice University psychologist and the author of "The Psychology of Stereotyping." "But the most popular stereotype of black people is still that they're violent. And for a lot of people, not even racist people, the sight of a white child with a black parent just sets off alarm signals."

...

The result is not only discomfort among whites at the thought of nonwhites raising their offspring; African-Americans can also be wary when one of their own is a parent to a child outside their race. Just ask Dallas Cowboys All-Pro linebacker DeMarcus Ware and his wife, Taniqua, who faced a barrage of criticism after adopting a nonblack baby last February. When The New York Times sports page ran a photo of the shirtless new father with what appeared to be a white baby in his arms (and didn't mention race in the accompanying story), it sent a slow shock wave through the African-American community, pitting supporters who celebrated the couple's joy after three painful miscarriages against critics who branded the Wares "self-race-hating individuals" for ignoring the disproportionate number of blacks in foster care. The baby, now their daughter, Marley, is in fact Hispanic. "Do you mean to tell me that the Wares couldn't have found a little black baby to adopt?" snarled one blogger on the Daily Voice, an online African-American newspaper.

I know a family friend who actually goes through this. He is black and had a child with a white woman, and his daughter then had a child with a white man. His granddaughter is a fourth black but everyone thinks she is white because she has blond hair and blue eyes. And now whenever he spends time with her in public people approach him with hostility, concerned about her safety.

So how do you guys feel about transracial adoptions such as the one outlined above? How would you react if you saw a black parent interacting with their white child? I'd like to think I would be accepting of it and wouldn't act out of prejudice. At the same time though I can understand how someone could think the worst by running through the various possibilities and ruling out the one that in their mind is the least likely. That's not an excuse to hassle the parents, but the reaction would not be coming from left field either. Regardless, this is evidence that we still have a long way to go regarding issues of race.

Also, I anticipate some people will argue that this couple shouldn't be adopting white children when there are plenty of black children who are in as much need. But to that I ask: why should the child's race matter? Children of one race are no less in need of a good home than those of another. And if there is no problem with white parents adopting minority children, which happens pretty frequently, then why should a double standard be imposed upon black parents?

Anyways, I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this.

[Natur Liefert]

I don't feel like there's a problem. Provided the family has enough love and kindness to give to the child, then I'll give them the same respect I give to my parents, or my friends parents. This little stereotype is going too far though, and I feel sorry for the two having to go through with all the negative comments.

[Otherworld]

I fail to see how this could be racist really.

It is common sense and curiosity to be concerned. A black child with white parents will gather the same amount of confused looks most likely with people just not understanding.

This post has been edited by Otherworld: 01 June 2009 - 09:59 AM

[El Pilchinator]

its unfortunate that they'd have to go through this at all. fact is that there's still the same racist stereotypes applied to blacks that are not applied to whites when it comes to this sort of thing.

curiosity is one thing, but expressing concern for the child's safety is something else entirely.

[Kenadian_2006]

It's easy to imagine why he would get such...attention, it's wrong but really only natural in our society today. Hopefully that will change. As for the football player and the people that were mentioned in the article as deriding them for not getting a black child, they're !@#$@#$ imbeciles.

[Dennis Von Bremen]

Wouldn't bother me to see the adoptive parents with a white child. They seem pretty nice.

Maybe if I saw someone like Lil Wayne taking care of a white child (or any child, for that matter) I would be concerned.

[Lackistan]

Meh, ignoring race is just an overcompensation, imo. As such, it is perfectly reasonable to be curious about a mixed-race parent/child.

But assuming danger/stereotypes is not acceptable.

[Czar Garrett]

A bit of an oddity to think about, even though I have 2 black adoptive cousins.

Although I rarely think of them as being black, merely as being my cousins.



As for immediate reactions, I might keep an eye out, given that most children look somewhat like their parents, but unless the child seemed to be in immediate danger or the situation was truly suspicious, IE- "Come here little girl, I have some candy," I highly doubt I'd get involved in any sort of way.



The general thought of interracial adoptions falls into the same thought I have on anyone wanting to adopt a child. Race, gender, sexual orientation, religion- it does not matter. So long as the parent(s) is/are financially and emotionally stable enough to care for the child, it's fine by me.

[Dennis Von Bremen]

The Observer, on Jun 1 2009, 11:52 AM, said:

Meh, ignoring race is just an overcompensation, imo. As such, it is perfectly reasonable to be curious about a mixed-race parent/child.

But assuming danger/stereotypes is not acceptable.

I think the reason why it doesn't bother me is because I am mixed race myself. Turk and German!!!

[NewPoseidon]

Kudos to Mark for adopting whoever the hell he wants to. I hope they walk by a teabagger rally just to piss some people off.

[Lackistan]

Dennis Von Bremen, on Jun 1 2009, 04:53 PM, said:

I think the reason why it doesn't bother me is because I am mixed race myself. Turk and German!!!

Heh, everyone is mixed race these days.

I'm Canadian/French/German/Something else, it seems.

[Lord GVChamp]

Don't have a problem with it, but can't say I wouldn't pay a second glance or two. With the amount of stories about abducted child in the media these days, can't be surprised people are being suspicious about it.

[Eagare the Alenthin]

Doesn't really matter, if you ask me.

[edikroma]

I think the question to ask would be, would a white couple with a black adopted child be approached as much as a black couple with a white adopted child? Personally, I would say no. And it doesn't have to do necessarily with racism, as it does with the probability. I would say, from my experience, that there are simply more black children adopted by white parents than there are white children adopted by black parents. Thus, it takes you a little longer to connect the dots with the second situation.

As for the entire approaching people with concerns about the child's safety...I'd hope that people would approach a suspicious situation when a child is involved, regardless of the color or gender of the person. For example, if a creepy white lady was staring at a child, or trying to get her to come to the car, etc, I'd hope people would still step in and ask questions.

[Gustave5436]

The Observer, on Jun 1 2009, 09:52 AM, said:

Meh, ignoring race is just an overcompensation, imo.

Ignoring things which do not exist is simply rational, I don't see what it could be overcompensating for.

[Smallfrog]

Gustave5436, on Jun 1 2009, 08:56 PM, said:

Ignoring things which do not exist is simply rational, I don't see what it could be overcompensating for.

Noting what race someone is and discriminating on that basis are two different things.


For example, I recognise that the Iranian family round here are not caucasians. It does not mean I treat them any differently. To not notice would be being blind, and deliberately not noticing is irrational.

[BlackKnight]

The Observer, on Jun 1 2009, 11:55 AM, said:

Heh, everyone is mixed race these days.

I'm Canadian/French/German/Something else, it seems.

Surprisingly, not I. I am a full-blooded Arab. Now, certainly, Iraq has been a state that has been conquered and passed to one another for many, many millenniums, so there is that slight possibility of me having some foreign blood in me, although I'm certain it would be less than 5%.

Some do say that I look Mexican, Italian, or Spanish, so maybe more than 5%. But nevertheless, though, our family tree goes back so many, many generations and all are full blooded Iraqi Arabs.

Alright, enough of myself. I just went on a novel-spree about my race, my bad folks lol.

[Dennis Von Bremen]

BlackKnight, on Jun 1 2009, 03:33 PM, said:

Surprisingly, not I. I am a full-blooded Arab. Now, certainly, Iraq has been a state that has been conquered and passed to one another for many, many millenniums, so there is that slight possibility of me having some foreign blood in me, although I'm certain it would be less than 5%.

Some do say that I look Mexican, Italian, or Spanish, so maybe more than 5%. But nevertheless, though, our family tree goes back so many, many generations and all are full blooded Iraqi Arabs.

Alright, enough of myself. I just went on a novel-spree about my race, my bad folks lol.

You know... Turks used to own Iraq for a pretty long time. Maybe you are part Turkish?

[Arcturus Jefferson]

Smallfrog, on Jun 1 2009, 04:15 PM, said:

Noting what race someone is and discriminating on that basis are two different things.


For example, I recognise that the Iranian family round here are not caucasians. It does not mean I treat them any differently. To not notice would be being blind, and deliberately not noticing is irrational.

Aren't non-arabic Iranians caucasian (in the sense of being white) though?

It's all a bit silly, though I really feel for the family in the OP. I hope I can be smart and compassionate enough not to do anything like ask the children if they're being abducted.

[Aeternos Astramora]

(I only skimmed the article because I read it a while back.)

I don't find anything wrong with interracial adoptions.

This instance also isn't necessarily racist. Black people obviously can't have white children, so if you see a guy watching a little white girl, you might get worried. That's not racist. If anybody decides to bring up that people don't get worried when a white man watches a black kid, from what I understand, colored children with with white parents are much more common than the opposite, so it's understandable why some people would be worried.