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Lord Voldemort, on behalf of the Libertarian Socialist Federation
It has come to our attention here in the glorious LSF, that you, NoV, have been attacking our nations for some time now. While it is clear here that nobody has laughed so hard in a long time and that "serious lulz" has become synonymous with "Norden Verein", we think it best for your own safety, that you desist with immediacy.
We are a gracious alliance and so, our terms of your surrender are accordingly beneficent with respect to your crimes. We must stress that, while on the battlefield many of of our brave comrades may shout "Eat s***, you f***ing Nazi scum!", this is exactly the sentiment that wedon't want to get across.
As follows are our frugal terms:
1) NoV are to pay, in any currency they wish, to the LSF, the sum of 900 billion dollars - Now, much of this is for reparations, but also some of us laughed so hard on being informed of your attacks that they were physically injured (three counts of physical injury by table and one minor count of spleen rupture). Although the money you will send is not real, it shall be sent to the corresponding nations to make up for time lost in the hospital/toilet.
2) NoV must make a formal apology to the LSF - Not only for causing a ruckus here, but also for making babies cry when passing them in the street. The only alternative to this is for each NoV member to wear a bag over their head.
3) Nov must publicly admit "Inappropriate, callous and aggressive action leading to the distress of many" - If those words are too complicated for some of you, we have kindly translated the declaration - "You were acting like t***s".
4) Now, despite the fact that Kaiser Marten's parents were obviously brother and sister, we do not hold that against him. Nor do we judge him for having the urge to "force" himself on sheep when nobody is looking. We do not condone these traits, but we believe that everyone is equal. However, as part of the surrender terms, NoV is to publicly declare Kaiser Marten to be unfit for duty at his post, perhaps, as some would say, because "He has his head right up his big fat a***."
5) NoV must disband permanently and all leaders must delete their nations or face anhilation - This is perhaps a bit harsh on our part, but I am so drunk right now that I frankly don't give a damn.
It has come to our attention here in the glorious LSF, that you, NoV, have been attacking our nations for some time now. While it is clear here that nobody has laughed so hard in a long time and that "serious lulz" has become synonymous with "Norden Verein", we think it best for your own safety, that you desist with immediacy.
We are a gracious alliance and so, our terms of your surrender are accordingly beneficent with respect to your crimes. We must stress that, while on the battlefield many of of our brave comrades may shout "Eat s***, you f***ing Nazi scum!", this is exactly the sentiment that we
As follows are our frugal terms:
1) NoV are to pay, in any currency they wish, to the LSF, the sum of 900 billion dollars - Now, much of this is for reparations, but also some of us laughed so hard on being informed of your attacks that they were physically injured (three counts of physical injury by table and one minor count of spleen rupture). Although the money you will send is not real, it shall be sent to the corresponding nations to make up for time lost in the hospital/toilet.
2) NoV must make a formal apology to the LSF - Not only for causing a ruckus here, but also for making babies cry when passing them in the street. The only alternative to this is for each NoV member to wear a bag over their head.
3) Nov must publicly admit "Inappropriate, callous and aggressive action leading to the distress of many" - If those words are too complicated for some of you, we have kindly translated the declaration - "You were acting like t***s".
4) Now, despite the fact that Kaiser Marten's parents were obviously brother and sister, we do not hold that against him. Nor do we judge him for having the urge to "force" himself on sheep when nobody is looking. We do not condone these traits, but we believe that everyone is equal. However, as part of the surrender terms, NoV is to publicly declare Kaiser Marten to be unfit for duty at his post, perhaps, as some would say, because "He has his head right up his big fat a***."
5) NoV must disband permanently and all leaders must delete their nations or face anhilation - This is perhaps a bit harsh on our part, but I am so drunk right now that I frankly don't give a damn.
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