nishiyoshi_mha Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 Hi everyone, after the surprising lack of vitriol hurled our way this past week, I thought it was "Prime" time to make what will be one of our last few splashy announcements for the year. (whisper whisper) What do you mean? Prime day is already passed? I'm making bad / late jokes no one will get again? Anyways, I wanted to invite you to our abbreviated retelling of MHA- A Christmas Story to celebrate Christmas in July. (whisper whisper) What do you mean I can't call it Christmas? That glowing Starbucks on the corner is still handing out red cups. Whatever, feel free to substitute holiday of preference or just other random day if you do not acknowledge my cultural appropriation or the commericalification of Christmas. *It's a blistering 95F outside due to heat from all the fires burning and the reflected heat from the nuclear clouds above. Old man nishiyoshi has rationed power to the office building so people make due with paper fans and there is no AC.* Nishiyoshi, "Bob, I don't know why you would ever be named after this forsaken place! What is taking you so long with those nation audits? You know what, I don't care. You are fired!" Bob, "But sir, I need this job to be able to take advantage of all the specials from prime day." Nishiyoshi, "Too bad, so sad for you. I expect you gone by the end of the day, and stop smiling, and it is easy to be green." *fade to late evening, green glow through office window Nishiyoshi, "Buying tech with cash instead of stockpiling warchests or dealing? Broken trade circles? Are people animals?" "I'm getting dizzy from all this heat and radiation. What’s the GRL? Ugh, I need to head to the fallout shelter..." *Nishiyoshi collapses to ground. *Fade to misty road outside* "Nishiyoshi, I'm the ghost of Christmas Past, my name is Qldvespanut. You have been brought back to 2011 when you were in charge of the MHA Radio. Do you remember this event?' *Fade to excited IRC and voice chat when XX was under development and signing.* “I do remember. This was such an exciting time. Ego, Yeru, Myth before he went crazy, Crush, AA, 905, Tulak, so many names… It was planned for a May 4th drop. Everyone was nerdy about the Star Wars reference. I got to announce it shortly after it happened on air. It was so great to be able to go to Fark’s forums and see the dedicated XX section. JRV ended up taking out Myth in the next election, but he snuck back in the back door a month later before everyone in MHA had enough of him, haha. It really did kick off the golden age for MHA. I loved being part of that and wearing our red to continue that legacy… Why did you bring me here?” “Nishiyoshi, don’t you see the importance of community? People come and people will go, but it is in these connections that we can keep things driving forward. I’m just the first of the people visiting you this evening and we will see each other again very soon…” *Green fog rises from the ground and the set is replaced with a scene of a war at the front lines Unnamed soldier yells into radio, “What do you mean we can’t send in a nuke? When did you declare? 23:01 yesterday? What were you thinking? We’re out-teched and getting hammered with a double dose of cruise missiles and bombing runs. You want us to wait for a quad? Our boys at home are sitting ducks since you deployed max troops already. *$&*@$ I’m going to send our spies out to gather intel twice then just to screw you, too. I don’t believe it, someone else already burned spy ops today… we’re just going to have to sit and look at our navels then.” A booming voice comes through the clouds above, “Nishiyoshi, do you remember me?” “Doogan, is that really you?” “I see that your age hasn’t taken your memory. I am the ghost of Christmas present, and at present, there are over a thousand wars that have taken place in the last few weeks alone. The community has rallied and banded together in ways no one could have ever imagined.” “But Doogan, this is a suicide mission, and we’re just trying to hold on to what little we have left. No one actually expects us to do anything, and we don’t need to do anything since we’ve allowed the treaty web to become more twisted than Elon Musk having his dad be the father to Elon’s step-nephew and step-niece.” “All it takes for evil to win is for good people to sit around and do nothing. It’s a stupid saying, but it’s also thermodynamics. We’ll end up in disorder or dat’order unless we at least try to fight it.” “So which of the orders are you ‘dis’sing that we’ll get absorbed into?” “That was a bad dad joke that needs to get put into ‘dis’cord”. ***Doogan’s voice gets more and more faint as the scene changes again to a barren wasteland with a few piles of rocks In a voice just above a whisper a cloaked figure floats towards Nishiyoshi, “I’m the last ghost visiting you tonight. I’m the ghost of Christmas future. You decided not to act and now this is all that is left of Bob and MHA.” “Ghost, who are you, and isn’t this a good thing? Shouldn’t we want for the plug to finally get pulled?” The cloaked figure lowers its hood revealing a mirror reflecting Nishiyoshi back at himself. ***The scene clears and Nishiyoshi awakens in his office. The sun is rising and there’s an eerie break in the clouds with rays making their way through the solitary window that isn’t boarded up. Nishiyoshi jumps to his feet and rushes to the phone, “Bob, I need you back in the office today. I’m sorry about yesterday and I’m going to empty the coffers to give you all the resources you need. We’ve been saving money for far too long. It’s time to dust off the codes for the hidden nuclear missile silos, order 1,000 cruise missiles, and rally the troops. I know we won’t be able to find all the hitchhikers since most of them are at the far reaches of the galaxy, but there are at least two that I know are here and at the ready. Let’s get on the horn and formally tell the coalition that we’re in and are going to be declaring our first war in years… we’re going in on… Doom Wolves and Doom Squad. Let’s go and might as well set fire to this place ourselves versus just waiting for the building to collapse on itself.” I do miss this flag tl;dr - MHA declares on Doom Wolves and Doom Squad in support of FTW and NATO. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. Towels on fire. Signed: Triumvir - Nishiyoshi Triumvir - Qldvespanut Triumvir - Doogan (yes, he’s back) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A1ph4 0m3ga Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 o/ MHA Welcome to battlefield! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyanna Mormont Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 6 minutes ago, nishiyoshi_mha said: tl;dr - MHA declares on Doom Wolves and Doom Squad in support of FTW and NATO. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. Towels on fire. Thank you for this, thank you. Congratulations on your DoW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canik Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 Towels on fire!! Thanks for the support MHA! We're making CN on fire again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gh0s7 Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 Lol, this is just kind of sad, but I expect nothing less from MHA. I'll have fun wailing on you guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Hershey Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 Welcome to the battlefield, MHA, let us parry, shall we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janax Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 I expected nothing, and was still disappointed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathAdder Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 Didn't think we'd see anyone more asleep than Sparta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nishiyoshi_mha Posted July 18, 2022 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 47 minutes ago, Gh0s7 said: Lol, this is just kind of sad, but I expect nothing less from MHA. I'll have fun wailing on you guys Lol, ikr? This is the type of response I've been waiting for, I hope you keep them coming. 38 minutes ago, Lord Hershey said: Welcome to the battlefield, MHA, let us parry, shall we? Looking forward to it. Always a good time. 23 minutes ago, janax said: I expected nothing, and was still disappointed. You must live in the nowhere nebula. It's halfway to everywhere. I don't expect you to get this joke. 17 minutes ago, DeathAdder said: Didn't think we'd see anyone more asleep than Sparta. You must be getting a bad memory in your old age and don't remember how sleepy MHA rolls. I just wish you spent 0.0001% of your post effort on actual announcements. It would help keep things more interesting. But then again your MO is to keep things as boring as possible so I guess I understand. You're a deadly snake and I'm just a friendly dinosaur from the west. Side topic, back in the day I thought you were a play on the comedy troupe Blackadder, but then definitely saw your lack of humor, so realized it was just 100% venom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathAdder Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 5 minutes ago, nishiyoshi_mha said: You must be getting a bad memory in your old age and don't remember how sleepy MHA rolls. I just wish you spent 0.0001% of your post effort on actual announcements. It would help keep things more interesting. But then again your MO is to keep things as boring as possible so I guess I understand. You're a deadly snake and I'm just a friendly dinosaur from the west. Side topic, back in the day I thought you were a play on the comedy troupe Blackadder, but then definitely saw your lack of humor, so realized it was just 100% venom. I mean, why would I bother? None of you are interesting enough to make a worthy announcement towards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerdge Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 I don't care about the declaration, but if it's necessary to have this kind of humor, then so be it. Still love you, Hitchhikers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janax Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 10 minutes ago, nishiyoshi_mha said: You must live in the nowhere nebula. It's halfway to everywhere. I don't expect you to get this joke. When I left MHA back before your nation existed, I took with me almost as many nations as MHA currently has. I know where there "Nowhere Nebula" is...it's in the midst of the Mostly Useless Alliance. A solid 12% of members are part of the Trium. Sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Einer Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 Dear lord, I hope my opponents fare better on their witty repartee than they do on their warchests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dev0win Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 (edited) I for one am very impressed that someone still has the creativity for a 1185 word DoW. And further let us all embrace the bold and encourage activity. o/ MHA o/ Nishiyoshi Edited July 18, 2022 by dev0win Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathAdder Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 39 minutes ago, DeathAdder said: I mean, why would I bother? None of you are interesting enough to make a worthy announcement towards. 13 minutes ago, dev0win said: Case in point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeroofTime55 Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 1 hour ago, DeathAdder said: Didn't think we'd see anyone more asleep than Sparta. You mean on our side? Fair enough, but none of us can hold a candle to Pacifica. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nishiyoshi_mha Posted July 18, 2022 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 1 hour ago, DeathAdder said: I mean, why would I bother? None of you are interesting enough to make a worthy announcement towards. That's the irony. Why are you still playing the game and posting on here? We shouldn't even be worth your time, except here you are? (You'll respond to this because you know you love this aspect of things) 1 hour ago, janax said: When I left MHA back before your nation existed, I took with me almost as many nations as MHA currently has. I know where there "Nowhere Nebula" is...it's in the midst of the Mostly Useless Alliance. A solid 12% of members are part of the Trium. Sad. You definitely didn't get the joke and it's okay. How do you know I didn't re-roll because of all the drama with you, rusty and crew? Regardless, I have a lot of respect that you were able to keep an eye out for Argent all these years. The true disappointment is that it doesn't seem like you realize that I'm doing the same for MHA. I also think you missed the point of what it means to be a hitchhiker at heart since you really only were around for a year. Power definitely corrupted a lot of leaders through the years, but they all left. MHA remains, especially through those it touched, yourself included. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nishiyoshi_mha Posted July 18, 2022 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 1 hour ago, jerdge said: I don't care about the declaration, but if it's necessary to have this kind of humor, then so be it. Still love you, Hitchhikers. Jerdge, that always goes both ways. I'm channeling more zaphod these days than Ford Prefect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dev0win Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 40 minutes ago, DeathAdder said: Case in point. I demand respect for my top of the line, high production value, well planned out graphics. If you don't validate me I might get really sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathAdder Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 (edited) 21 minutes ago, nishiyoshi_mha said: That's the irony. Why are you still playing the game and posting on here? We shouldn't even be worth your time, except here you are? (You'll respond to this because you know you love this aspect of things) Enjoying the Pacifican community, which I serve, is worth my time. It frankly isn't my job (or any other Pacifican) to entertain your memberships. The fact you have to beg other alliances to entertain your members shows the poor quality of leadership within each individual AA that expects such things. It's why the majority of you have failed as individual communities and is also why, three hours into your announcement of war, you have only managed to field ~three individuals. Edited July 18, 2022 by DeathAdder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathAdder Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 9 minutes ago, dev0win said: I demand respect for my top of the line, high production value, well planned out graphics. If you don't validate me I might get really sad MS Paint style memes really only serves to make me miss Auctor and his stick figure comics. Alas, even he got bored of the rest of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dev0win Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 1 minute ago, DeathAdder said: MS Paint style memes really only serves to make me miss Auctor and his stick figure comics. Alas, even he got bored of the rest of you. I love the gaslighting here. Pacifica won't allow a war but then WE are the boring ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathAdder Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, dev0win said: I love the gaslighting here. Pacifica won't allow a war but then WE are the boring ones. Haven't we all been warring for short of a month now? You should really stop confusing your lack of testicular fortitude for us doing anything to stop you. Your coalition legit needed a teenaged girl holding your hand in order for you to do something. Lyanna and Legion are the only currently involved parties who have any form of earned respect. Edited July 18, 2022 by DeathAdder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dev0win Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 (edited) 3 minutes ago, DeathAdder said: Haven't we all been warring for short of a month now? You should really stop confusing your lack of testicular fortitude for us doing anything to stop you. I'm so sick of your inability to acknowledge my works. I stepped up from MS paint to an animated picture just for you dear. And we started the war without a specific blessing which is why we are here isn't it? Edited July 18, 2022 by dev0win Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathAdder Posted July 18, 2022 Report Share Posted July 18, 2022 (edited) 49 minutes ago, dev0win said: I'm so sick of your inability to acknowledge my works. I stepped up from MS paint to an animated picture just for you dear. And we started the war without a specific blessing which is why we are here isn't it? No. Your lack of informing us simply got you cancelled as a treaty. Pacifica is warring to defend our non-cancelled treaties after Oculus, as a bloc with Supremacy Clause, voted to go in. Outside of willful denial, I don't know why you keep failing to understand this. Edited July 18, 2022 by DeathAdder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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