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http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=121509

Article VI. New Membership

 

If a prospective new member applies to the gym, all current settlement parties must agree on their membership before they can be admitted.

 
Announcer: Tired of the same old you? Tired of being out of shape and out of luck with the opposite sex? Tired of being overweight and under-attractive?
 
Artigo: Yeah! Oh, hello. I'm Artigo, Owner, Operator, and Founder of PECS Gym America Corp, and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be stuck with what ya got.
 
[Cut to actor lifting weights.]
 
Artigo: Here at PECS Gym, we understand that "Ugliness" and "Fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.
 
Artigo: [climbing on the rocky wall; grunts] And that's where we come in. [evil laughter]
 
Artigo: PECS Gym employs a highly-trained, quasi-cultural staff of personal alterational specialists. And with our competitively-priced on-site cosmetic surgery, we can turn that Frankenstein you see in the mirror every morning into a Franken-fine!
 
Artigo: [wheels out a bandaged-like-a-mummy person in a wheelchair] Of course you'll still be you in a legal sense, but think of it as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us. How do I know? Well, I'm not only the founder of PECS Gym. I'm also a client.
 
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Artigo: That's me. Six years and 600 pounds ago... before I knew how much I hated myself. But that all changed once I founded PECS Gym. But don't just take my word for it. Listen to these PECS Gym members tell you how it is.
 
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Signatories:

 

 

Doombird Doomcave

CubaQuerida - Angel of Death

TBRaiders - Wingman of Allarchon

Tayloj - Bunny King

Artigo - Powerlifting Champion of DBDC

Timmehhh - Minister of Wealth Redistribution

 

Doom Squad

Hapa - Alpha

Ghost - Beta

Gator - Delta

Caliph - Sentinel

Hershey - Champion of Doom

 

The Order of the Paradox

Salajol, Grandmaster

Bob Ilyani, Grand Chancellor

King Brandon, Grand Hospitaller

 

Swash Plates and Tail Rotors

Untouchable - Security Council

Nashorn - Security Council

Sgt Gus - Security Council

 

Kaskus

Lord Bitburg - President

GantanX - Vice President

Unknown Smurf - Minister of Foreign Affairs

Baby Fark McGeezaX - Minister of Internal Affairs

Edited by hapapants
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