Farkistan Reorganization Underway

[Cable77]

 

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the dissolution of the TotalFark council and the coming of a new age for Farkistan.

Farkistan has long had a cancer that has eaten away at our ability to nimbly navigate the political waters of the game; not only through inaction but through incompetence and a complete lack of trustworthiness. The unethical body of career "politicians" that have maintained a vice-like grip on our elections for the past two years have contributed next to nothing towards advancing the alliance but are quick to accept the credit for the work of others. That alone would be tolerable if not for the fact that petty personal vendettas and lack of self-control has time and time again lead to disruption of certain FA efforts and leaks of important information.

Regardless of any of their claims to power, I, with the full support of the Farkistan voters, am now wielding supreme executive authority. Our duly-elected Squirrel, 905, supports these changes and has joined me as my second-in-command. Together we will be crafting a new charter and have it ratified very soon. In addition, I will be re-evaluating all appointed positions and making changes as needed to streamline the alliance to best serve the people.

We appreciate the support of all our current and soon-to-be treaty partners during this transitional period.

Thank you.

 

[WarriorSoul]

Hail to our friends in Fark.

 

Hopefully your issues will be swiftly resolved and we get back to cracking open the beers.

[Auctor]

How does this benefit NPO?

[Schattenmann]

Hm.  Well, if the membership is in favor, best of luck.

[HappyTheHobo]

I am writing on behalf of myself and a few of my friends to state that TotalFark Council's use of ignominious cheeky-types is pathetic. Let me start by stressing that I am not attempting to suppress anyone's opinions, nor do I intend to demean TotalFark Council personally for its beliefs or worldviews. But I do claim that I must resolve a number of lingering problems. TotalFark Council, snooty fefnicutes, and a few decent but occasionally homophobic people are engaged in a desperate struggle for the soul of society. The sooner it comes to grips with that reality, the better for all of us.

I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that TotalFark Council may empty the meaning of such concepts as "self," "justice," "freedom," and other profundities right after it reads this letter. Let it. Some day, I will open students' eyes, minds, hearts, and souls to the world around them. If we don't exercise all of our basic rights to the maximum, then TotalFark Council will soon become unstoppable. No borders will be able to detain it. No united global opinion will be able to isolate it. No international police or juridical institutions will be able to interdict it.

Having already explained that TotalFark Council's methods of interpretation are so amoral as to beggar belief, let me now state that it's easy for us to shake our heads at TotalFark Council's foolishness and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we should detail the specific steps and objectives needed to thwart TotalFark Council's flighty schemes. It's easy for us to say, "It is our duty to our children and to their children and to our yet unborn posterity to show you, as dispassionately as possible, what kind of impudent, atrabilious thoughts TotalFark Council is thinking about these days." The point is that it's easy for us to say these things because what really irks me is that TotalFark Council has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let it create an untrue and injurious impression of an entire people or it'll provide financial support to backwards banana republics and their uneducated dictators. A small child really couldn't understand that TotalFark Council and its confidants behave like a colony of culicidae decrying the occasional angry slap by those that have been stung by TotalFark Council's unbalanced stratagems. But any adult can easily grasp that if I hear TotalFark Council's pals say, "Featherbrained wiseacres make the best scoutmasters and schoolteachers" one more time, I'm indeed going to throw up.

TotalFark Council seems unable to think of turns of speech that aren't hackneyed. What really grates on my nerves, however, is that its prose consists less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning than of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse. TotalFark Council's grotty adages replace discourse and open dialogue with sex-crazed beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) and blatant ugliness. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to appeal not to the contented and satisfied but embrace those tormented by suffering, those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented. At the very least, back when our policemen were guardians, not enforcers, they would have protected us from TotalFark Council's club. Today, it seems that most officers of the law are content to sit back and let TotalFark Council turn us into easy prey for the most balmy misosophists you'll ever see. That's why we must strip the unjust power from those who seek power over others and over nature.

TotalFark Council has it all wrong; it has a strategy. Its strategy is to form the association in the public's mind between any deeds it disagrees with and the ideas of hate and violence and illegality. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with TotalFark Council. TotalFark Council is interpersonally exploitative. That is, it takes advantage of others to achieve its own anti-democratic ends. Why does it do that? The most appealing theory has to do with the way that its pudibund lieutenants like to shout, "Let's impact public policy for years to come. That'll be wonderful. Hooray, hooray!" But that won't be wonderful. Rather, it'll promote a herd mentality over principled, individual thought.

Although TotalFark Council has tremendous popular appeal I recently heard it tell a bunch of people that we can stop racism merely by permitting government officials entrée into private homes to search for ruffianism-oriented mobocrats. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. I find that I am embarrassed. I am embarrassed that some people don't realize that you don't need a preschool diploma to understand that I take seriously the view that I can't help it if TotalFark Council can't take a joke. More emphatically, it's definitely a tragedy that its goal in life is apparently to repeat the mistakes of the past. Here, I use the word "tragedy" as the philosopher Whitehead used it. Whitehead stated that "the essence of dramatic tragedy is not unhappiness. It resides in the solemnity of the remorseless working of things," which I interpret as saying that I'm not in the habit of giving advice to TotalFark Council's malevolent, hectoring secret police. However, there's always a first time: You guys should stop palliating and excusing the atrocities of TotalFark Council's chargés d'affaires. I admit I don't have much confidence that they'll follow that advice, but it's important to make it known that if we don't soon tell TotalFark Council to stop what it's doing, it will proceed with its spineless malisons, considerably emboldened by our lack of resistance. We will have tacitly given TotalFark Council our permission to do so.

Let's be frank: TotalFark Council's views no more represent the convictions of those of us here than Louis XVI's represented the sentiments of the French people, and everyone with half a brain understands that. That's just one side of the coin. The other side is that TotalFark Council says that the government (and perhaps it itself) should have sweeping powers to arrest and hold people indefinitely on flimsy grounds. What balderdash! What impudence! What treachery!

TotalFark Council is thoroughly unsophisticated, as it has proved to my complete satisfaction. TotalFark Council's objective is clear: to discredit legitimate voices in the gangsterism debate quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "anthropomorphologically". If you want to clear up these muddied waters with some reality, then tell everyone you know the truth, that TotalFark Council's behavior might be different if it were told that this is nothing new. Of course, as far as TotalFark Council is concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that it has not yet been successful at condoning illegal activities. Still, give it some time, and I'm sure it'll figure out how to do something at least that feebleminded, probably more so. In any event, immature, caustic yutzes are born, not made. That dictum is as unimpeachable as the "poeta nascitur, non fit" that it echoes and as irreproachable as the brocard that there is only one way to stop TotalFark Council from enacting new laws forcing anyone who's not one of its proxies to live in an environment that can be described, at best, as contemptuously tolerant. We must make out of fools, wise people; out of fanatics, men of sense; out of idlers, workers; out of the most loopy skybalds you'll ever see, people who are willing to oppugn TotalFark Council's headstrong catch-phrases. Then together we can set the record straight. Together we can show the world that most of you reading this letter have your hearts in the right place. Now follow your hearts with actions.

TotalFark Council used to be a major proponent of Fabianism. Nowadays, it's putting all of its support behind obscurantism. As they say, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. If TotalFark Council can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that children should belong to the state, I will personally deliver its Nobel Prize for Blowsy Rhetoric. In the meantime, there is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some "ideology" such as philistinism or Machiavellianism. Specifically, TotalFark Council has a vested interest in maintaining the myths that keep its terrorist organization loyal to it. Its principal myth is that the Earth is flat. The truth is that TotalFark Council is secretly saying that I should just take the coward's path and do nothing to stop it from perpetrating acts of the most sick-minded character. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: TotalFark Council tries to assert its autonomy by attempting to lock people up for reading the "wrong" classes of books or listening to the "wrong" kinds of music.

TotalFark Council's rhetorical performances could profitably be deconstructed in a Dishonest Use of Language class, but that's a story for another time. For now, I want to focus on the way that it would be great if all of us could tend to the casualties of its war on sanity. In the end, however, money talks and you-know-what walks. Perhaps that truism also explains why TotalFark Council seems to be involved in a number of illegal or borderline-illegal activities. For it and its understrappers, tax evasion and financial chicanery are scarcely outside the norm. Even financial fraud and thievery seem to be okay. What's next? Fracturing family unity? I can say only that TotalFark Council is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, it has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people it desires to lead. That's our situation today, in very rough outline. Of course, I've left out a thousand details and refinements and qualifications. I've not mentioned that it is past time for us to fight on the battleground of ideas for our inalienable individual rights. And I've ignored commercialism altogether. I've simply pointed out one key fact: TotalFark Council distracts itself with chaotic relationships and shiny material possessions so it can avoid thinking about how only by striving to call for proper disciplinary action against it and its forces can I foster mutual understanding.

Edited May 1, 2013 by Happy The Hobo

[President S O]

Best of luck in this time of transition. :\

[idsfa]

This is what happens when I retire from MilCom.  The old guard thinks they can just dust off their rockers and take over.  Perhaps you forgot I still have deep roots in our government ?

 

You will step down now.

 

 

/Some of us still remember the Night of the Missing Ribbons 

Edited May 1, 2013 by idsfa

[Zacharias]

I was scared for a second, I thought this was the end of Fark announcements.

 

Anyways, I wish the best of luck to you guys

Edited May 1, 2013 by Zacharias

[905tf]

Citizens of Bob,

In support of the statement made by Cable77, I confirm the formal dissolution of the TotalFark Council and the stripping of ranks and privileges associated with the office.

I acknowledge that I retain authority over all diplomatic affairs as directed by Cable77 and confirm that I shall serve as second in command of Farkistan and her people.

 

We are currently formatting the transitional Charter and should have that up shortly.  Thank you for your patience!

By my pen on 30th of April, 2013,

-905

Lord Castalan/Squirrel of Farkistan

[iamthey]

Good luck I suppose, though I can't imagine why this public display was necessary. Wouldn't it have been more prudent for you to announce this after you had your affairs in order?

[Wu Tang Clan]

I don't know what this is...

 

But as my first post since returning to power allow me to say: Congratulations and good luck.

[Duke Nukem]

How does this benefit NPO?

You're a cheeky one aren't you? This thread has nothing to do with us, go back to your hole.

I think if you have the support of your membership, you can do what needs to be done. I look forward to the continued existence and quality I have come to love from Fark.

[Ogaden]

All hail emperor Happy the First, I think

Edited May 1, 2013 by Ogaden

[Rogal Dorn]

good luck fark!

[HappyTheHobo]

All hail emperor Happy the First, I think

YOLO

[Kahiel]

So waht, you thinik that bacsue you are a big man ouy cna define the charter????  We willl make you sept donw NOW!

[YOLO SWAG]

YOLO

 

 

What?

 

So waht, you thinik that bacsue you are a big man ouy cna define the charter????  We willl make you sept donw NOW!

 

This is going to be really fun to watch. Best of luck in your civil war, Fark.  :popcorn:

[Stefano Palmieri]

I love the smell of coup in the afternoon

[Vasuda]

I like the flag, at least. New Fark Order? Let's treaty and roll your former bloc together. What could go wrong?

[King Wally]

IT HAS BEGUN! :psyduck:

[IYIyTh]

If this was a joke Cable was the wrong guy to announce it. :P

[Shinfat]

Cable - You're a sad little man.

[YOLO SWAG]

IT HAS BEGUN! :psyduck:

 

 

I can only hope that innocent infra will be spared during these troubled times.

[Vasuda]

Cable - You're a sad little man.

How's the war going? Have nukes flown yet?

[Crymson]

If this was a joke Cable was the wrong guy to announce it. :P

 

If this isn't a joke, Cable was the wrong guy to give the power to.