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Failure in Farkistan

Farkistan Desperation erection Perverts OMG WTF BBQ

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#1 HappyTheHobo

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:18 PM

Because life on Bob has been sucking more than usual the last few days weeks months years, it looks like worldwide activity is down. WAY down. Admin's increasingly desperate pleas to find new nations have mostly fallen on deaf ears. Even Fark has been having activity problems, as evidenced by the shameful lack of candidates in this month's council erection. We needed to do some recruiting and we needed to do it fast. We, however, are much more proactive than Admin in our approach to recruiting. Much like Admin's pleas are often ignored with a swift click of the "dismiss" button, our own ads were quickly flagged and removed. We've screenshotted them for posterity.

Little Rock
Houston
New York
Philadelphia
Los Angeles

The responses we received were mostly spam, obscene pictures, and a lot of "are you serious" letters. Believe it or not, we managed to get some of these haggard internet perverts to join CN and run in this month's erections! Anyway, the newcomers all lost to these people:


Cable77 - Speaker of the Council

Why Are You Interested in this Position?
As you know, finding full time employment is very difficult right now. I have applied to over 200 positions within the last 2 years.

Can You Tell Us More about Your Experience?
You have had two weeks to review my resume yet you still want to know about my experience. This is so typical of Human Resources.

Why Should We Hire You?
If you donít hire me, it would prove that your management is incompetent.

Describe Your Ideal Job?
Iíll tell you what I donít want to be doing - sitting in boring meetings, doing grunt work and having to be nice to people all day long.

What Are Your Weaknesses?
I get angry easily and I went to jail for it but I wonít get mad at you.

What Motivates You?
Salary is very important, my gambling debts are rising.

Why Did You Leave Your Previous Employment?
My boss was stupid and would always argue with me about how to do my job.

Do You Have Any Questions about the Job?
When you run background checks on candidates, do arrests come up?



CountryMouse

Why Are You Interested in this Position?
Boredom.

Can You Tell Us More about Your Experience?
I've never been in a cult before, but hear that leadership is like being a god or something. I want to be a god.

Why Should We Hire You?
Because I took down all the ads so you would have to.

Describe Your Ideal Job?
Skulking around a computer in the dark reading wikipedia and miscellany.

What Are Your Weaknesses?
I won't do what you want me to; just want I feel like.

What Motivates You?
Boredom.

Why Did You Leave Your Previous Employment?
They made me do things. Outside. With people. It was inhumane.

Do You Have Any Questions about the Job?
Are there any new job postings?


182

Why Are You Interested in this Position?
It's been my lifelong dream to become a Wal Mart employee Farkistan .gov member!

Can You Tell Us More about Your Experience?
No.

Why Should We Hire You?
I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.

Describe Your Ideal Job?
Open bar, work 1:30-3:00pm Tuesday, Wednesday and alternating Thursdays.

What Are Your Weaknesses?
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

What Motivates You?
My only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

Why Did You Leave Your Previous Employment?
They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. I couldn't work under those demanding conditions.

Do You Have Any Questions about the Job?
What if I woke up in the morning afternoon and didnít feel like coming to work?


Mr. Cynical

Why Are You Interested in this Position?
It seems to me like a fun way to explore being a loser.

Can You Tell Us More about Your Experience?
This one time, at band camp, I butt-chugged a liter of cola.

Why Should We Hire You?
The only payment I require are boob gif's.

Describe Your Ideal Job?
I would rule with an iron fist, wrapped in a velvet glove, wrapped in Barb Wire. Yes, Pamela Anderson.

What Are Your Weaknesses?
I have a crippling fear of horses, spiders and heights. And also getting Admin's mom pregnant.

What Motivates You?
I am told that I get to enact the right of Primae Noctis on new nations.

Why Did You Leave Your Previous Employment?
There was a problem with a pot of coffee, a time machine, and a faulty prophylactic.

Do You Have Any Questions about the Job?
Do I have to fill out any TPS reports?


Randomly Jim

Why Are You Interested in this Position?
Its just a simple fact that after you get elected into high gov for a dying browser-based war game hiding behind a long broken, meta-political game that you get invited into this amazing sausage fest of a skype channel where you can hear the same 25 male asmatics make fun of each other in the hopes of winning the favor of the few women lonely enough to bury themselves in this social circle cum circle jerk. Naturally, after getting in, I will be named thier king and will finally be able to win over their queen.

Can You Tell Us More about Your Experience?
I just ate a cheese sandwich and I've seen every Adam Sandler film. Obviously, I'm ready.

Why Should We Hire You?
Who else is applying at this point?

Describe Your Ideal Job?
Unemployed welfare recipient with government provided internet access.

What Are Your Weaknesses?
I may or may not have a fetish for wearing women's undergarments that may or may not belong to my mother.

What Motivates You?
Tears.

Why Did You Leave Your Previous Employment?
Tears.

Do You Have Any Questions about the Job?
When does it end?



#2 EViL0nE

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:23 PM

Congrats, Gov!

#3 Ogaden

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:29 PM

I hear Fark's medical plan doesn't cover dental.

Congratulations gentlemen :)

Edited by Ogaden, 05 December 2012 - 02:30 PM.


#4 Litha Riddle

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:32 PM

Lol love the adverts XD

Congrats on the fine erections FARK. Hope there were plenty of pumps stationed near that beer spillage.

#5 Rampage3

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:34 PM

I hear Fark's medical plan doesn't cover dental.

Congratulations gentlemen :)


Just have a look at Hobo's teeth for the answer to that question...

/Hali...I think

#6 Ogaden

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:35 PM

You guys should form a union, down with the man, man

#7 Vukland

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:36 PM

Congrats to the newly erected!

Fark \o

#8 HappyTheHobo

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:43 PM

Just have a look at Hobo's teeth for the answer to that question...

/Hali...I think



Why do you think I drink my supper?

#9 Nobody Expects

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:44 PM

Congrats on the latest erections.

o/ Fark

#10 Helbrecht

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:44 PM

Looks like you are doomed.

#11 KemMo

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:44 PM

Rampage3 is making me hail this awful alliance and awful government. So.... o/ Fark, I guess.

Just kidding :wub:

#12 bmckenna

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:50 PM

Looks like you are doomed.


So much this.

#13 im317

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:00 PM

thanks for the laugh guys, good luck

#14 Yevgeni Luchenkov

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:13 PM

Disband.

#15 OutKast

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:17 PM

Who needs teeth. We got BERR !

/Congrats all

#16 D34th

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:31 PM

Congrats on your new gov, but this Randomly Jim guy sounds very grumpy. :P

#17 Winston Smith

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 04:17 PM

this should be mandatory for every job interview... oh wai...

Congrats!

#18 Commander shepard

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 04:25 PM

Congrats

#19 King Wally

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 04:30 PM

GLORY TO FARKISTAN! PRAISE BE THE ALMIGHTY LEADERS!




... can I get my pet hamptser back now, I did what you said... why does this nightmare continue :(

#20 SoADarthCyfe6

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:06 PM

Those Craiglist's ads were pretty humorous. Congratulations nevertheless.





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