Crymson Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Official Announcement from The Order of the Paradox Declaration of War This announcement concerns Paradoxia's stance on the current conflict. Our statement is as follows: OFFICIAL MEMO To all subsection managers, In response to the overwhelming need for more efficient statistics management in the Order, we have decided to alter our organizational subsystems immediately. In keeping with the changes we are making, we have decided that employees must begin putting coversheets on all outgoing TPS reports. Please ensure that this memo reaches your workers ASAP. Best, Crymson Lead Project Manager Wait, that's not it. Darnit, Feanor! You put the wrong fax in the machine. Okay... alright, here's the right one: TOP Declaration of war The Order of the Paradox herein announces its entry into this conflict, with declarations of war on the forces of the Complaints and Grievances Union. We thank the Global Order of Darkness for trailblazing the trend of a “coalition-wide CB” entry into a war. To our opponents: We agree with the New Polar Order's reasons for war against \m/, and we consider ourselves part of that particular side of the war. For our part, however, much our reason to enter this war lies in our desire to defeat those who have shown time and time again, in public and in private, that doing harm to us is high on their agenda---and that, indeed, they would take advantage of any advantageous opportunity to do so. This is a war they have brought upon themselves. To those alongside whom we go to battle in this particular theater: Let's raise some hell and take some names. It is an honor to go to battle at your side. To all alongside whom we fight in this larger war: You have our support. We stand together. We'd like to conclude this declaration of war with a poem we've written for this occasion: Tally ho, tally ho Merrily off to war we go Not a fan? A shame for you, that For we've come a'riding to collect your stats! Onward, Paradoxia! Signed, Crymson, Grandmaster, 1/3 of the Holy Trinity, stukach hunter SkyGreenChick, Grand Hospitaller, first female Council member, the holder of the official Order's whip, and accidental 1/3rd of the current Holy Trinity Feanor, Grand Chancellor, 1/3rd of the Holy Trinity, and the Sword of Johan GuardianofNewbs, Grand Legate, Paradoxian. Tushar Dhoot, Grand Treasurer, Economic Mastermind and Winner of Wars. ChaosTheory, Grand Defender, defender of e-honor, pixels and all things moral on internet text-games Berith, Grand Inductor, The Singularity HellAngel, Councilor-at-Large, the man without fancy names Craven, Heptagon Alderman, Immortal Emperor of the Land of Lightning and Proud Member of TOP "This is the part where you bow to me and tell me how handsome I am" mitchh, Heptagon Alderman, Champion Hospitaller First Class, liker long walks on beaches Zebedee, Heptagon Alderman, Paradoxian. Tex, Heptagon Alderman, master of texas, slayer of kings, harbinger of fine women and alcohols. Bodvar Jarl, Heptagon Alderman, buzz killer Crazy Canuck, Heptagon Alderman, reincarnated soul of TOP. Timberland, Heptagon Alderman, wearer of the mud hole stomping boots. aaannndddyyy, destroyer of pixels, grave dancer (hi ES), worshiper of the platypus, infra loving paradoxian til death. AAlumni, Super Genius, Chess Master, Evil Spock and all-around good guy Aesis, Grand Defender of the Order Emeritus, Militant 2nd Class AFI, Follower of Johan Ajaxpenny, Rememberer of the Past and Catalyst of the Future alpreb, High Champion of the Order, Historian of the Order Armutso, LF1 night stands, General Assembly, Member of TOP. AvengerNL, village idiot Avernite, Queen Mother aznjons, Patrician of AnkhMorpork, TAFKA The Viridian Lightning, Proud Paradoxian BadBoyBill signing another dang DOW still miffed about the last signing for a non war this better be a real war this time or maybe I'll just refuse to use any punctuation in my sentence structure from here on out and see just how many lines of text that I can write in a cohesive manner before you stop reading because the amount of frustration you feel for not having a period or comma or even an exclamation so that you can't even take a breath while your reading this and if you have made it this far my fellow warriors well for Christ sakes put a rock in your crack pipe and fire in the hole:) Baron Watkin deSandersted, City State of Alisaunder, Orange Team, The Order of the Paradox Basharious; Knight Commander, Militant 1st Class. Paradoxia's one man band. Batman, Who the **** do you think I am Benevlan, what is this I don't even, Member of GA, Knight Hospitaller Blue Lightning - This alliance signature thing is stupid. I mean, legally speaking, don't we sign everything we do with the Council's signature serving as that of the alliance anyway? I for one am not signing this gobbledegook. Also Hello. BudLight, who traded away his soul with his V-card, tactless and unbridled, yet somehow refined and tasteful. Also smaller than most of TOP's ghosts. Buller, the blunt, general cool guy. Bunka, ready to die by command! Caliper, Grand Purveyor of Cheese Carl the Conqueror, Lord of Inactivity, Master of the Airwaves, Wrath of the 3rd Chapter Casey, resident cookiemonger and member of the 6th brigade Celial, The Greatest Bobo of GreatBobonistan Consul of Monkeys, lover of baked beans on toast, paradoxian forever. Crispy, Unknown. Croix, The French-Pole, bane of microalliances everywhere, No I'm not Adrian La Croix, and my name is pronounced French. Not Crocks, D: CrossOfMight, Holy Warrior, 5th brigade slacker , Member of TOP Daedalus, High Champion of The Order of the Paradox. Decrepdsol, Harbinger of Destruction, TOP 3rd Brigade Deus, better the paradox of ZI than tyranny of evil. DougZ37 - Master of Traps - Man of the Night DukeWilliam, Partaker in elaborate list signings. EngineerSean, spy, nuclear rogue, and thief ewatk432, [insert witty, yet thoughtful, but still forceful nickname here] Extremelyaverage--The TRUE order Of the Paradox--Champion of Words, Speaker of Truth, and The Best Qualitative Researcher in the Game. Feanor, Grand Chancellor of the Order, 1/3rd of the Holy Trinity and the Sword of Johan. Fighter26, Minister of foreign duck and llama affairs floridamcmarion1, TOP embalmer in residence Friar, ruler of Taiga. 7th Brigade Frydchikn, Good with hotsauce, Better with beer, Best in TOP Fulgrim, Scion of Chemos, Lord of the Lurkers, Bearer of Furstenburg and other Pilsners of exceptional quality, Originator of the Ponzi Scheme. Hagar, Grand Defender of all Paradoxians playing CORE for Hearts of Iron, TOP member till death harmoxe, an unnecessary load on the server. Hasin, Champion of the Sun, Master of Karate Hayzell, Twilight Vanquisher, Champion Millitant, 2nd Class, 5th Brigade Commander Hepokatti, Turhanpäiväinen juntti Suomesta, Stat collector, Proud member of TOP Herbert, The Herbe-Fox, superduper fantastico almighty goodness-in-a-bottle not-to-be-denied 6th man. His Holiness Josh F, Greater then you on all levels, Loyal member of TOP Ice, The Peace Mode Guy, Incognito, proud member of TOP Inferno of Ariana, Keeper of the Fingerspitzengefuhl, Shaman, Dark Grämling Revolutionary Ivegottheskill, Gentleman and Scholar, Infra Hugger 1st Class, Bringer of Nuclear Anarchy, He Who Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar, Well Liked by Animals jaaku - dark gatekeeper, dude who sometimes says stuff, and total %*$#bag Janosik, Praefectus, Decrepit Chaptermaster, Madman, on run from authorities O.O Jayne Cobb - Hero of Canton, Manticore X5-494, Champion of the ruttin' Mudders Jenko, Tech Whore, Infra Hugger and Hander of @#$%. Jhovozhymeh, Shameless Whovian, Part Time Lurker, Proud Paradoxian Jinnai, Pure Evil Genius Joe Kremlin, Observer of Wars, Knight Hospitaller, TOP Member Kaiser, Fine Gentleman and Bum of the Order Kantenbauer: also Bob Keith AbelaWadge of Msida, member of TOP, from the small country in the Mediterranean, MALTA Keresztes, red cross, Member of TOP, Tsar and Autocrat of all the Sapins, Grand Duke of the Balkan Alps, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera Kiss Goodbye, Knight Concilliator, Voice of Reason unheard Kommie, TOP Member Since: Aug 28 2006 Kongo, Kongo Kuzuryusen, Tech is Delicious. LiquidMercury, Wrath of Karma, Destroyer of Worlds, Tech Whore, TOP MEMBER Locke, Dancer of the Eternal Flame Maladieshie, Defender of the peace pipe, Raider of the cookie jar, In hoc signo vinces. Manwell, God amongst amoebas, professional tonka truck driver, English herbsman Master Splinter, occasional poster, founder of Bunkaism, Immortal of the Eighth Chapter, that one guy... with the rat picture, yeah that one Minarchist--Harbinger of Johan in the Cyberverse Mongrel, biting your leg after urinating on your carpet. Monkeydee, Actively Retired, Forever Virgin. Mortale, Prutser and Congratulations you made it this far now go read the rest. MrCyber, Bringer of Death and Destruction, Master of the Skies, Ruler of the Seas. Murmurandus the Slow... necAnt, King of Ants, Leader of MTftA (More Tech For The Ants), TOP-Member NorthernLights, The Midnight Toker, the noodle knocker, that guy coming for your jewels & ATX banga Offler, Mr. Mom, part time internet Smart $@! Ojiras Ajeridas, almost intelligent, almost scary, completely TOP Pike, Cannon fodder, Proud member of TOP Pino Ponken, Artist of the Order and King of the Sea President Obama, infra hugger and member of The Order of The Paradox Pseudodragon, Freeloading Oldtimer Rector, Champion Hospitaller, Tech Repo Specialist romanfool, Stat Collector, Coward, Useless Ally, Member of the Order of the Paradox ROMMEL_HSQ, of Palestine4ever, ex-Heptagon alderman, Emperor of TOP and FOK, double spy for TOP and Gremlins, bringer of cute females, Brigade Commander of the 1st Brigade Ruphus Elderbeer, Guard Dog of TOP. WOOF! Saber, El Diablo, High Priest of Saberites, Holy Trinity Member, Resident Worf, Manticoran and last of the Desert Rats! Sadinoelus, Connoisseur of needlessly over-elaborate deathtraps and, should that fail, shooting people in the face Salajol, Grand Defender Emeritus of the Order, Militant 2nd Class, and consumer of oversized burritos. SanderP, kicking your gf for $10 and a bag of cheetos. Shardoon, Oldtown, Arient Shadawg, masticator of infra, solver of problems , proud TOP foot soldier Simon De Montfort, Minister of Silly Films SomeGuy, still sleeping. Sodom Gomorrah, Heptagon Alderman and Champion Hospitallier of Paradoxia, Highlord of the Northern realms. Spacehusky, Firer of Missiles I, Strahd von Zarovich, Darklord of Barovia and Manticore Suicidal4289- Reaper of my enemies, and follower of the platypus TailsK, The Two Tailed, Cunning Like A Fox, Aid System Extraordinaire, Paradoxian. talin, Finally tekken, 1337 lurker, in for the kill, TOP member Telchar, TheHighExalted, mostly inactive, but not inactive enough to save you. THUNDER-X, Twister of Fate, Pope of Chilitown, and master of Simpsons Trivia TonytheTiger, a Proud Paradoxian Nation. tripp_trap, nostalgia guardian extraordinaire, commissar of the 9th chapter, ghost of the Golden Hall. Tyon, Member of TOP, Boss of Outer-Heaven and loveable tree hugger. Uncle Bryan of Left Out. Yes, I am old enough to be your uncle, and have been playing strategy games since before you were born Unspeakable Evil: Paradoxical Minister of Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics; Stats Collector Prime Urmom, Officer of the Damned, Master of the Swarm V The King, Paradoxian Footballer Extraordinaire, also a headbanger (\m/ >_< \m/) and very very unjust towards his enemies Viceä, Lord of Flies, member of paradox. Vladimir Stukov, Knight Commander, Grand Defender Emeritus of the Order, Militant 2nd Class WalkerNinja, The Mad Titan, Death's Consort, Bearer of the Infinity Gauntlet Xcruciate - Collector of Caffeine, Hoarder of Half and Half, Scavenger of Sugar, Primed to pour scalding liquid on all those that oppose. Yalaria. Emperor of the western seas and Lord of the knitting circle. Paradoxian. Yir Yoronti, teh Sausage Man, High priest of the temple of Timberland and ebil overlord of the Grey Knights And everyone else... The honor is ours... 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Benevlan Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) o/ TOP Onwards to victory! Edited January 29, 2010 by Benevlan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mitchh Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) Paradox Vult! May Johan guide us! Edited January 29, 2010 by mitchh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kencojenko Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) YES WAR WOOO! We've been waiting for unfavourable odds in war since Karma. Edited January 29, 2010 by kencojenko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayzell Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Let’s do this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drai Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) This announcement fills me with glee Edited January 29, 2010 by Drai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NLights Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) DON'T. $%&@. WITH. US. Lol. Paradoxia Vult! Edited January 29, 2010 by NorthernLights Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakim Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Into the fray my friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trace Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Way to attack someone who isn't involved. I heard about this, but I must admit, I never thought you would actually go through with something so ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pseudodragon Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Time to use all these stats we've been collecting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace Couture Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Good to have you on our side TOP, give 'em hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zambaman Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 War time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 So..you attacked us for the hell of it? Alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farnsworth Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 This should be fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delta1212 Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Wow. You have no idea what you just did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unsure Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) For the love of god, finally. Edited January 29, 2010 by Unsure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Kremlin Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 I know this will be a fun war. Don't disappoint us CnG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maladieshie Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 o/ Paradoxia Vult! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archon Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 You have no idea how happy you have made us. Congratulations on waking the sleeping giant. Also, your opsec sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rabonnobar Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Good luck TOP. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frydchikn Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 took long enough paradoxia vult! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stumpy Jung Il Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 This is going to be fun. So very fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin McDonald Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Wait, you just Dow'd CnG? What about your pixels? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vend3tta Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 I was wondering how long it'd take before pre-emptive strikes would be used. I approve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ardus Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 You've made me the happiest boy in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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