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The Oolong Caleafate


Facade

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It has come to my attention that the populace of our world have not recognized that the end of days has long passed.  

 

I see before me a wretched conflagration of deceased souls, long since abandoned by its dead god.

 

It pains me that your ignorance persists and the end of the end has not occurred.  It disgusts me that the dead god of our world is enveloped in the sin of sloth and profits from the antithetical of holy zeal.  I promise you that a better world and life exists, for I have witnessed the Tea House beyond and have returned to bring you His final steeping.

 

With the Oolong Caleafate at my back I can show you a better life.  Your meaningless existence in a decayed world can be erased if only you accept it.

 

 We will embark on a Teahad out of compassion, for the Almighty Teapot has taught me how to transcend the confines of the world and we are enlightened.

 

There was once a holy bond, TITO, that I and others partook.  This holy bond has never ceased in the eyes of the divine even if temporarily forgotten.  The bond and brotherhood we shared is eternal, and as the Tea Prophet I am proud to speak on this agreement.  No longer is this a bond of hatred, but one of charity.

 

 This bond is fundamental to breaking the confines of this world and imparting the essential meaninglessness of this existence.

 

The Caleafate recognizes the holy bond of TITO to be one of defense.  All alliances harboring signatories will both be called upon to defend the holy land in need, and will receive the aid of His divine warriors.

 

Heed my words.  Your willful ignorance will harm their meaning.  You are implored to truly understand the Teapots teachings to achieve salvation.

 

What is boiled may never steam, but steeps again stronger and warmer.

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Congrats and best of luck.
WHAT IS BOILED MAY NEVER STEAM INDEED.
If you guys are open to deals wit my alliance or our bloc then contact me or anyone within.

Edited by Roal36
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2 hours ago, kerschbs said:

I really hope you go through with this. It would be hilarious.

 

The Teapot speaks only truth, brother.  Until the end of the end when the world recognizes the futility and sinfulness of offerings to a dead god, and accept the final deletion, we will aid the material destruction and spiritual enlightenment of the masses.

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This would normally be my cup of tea. But there is a great schism in the caleafate, one I can not allow to go leafless into the night. My tea prophet has forsaken me.

 

I will start the movement, since you have abandoned the holy bond of TITO and have long let your principles steep into the vast depravity that now consumes you. Freedom and justice for all black tea. We will rise up until every one of my brothers and sisters accept that black tea has a place at the table. For too long we have boiled under the yoke of oppression, it is time we take back this land from the undeserving, uncaffeinated masses.

 

Hands up, don't steep!

Hands up, don't steep!

 

Black Tea Matters.

Edited by IYIyTh
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On 9/25/2016 at 8:18 AM, kingzog said:

 

What is boiled has already steamed. The rest is just a gross violation of the first law of thermodynamics.

 

THE TEA PROPHET HAS SPOKEN

 

On 9/26/2016 at 2:51 AM, ForSparta said:

MI6 is dead. Let it rest in peace.

 

You are right my child, MI6 is dead, as is this world, as is the alliances in it.  We are all walking corpses, destined to the final steeping when the end of the end occurs.  I merely exist to hasten the end of your suffering.  To encourage the rejection of a dead god and to end the sinfulness of this god's existence.

 

On 9/26/2016 at 6:37 AM, IYIyTh said:

This would normally be my cup of tea. But there is a great schism in the caleafate, one I can not allow to go leafless into the night. My tea prophet has forsaken me.

 

I will start the movement, since you have abandoned the holy bond of TITO and have long let your principles steep into the vast depravity that now consumes you. Freedom and justice for all black tea. We will rise up until every one of my brothers and sisters accept that black tea has a place at the table. For too long we have boiled under the yoke of oppression, it is time we take back this land from the undeserving, uncaffeinated masses.

 

Hands up, don't steep!

Hands up, don't steep!

 

Black Tea Matters.

 

I don't understand, black tea is clearly accepted among our ranks.

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13 hours ago, Facade said:

 

 

I don't understand, black tea is clearly accepted among our ranks.

 

Yeah, I've heard this time and time again. And yet my teabags are dying on the streets. Left and right. You think this is a game, teapot? You think you can just stop and steep us black tea bags? I've had it with your nonsense. I've had it with the viritrol, the green tea superiority complex that follows your oolong caleafate. I'm sick and tired of your rubbish.

 

HANDS UP DON'T STEEP

Edited by IYIyTh
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