One Eighty Two Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 If there's one things Farkers know, it's how to make high-quality, intoxicating beverages. Traditional Farkistani mixes are often complicated, requiring many bottles of liquor and beer mixed with bizarre ingredients (zebra milk). After a heated debate, it was decided that we should share the TotalFarkers Choice Recipe List, in an effort to help Bob understand us better get drunk. Drink #1 - The NSFW - Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, SmontagIngredients: 1 oz. cheap vodka, 1 oz. good vodka, 1/2 oz. rum, 1/2 oz whiskey, 1 oz. flat 7-up, 3 oz. Warm Stale Beer, Last 2 frost-covered ice cubes from iceboxHistory/Mixing: Also known as the "Crap I forgot to buy booze, let's see what's left in all these bottles." This ancient recipe is instinctively known to all true Farkers and has been handed down for generations. Mix all the ingredients together in a plastic cup or dirty beer mug. Sip gingerly and gag before exclaiming "Fark it!" and swallowing the whole mess in one gulp. Drink #2 - The Decide R InchiefIngredients: Vinegar, WaterHistory/Mixing: The perfect drink to order for that !@#$% at the end of the bar. Mix ingredients in a tube, insert into your mouth, and swish. Leaves you feeling fresh and clean-smelling, like a summer's eve. Drink #3 - The BozDaBozIngredients: 1 scoop vanilla ice cream, 3 oz. bourbon, 1 oz. amaretto, 6 oz. coca-cola, 1 maraschino cherryHistory/Mixing: Relaxing on a quiet Sunday evening? Why do it sober?? Put the ice-cream scoop and coke into a large mug, add in the bourbon and amaretto. Garnish with the cherry. This sweet, sweet ice cream treat was invented by a caring Farkistani mother who needed a way to make sure her kids were getting enough bourbon. (Bourbon makes you grow up big and strong!) Drink #4 - The 182Ingredients: 2 oz. whiskey, 2 oz. goldschlager, 4 oz. Imitation GOON blood, 8 oz. black coffeeHistory/Mixing: This was the favored morning wake-up drink for the Farkistani military during the Holy War. Invented by 182, this drink combines the sweet tastes of home with the bitter, dirty, sewage-smelling imitation Goonblood to wake Farkers up, as well as remind them why they fight. Drink #5 - The Bionic RedheadIngredients: 36 oz. cold beer, 36 oz. cold beer, 36 oz. cold beer, 1 Liter of Tequila, 1 pair leopard-print panties, 6 extra strength tylenolHistory/Mixing: Drink the cold beers one at a time, within the span of 2 hours. Start drinking tequila. Wake up with leopard print panties on your floor. Eat the tylenol and go back to sleep. Many Farkers can regale you with stories of performing this ritual. The drink gets its name from the rumors that, while inebriated, Bionic Redhead visits you and leaves his panties behind as a reminder of the viscious sodomy you received. Drink #6 - Submitter 905's hangover to hell expressIngredients: 1 bottle Pepto-bismol, 2 alka seltzer, 1 oz. Gold Tequila, 4 oz. flat beerHistory/Mixing: A legendary mixmaster dreamed up this abhorrent mixture after suffering from a hangover for 6 weeks straight. One of the more famous Farkistani beverages, this preparation has even made a movie cameo! Mix the beer and pepto in a tall plastic cup. Drop in the alka seltzer and immediately afterwards, drop in the shot of Tequila. Chug as fast as you can. 3oz of insubordination may be substituted for beer if Cable is in office. Drink #7 - one_eighty_two's the SquirrelIngredients: 3 oz. 12-year-old scotch, 1 oz. Mr Vicarious' Pecan Schnapps, 1/4 oz. Stoli Brand RageQuit hotsauceHistory/Mixing: The main ingredients of this dish remind foreigners that Farkers 1. Drink, 2. Can be sweet and friendly, and 3. Will burn your ass if you screw with us. Stir the scotch and schnapps together in a small glass with ice. Stick your finger in the hotsauce. Take small sips of the scotch-schnapps mixture, then rub the hotsauce in your eyes.Drinks Index: TF Council: Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Smontag - Speaker of the Council Decide R Inchief BozDaBoz one_eighty_two Bionic Redhead Subby: 905 Squirrel: one_eighty_two Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Zigur Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 Congrats guys, you were always cool when I diplo'd in Polar :ehm: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killjoy123 Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 Smontag is speaker? This is great. Now all you have to do is turn the Fark boards into a online liquor store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxHouseArrestXx Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 Congratz Fark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Virginia Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) (Bourbon makes you grow up big and strong!) I can attest to this personally. I am heartened to see that Fark now strives to follow in my footsteps. Edited December 3, 2015 by Rebel Virginia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jekalle Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 Smontag in charge? Only great things can come from that. Congrats guys, a fine looking lineup. Just missing some Rampage3 and Yukon Don. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brucemania Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 Oh my Canada is doomed ..... Congrats to all o/ and even Smontag :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REALPAL Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 CONGRATS :smug: We still have some Guru Beer left to share :lol1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spartacus1082 Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 Nice lineup guys. Congrats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smurthwaite Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 OK. Looks like I have to drunk diplo again. o/FARK May Smontag have mercy on your souls, as he will show your booze none. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judge X Posted December 4, 2015 Report Share Posted December 4, 2015 O/ Fark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HalfEmpty Posted December 5, 2015 Report Share Posted December 5, 2015 One of TPFs favorites for newbs is Rum and Ripple over ice AKA Cripple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Stupid Posted December 5, 2015 Report Share Posted December 5, 2015 Congrats guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helbrecht Posted December 6, 2015 Report Share Posted December 6, 2015 :wub: Fark. also drink #6 with substitution is where its at!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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