Franz Ferdinand Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 Within the mighty halls of the Mountain Kong something stirred which truly shocked and horrified the denizens of the Kingdom: The Doombassador found out she was adopted and that her real father was her man servant xr1. She discovered this while he was busy throwing out The Doomtender's scrap paper which ended up being pilfered by the sweaty monsters who come in on Friday to empty the coin slot in the arcade machine. While this was happening, The Doomfluffer known as Claude had finished off making sure that the Doom Council were ready for their daily warmongering and sacrifice of totally innocent vanilla midgets to the prophet who had brought enlightenment to the great Kingdom. Suddenly, Claude accidentally pulled on the minuscule rod being held proudly by the statue of Stonewall14, destroyer of methylphenethylamine habits and popular detoxicator of troubled individuals. By doing so, a plinth started to rise out of the ground and contained within it was a sheet of paper. Curious, he decided to approach it and read what was on the paper. The following was visible: --- The Contract with the Doom Kingdom Before signing the contract with the Doom Kingdom, abbreviated as DK, a doom apprentice is encouraged to scan the contract before agreeing to. Once the doom apprentice agrees to sign the contract in blood, he, she, or it will become a kong of the Doom Kingdom. Additionally, to hereby swear to obey and to carry out the will of the Doom Kingdom’s only true ruler, Doomfather, under any circumstances, including acts of doommolation. Provision Number I: Doomembership Section Number I: Doommission A candidate to the Doom Kingdom may only be accepted by the Government affiliates of the Doom Kingdom, with final confirmation from the Doomfather, the Doomanager, or a Doom Councilor. It is expected of a candidate to be proactive and to be interviewed by a Doom Councilor or higher through a form of instant communication. A conversation log between the candidate and the Doom Councilor will then be distributed to the Doom Kingdom Government to determine whether the candidate is suitable to comply the Doomfather’s wishes. If the candidate is to be recognized as a kong of the Doom Kingdom, it is expected of the kong to be respectable and honorable to his or her equals. Finally, the kong is strongly encouraged to participate in the Pink sphere. Section Number II: Dual Memberships We, at Doom Kingdom, do allow dual memberships. It is imperative for a kong to inform the Doomfather, the Doomanager, or the Doombassador so the Doomfather, the Doomanager, and the Doombassador may consider the kong’s position for the Doom Kingdom’s foreign affairs direction. The Doom Kingdom is not obligated to defend its kongs with dual memberships if the kongs are not present in the Doom Kingdom’s alliance affiliation. The kongs will be informed that once their departures from the Doom Kingdom occur, they will be perceived as a resignation of doomembership unless previously approved by the Doomfather, the Doomanager, or the Doombassador. Section Number III: Doomicide The Doomfather, the Doomanager, or the Doom Councilors may banish any kong they find to be incapable of carrying out the Doomfather’s will. Provision Number II: The Dooministration of the Doom Kingdom The dooministration structure of the Doom Kingdom is primarily operated by the Doomfather, and the Doomanager. The Doomfather and the Doomanager has the authority to designate or detach any kong from a government position. Each Doom Councilor or higher is strongly advised to take in kongs to learn the arts of a Doominister’s own department’s field and to perform daily tasks. Doomarshall, Doombassador, Doomerchant, Doomtender, and Habringer of Doom are considered Dooministers. Section Number I: The Doomfather The Doomfather is the benevolent and incorruptible dictator of the alliance. The Doomfather has final authority on all matters involving the Doom Kingdom. The Doomfather has the final say in affairs of establishment and cancellation of ties, issuing declaration of wars, and reaching conclusion of wars. Should the Doomfather be slain in battle, resigned his or her duties, or doommolated, the Doomanager will ascend to the position. Section Number II: The Doomanager The Doomanager is the second in command of the alliance. It acts as a bridge between the doomembership and the Doomfather. In addition, it acts in an Councilory capacity to the Doomfather and a representative of the Doomfather in all matters should the Doomfather be unavailable. Section Number III: The Doomarshall The Doomarshall is the overseer of the Doom Kingdom’s military. The Doomarshall’s responsibility is to assess the condition of the Doom Kingdom’s doomembership body along with its ability to defend itself from external threats by means of inspecting treasuries, wonders, and revising and updating guides. The Doomarshall is given the “blank check” authority by the Doomfather to implement and maintain a military system that optimizes the Doom Kingdom’s ability to vaporize its enemies with banana peels. The Doomarshall has the Doomfather’s authority to permit raiding targets to kongs of the Doom Kingdom but not granted the permission to authorize wars on a sovereign alliance. Section Number IV: The Doombassador The Doombassador is the champion of the Doom Kingdom and its foreign affairs. The Doombassador’s responsibility is to assess the condition of the Doom Kingdom’s foreign ties and to confirm that the foreign ties remain compatible, ideally and philosophically. The Doombassador has the Doomfather’s authority to assign diplomats to other sovereign alliances and to maintain and regulate the Doom Kingdom’s foreign embassies and consulates. Section Number V: The Doomerchant The Doomerchant is the banana merchant of the Doom Kingdom who controls all economically viable assets in the Doom Kingdom, especially bananas, and its doomembership body. The Doomerchant’s responsibility is to assess the condition of the Doom Kingdom’s economy and ensure that the condition remains dynamic and sustainable. Section Number VI: The Harbinger of Doom The Harbinger of Doom is the propagandist and recruiter of the Doom Kingdom. The Harbinger of Doom is responsible for operating the Doom Kingdom’s media and to recruit potential candidates that emboldens the image of the Doom Kingdom. Section Number VII: The Doom Councilor The Doom Councilor is an individual with great experience and knowledge of the game. A Doom Councilor’s assessment is greatly respected by kongs and the Government of Doom Kingdom. Additionally, it serves as a mentor to the kongs and bears responsibility of all assistants’ positions as stated above. There can be more than one Doom Councilor. Section Number VIII: The Doomtender The Doomtender operates under the Doomanager and mixes up concoctions like the Drunken Money (Banana, Coco Lopez, Kahlua, Rum) and the Monkey Business (Banana, Banana Liqueur, Half-and-Half Cream, Maple Syrup, Vermont White Vodka) for the inhabitants of the Doom Kingdom. It is the Doomtender's job to serve any new visitors to the Doom Kingdom and make sure that they are not attempting to smuggle in anything that could harm the economy of Doom Kingdom. In their role, the Doomtender will also hear gossip and pass on anything learned to the Doom Council for dissemination within their clown car fortress. Provision Number III: Doom Council The Doom Council is strictly composed of Doom Councilors. The Doom Council will, collectively, assign a Doom Councilor to fill a Government member’s position temporarily should the Government member of the Doom Kingdom remain absent. The Doom Council reserves the right to promote a kong, if deemed to be appropriate, to a status of a Doom Councilor. Provision Number IV: Raiding The Doom Kingdom strongly supports raiding, as long as it is regulated. A kong conducting a raiding mission will need the Doomarshall’s authorization to proceed. The Doom Kingdom Government: Doomfather - Hapapants Doomanager - Lord Hershey Doombassador - White Chocolate Doomarshall - Banned Doomerchant - Bdewakantunwan Doomtender - Franz Ferdinand The Doom Council: - Artigo - Berbers - Caliph - High Chancellor Liq - Karl Godel - RileyAddaff - Supreme Emperor Daeg - Xavier Renegade Angel Source: REVISED Date: 07 July 2015 - 18:10:00 PM Status: ACTIVE --- After reading this, he felt a pressure on his shoulder. When he turned around he was amazed to see Daeg kitted out in a poorly made lime cyclops outfit with a nametag which could not be read correctly. Daeg put his hand over Claude's mouth and uttered the following chilling words: "I see you have something for me to leak, Sogron. Don't worry, it's all ogre now!" Claude is now undergoing therapy and has only uttered the following words: "If only twenty people had not defeated my score... it is all I have ever achieved with my life..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berbers Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 Oh wow, such score, go us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gh0s7 Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 Hail the Kingdom. o/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxHouseArrestXx Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 DK notice meh,... I mean congratulations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xR1 Fatal Instinct Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 I swear I only had intercourse with Hershey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Enema Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 xR1 might have topped Hershey, but his tight little hole gave me HPV1 and now I totally want a refund. 2.00 dollars, cash, pay up XR1! o/DK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Chocolate Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 Hail Doom Kingdom. I swear I only had intercourse with Hershey. father?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Dakota Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 ... ... I don't know what I just witnessed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxplayer Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 Coolio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gh0s7 Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 Hail Doom Kingdom. father?! This is where you say "Oh $%*&" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Zigur Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 *Adjusts spectacle This looks quite good. *Reads that part about XR1 *Drops spectacle in pakalolo bowl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xR1 Fatal Instinct Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 xR1 might have topped Hershey, but his tight little hole gave me HPV1 and now I totally want a refund. 2.00 dollars, cash, pay up XR1! o/DK You numba 1 G.I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonewall14 Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 o/ Doom Kingdom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pingu Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 This is probably terrible. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margrave Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 Somewhere around the twelfth Doom, Doom stopped being a word, and became a sound again; without meaning, merely a short collection of letters in a one syllable format. I mean, hail DK, I'm going to sing the Doom Song now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YOLO SWAG Posted August 10, 2015 Report Share Posted August 10, 2015 Grats with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supreme Emperor Daeg Posted August 11, 2015 Report Share Posted August 11, 2015 We did what now? ... I mean yay us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confocal Posted August 11, 2015 Report Share Posted August 11, 2015 I didn't read a word of this it looked pretty long Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wes the wise Posted August 12, 2015 Report Share Posted August 12, 2015 (edited) Who wants to explain to my Christian citizens what a "doomfluffer" is ? Edited August 12, 2015 by wes the wise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Chocolate Posted August 12, 2015 Report Share Posted August 12, 2015 Who wants to explain to my Christian citizens what a "doomfluffer" is ? actually Wes, we all want to pass on that one, thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gh0s7 Posted August 12, 2015 Report Share Posted August 12, 2015 Who wants to explain to my Christian citizens what a "doomfluffer" is ? We're all playing rock. paper. scissors to see who gets to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pansy Posted August 12, 2015 Report Share Posted August 12, 2015 We're all playing rock. paper. scissors to see who gets to do it.*crosses his fingers Tidy has to do it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Buscemi Posted August 22, 2015 Report Share Posted August 22, 2015 Can I call you all Rainbow Kingdom? It sound more cheery, like the fluffy Care Bear I sleep with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonewall14 Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 (edited) Within the mighty halls of the Mountain Kong something stirred which truly shocked and horrified the denizens of the Kingdom: The Doombassador found out she was adopted and that her real father was her man servant xr1. She discovered this while he was busy throwing out The Doomtender's scrap paper which ended up being pilfered by the sweaty monsters who come in on Friday to empty the coin slot in the arcade machine. While this was happening, The Doomfluffer known as Claude had finished off making sure that the Doom Council were ready for their daily warmongering and sacrifice of totally innocent vanilla midgets to the prophet who had brought enlightenment to the great Kingdom. Suddenly, Claude accidentally pulled on the minuscule rod being held proudly by the statue of Stonewall14, destroyer of methylphenethylamine habits and popular detoxicator of troubled individuals. By doing so, a plinth started to rise out of the ground and contained within it was a sheet of paper. Curious, he decided to approach it and read what was on the paper. The following was visible: --- The Contract with the Doom Kingdom Before signing the contract with the Doom Kingdom, abbreviated as DK, a doom apprentice is encouraged to scan the contract before agreeing to. Once the doom apprentice agrees to sign the contract in blood, he, she, or it will become a kong of the Doom Kingdom. Additionally, to hereby swear to obey and to carry out the will of the Doom Kingdom’s only true ruler, Doomfather, under any circumstances, including acts of doommolation. Provision Number I: Doomembership Section Number I: Doommission A candidate to the Doom Kingdom may only be accepted by the Government affiliates of the Doom Kingdom, with final confirmation from the Doomfather, the Doomanager, or a Doom Councilor. It is expected of a candidate to be proactive and to be interviewed by a Doom Councilor or higher through a form of instant communication. A conversation log between the candidate and the Doom Councilor will then be distributed to the Doom Kingdom Government to determine whether the candidate is suitable to comply the Doomfather’s wishes. If the candidate is to be recognized as a kong of the Doom Kingdom, it is expected of the kong to be respectable and honorable to his or her equals. Finally, the kong is strongly encouraged to participate in the Pink sphere. Section Number II: Dual Memberships We, at Doom Kingdom, do allow dual memberships. It is imperative for a kong to inform the Doomfather, the Doomanager, or the Doombassador so the Doomfather, the Doomanager, and the Doombassador may consider the kong’s position for the Doom Kingdom’s foreign affairs direction. The Doom Kingdom is not obligated to defend its kongs with dual memberships if the kongs are not present in the Doom Kingdom’s alliance affiliation. The kongs will be informed that once their departures from the Doom Kingdom occur, they will be perceived as a resignation of doomembership unless previously approved by the Doomfather, the Doomanager, or the Doombassador. Section Number III: Doomicide The Doomfather, the Doomanager, or the Doom Councilors may banish any kong they find to be incapable of carrying out the Doomfather’s will. Provision Number II: The Dooministration of the Doom Kingdom The dooministration structure of the Doom Kingdom is primarily operated by the Doomfather, and the Doomanager. The Doomfather and the Doomanager has the authority to designate or detach any kong from a government position. Each Doom Councilor or higher is strongly advised to take in kongs to learn the arts of a Doominister’s own department’s field and to perform daily tasks. Doomarshall, Doombassador, Doomerchant, Doomtender, and Habringer of Doom are considered Dooministers. Section Number I: The Doomfather The Doomfather is the benevolent and incorruptible dictator of the alliance. The Doomfather has final authority on all matters involving the Doom Kingdom. The Doomfather has the final say in affairs of establishment and cancellation of ties, issuing declaration of wars, and reaching conclusion of wars. Should the Doomfather be slain in battle, resigned his or her duties, or doommolated, the Doomanager will ascend to the position. Section Number II: The Doomanager The Doomanager is the second in command of the alliance. It acts as a bridge between the doomembership and the Doomfather. In addition, it acts in an Councilory capacity to the Doomfather and a representative of the Doomfather in all matters should the Doomfather be unavailable. Section Number III: The Doomarshall The Doomarshall is the overseer of the Doom Kingdom’s military. The Doomarshall’s responsibility is to assess the condition of the Doom Kingdom’s doomembership body along with its ability to defend itself from external threats by means of inspecting treasuries, wonders, and revising and updating guides. The Doomarshall is given the “blank check” authority by the Doomfather to implement and maintain a military system that optimizes the Doom Kingdom’s ability to vaporize its enemies with banana peels. The Doomarshall has the Doomfather’s authority to permit raiding targets to kongs of the Doom Kingdom but not granted the permission to authorize wars on a sovereign alliance. Section Number IV: The Doombassador The Doombassador is the champion of the Doom Kingdom and its foreign affairs. The Doombassador’s responsibility is to assess the condition of the Doom Kingdom’s foreign ties and to confirm that the foreign ties remain compatible, ideally and philosophically. The Doombassador has the Doomfather’s authority to assign diplomats to other sovereign alliances and to maintain and regulate the Doom Kingdom’s foreign embassies and consulates. Section Number V: The Doomerchant The Doomerchant is the banana merchant of the Doom Kingdom who controls all economically viable assets in the Doom Kingdom, especially bananas, and its doomembership body. The Doomerchant’s responsibility is to assess the condition of the Doom Kingdom’s economy and ensure that the condition remains dynamic and sustainable. Section Number VI: The Harbinger of Doom The Harbinger of Doom is the propagandist and recruiter of the Doom Kingdom. The Harbinger of Doom is responsible for operating the Doom Kingdom’s media and to recruit potential candidates that emboldens the image of the Doom Kingdom. Section Number VII: The Doom Councilor The Doom Councilor is an individual with great experience and knowledge of the game. A Doom Councilor’s assessment is greatly respected by kongs and the Government of Doom Kingdom. Additionally, it serves as a mentor to the kongs and bears responsibility of all assistants’ positions as stated above. There can be more than one Doom Councilor. Section Number VIII: The Doomtender The Doomtender operates under the Doomanager and mixes up concoctions like the Drunken Money (Banana, Coco Lopez, Kahlua, Rum) and the Monkey Business (Banana, Banana Liqueur, Half-and-Half Cream, Maple Syrup, Vermont White Vodka) for the inhabitants of the Doom Kingdom. It is the Doomtender's job to serve any new visitors to the Doom Kingdom and make sure that they are not attempting to smuggle in anything that could harm the economy of Doom Kingdom. In their role, the Doomtender will also hear gossip and pass on anything learned to the Doom Council for dissemination within their clown car fortress. Provision Number III: Doom Council The Doom Council is strictly composed of Doom Councilors. The Doom Council will, collectively, assign a Doom Councilor to fill a Government member’s position temporarily should the Government member of the Doom Kingdom remain absent. The Doom Council reserves the right to promote a kong, if deemed to be appropriate, to a status of a Doom Councilor. Provision Number IV: Raiding The Doom Kingdom strongly supports raiding, as long as it is regulated. A kong conducting a raiding mission will need the Doomarshall’s authorization to proceed. The Doom Kingdom Government: Doomfather - Hapapants Doomanager - Lord Hershey Doombassador - White Chocolate Doomarshall - Banned Doomerchant - Bdewakantunwan Doomtender - Franz Ferdinand The Doom Council: - Artigo - Berbers - Caliph - High Chancellor Liq - Karl Godel - RileyAddaff - Supreme Emperor Daeg - Xavier Renegade Angel Source: REVISED Date: 07 July 2015 - 18:10:00 PM Status: ACTIVE --- After reading this, he felt a pressure on his shoulder. When he turned around he was amazed to see Daeg kitted out in a poorly made lime cyclops outfit with a nametag which could not be read correctly. Daeg put his hand over Claude's mouth and uttered the following chilling words: "I see you have something for me to leak, Sogron. Don't worry, it's all ogre now!" Claude is now undergoing therapy and has only uttered the following words: "If only twenty people had not defeated my score... it is all I have ever achieved with my life..." your eating nukes for this one Franz you were warned by DK govt not to try and ridicule me enjoy the nukes .. :war: Edited November 11, 2015 by Stonewall14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keelah Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 Holy grave dig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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