saxasm Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 (edited) Brought to you by the officially sixth best poster on the OWF. All the better ones were busy, but hey, it's still an improvement from UnknownSmurf, who came in thirteenth. He seriously lost to Maelstrom Vortex. How embarrassing. The CyberNations Awards, 2014 As usual, we start with the grand award, Alliance of the Year. It goes to.... *drumroll* ...that's right, they got it this year, too! Alliance of the Year1 DBDC - 332 IRON - 293 New Pacific Order - 17 IRON pulled up close, and almost took the title from the reigning champion. A bit further down, we find Pacifica, seizing the third place, in a pattern that you will soon come to recognize. Because if we look at the most powerful alliance... Most Powerful Alliance1 DBDC - 672 IRON - 343 New Pacific Order - 17 We again find the same order, though DBDC won this one with much more ease. It seems CN only values power in determining who should win the big award. As for what we judge power by, well... Best Military1 DBDC - 472 New Pacific Order - 263 New Polar Order - 15 It seems military strength is an important component of power, and DBDC won in this category, too. In an embarrassing lapse for them, no one remembered to even nominate IRON for this category, so the third place went to Polaris, who performed well under less fortunate circumstances. Another category of interest is the new alliances, the up-and-coming spawn of the old year. Here, we see... Best Rookie Alliance1 FTW - 542 SNX - 303 Reavers - 23 A resounding win for mergers, and especially for FTW. Performing respectably and having solid friends apparently earns you the victory in this category. SNX took the second place, having swiftly achieved a high spot in the sanction race after their merger. As we all know, no one is truly powerful without their friends, and some friends are more powerful than others... Most Powerful Bloc1 AZTEC - 1042 XX - 253 Blank vote - 194 Usual Suspects - 14 A solid victory for AZTEC, who came out of 2014 looking very strong. XX still got some votes, despite their failures towards the end of the year, and impending loss of a member. In third place, we get the blank vote, and slightly less popular on the fourth place, we find US. However, we must, of course, not merely care about power, but also about art... Best Flag1 Blank vote - 182 DBDC / Umbrella's war flag - 173 RIA - 154 NPO / MI6 - 14 Which apparently most people don't, since Blank won best flag. Which ruthless powermongerers won best flag, well, you can see the poll results. Confusion abounds. Another area that is necessary for power and success is activity. The winner in this category is... Most Active Alliance1 DBDC - 422 MI6 - 413 NPO - 23 ...embarrassingly enough for them, not MI6, who lost to DBDC by one vote. Congratulations to them. In third place, we find NPO. Insider informants, who are totally not the announcer himself, reveal that there are currently 44 Pacificans on IRC, so we could totally have won this if only we cared/cheated in the votes. Dammit. Erm. Going to back to our announcements, we find that the next category is Most Honourable Alliance. The winners in this category are... Most Honorable Alliance1 RIA - 232 New Polar Order - 183 New Pacific Order - 16 Apparently, it is a very honourable thing to fight DBDC, as both the alliances in the top three fought them. The third alliance there must clearly be a mistake in the counting, and we will all pretend that we didn't just get bronze in Most Honorable, right, guys? This never happened. Next up are some more "Best Alliance" types of award. First we have Best Diplomatic Team, which was won by... Best Diplomatic Team1 IRON - 392 New Pacific Order - 373 DBDC - 17 Here we see an old trifecta return, though with a new order. It seems that being diplomatic is key to power, too, something which IRON has apparently realized. Another important thing is, of course, economics, where we find that the winners are... Best Economic System1 New Pacific Order - 392 IRON - 353 Umbrella / DBDC - 25 ...the same three alliances, again, though Umbrella took a joint third place. The trend repeats itself. Up next we have another important discipline, recruiting... Best Recruiting Staff1 IRON - 312 R&R - 293 New Pacific Order - 21 Where we see R&R lose its long-held title to IRON. Alas. We also see that both the mass-recruiters of the Gang of Three got a medal in this category. The pattern seems to hold. Beyond the pure arts, like flags, and the pure power disciplines, like diplomacy, we find a mongrel which we label "Propaganda". The winners in this middle-brow contest are... Best Propagandist1 hartfw - 402 Blank vote - 213 Auctor - 184 Schattenmann - 13 ...hartfw. Congratulations! Second, we find peace and quiet, in the form of a blank vote. Third best, after hartfw and going deaf, is Auctor. Congratulations, I guess. In an honourable fourth place, we find Schattenmann. He just didn't make enough comics to get to the top. One more brutal component of propaganda is the art of inspiring fear. This art has been mastered by... Scariest Alliance1 DBDC - 942 IRON - 163 Blank vote / The Stoic Movement - 10 ...DOOOOOOOM. The victory of DBDC is quite overwhelming. Congratulations, you make children wet their beds in terror. In a distant second place, we find IRON, who occasionally make people look over their shoulder a bit. In the third place, we find jointly the blank vote and "The Stoic Movement", who probably aren't all that scary, since I've never heard of them. Another important thing, beyond being powerful, is becoming more powerful. Those who mastered that art during 2014 are... Best Alliance Growth1 IRON - 392 NPO - 223 DT - 18 ...apparently IRON, again. Congratulations, guys. In second place we find, not entirely surprisingly given the general patterns of this poll, NPO. In the third place we find, instead of DBDC, the Dark Templar. Congratulations, guys. Continuing on the pattern of "becoming more powerful", we also have a category for most likely to succeed, where we find that the winners are... Alliance Most Likely to Succeed in 20151 IRON - 252 NPO - 223 DBDC - 17 ...IRON, again. In second and third place we find, again, NPO and DBDC. Being powerful and efficient now seems to be thought to be a good indicator of the future. Alas, as is well known to many, you sometimes have to be nasty to succeed. The nastiest and most immoral alliance of last year were... Most Immoral Alliance 1 DBDC - 462 TOP - 192 MI6 - 18 ...to no great surprise, DBDC. Congratulations, being evil seems to have paid off. It paid of less well for TOP, who are still at war, and MI6, who have no treaties left from it. Sorry guys, apparently being evil isn't enough on its own. It seems that being immoral and being controversial are more or less the same thing on this Planet, since, well... Most Controversial Alliance1 DBDC - 762 TOP / MI6 - 223 Blank vote - 124 Kaskus - 11 We get more or less the same winners. Kaskus is only in here because TOP/MI6 tied each other. Moving on from alliance awards to individual awards for a while, we start with the big one, Player of the Year. Congratulations to... Player of the Year1 The Warrior - 252 Bob - 143 Dajobo - 13 ..The Warrior! The IRON trend seems to be continuing into the individual awards. Congratulations, also, to Bob and Dajobo, for your silver and bronze. In a related category, we find the Most Powerful Player, who was... Most Powerful Player1 Cuba Querida - 792 Dajobo - 143 Letum / Roquentin / Bob - 13 ...Cuba. Apparently being the leader of the Most Powerful Alliance and having the biggest nation in the game helps with winning this category. The victory was quite decisive, with the second and third places being heavily contested. Beyond rewarding pure power, we also have rewards for skill. The Best Alliance Leader for 2014 is... Best Alliance Leader1 The Warrior - 302 Dajobo / Ogaden - 163 Sir William - 15 ...The Warrior! Leading the alliance most likely to succeed does presumably take a fair bit of skill. In second place, we find a crowd-pleaser -- leaders who tried to take the scariest alliance down, and stop the constant laundry-replacements for their children. Congratulations, Dajobo and Ogaden! May your laundry be ever dry. We do, of course, not only award skill and success, but also controversy. This is as true in the alliance awards as in the individual awards. Without further ado, I present to you the Most Controversial Player 2014... Most Controversial Player1 Tywin Lannister - 402 CubaQuerida - 233 bones / Mogar - 13 ...Tywin Laaaaaaannniiisteer! Renowned for strange movie references, vaguely fascistoid ideologies, and an unwavering relentless tide of assault against whatever the current label for DBDC is, this reward is certainly not unexpected. In second place we find his desired target, Cuba. Being Most Immoral and successful draws the ire of many, it seems. Then we get the category involving those who were too good, too well paid, and too busy to do this, leaving these glorious awards to the sixth-best poster... Best Poster1 Gopherbashi - 272 Auctor - 173 SirWilliam - 13 ...pah. Congratulations. Moving on from this embarrassing defeat in a not-at-all bitter manner, I present to you the Nicest Player award... Nicest Player1 Gopherbashi - 182 Blank vote / The Warrior - 173 White Chocolate - 15 ...which goes to Gopherbashi! I guess I just can't stay mad at such a nice guy. Congratulations! In second place we find the Player of the Year, and in a surprise turnaround for the evil Doombirds, we find one of their kind as third nicest! Not even the most immoral alliance is entirely without niceness. Another appreciated trait is funniness.. Funniest Player1 Blank vote / Auctor - 222 Master Hakai - 202 Mogar - 11 ...which apparently none of you possess more of than Blank Vote. Auctor is the most least unfunny guy, though, so congratulations to him! As in the alliance section, we have a Most Likely to Achieve Greatness, which goes to... Player Most Likely to Achieve Greatness in 20151 The Warrior - 282 Blank vote - 223 Lord Hershey - 204 CubaQuerida - 19 ...the leader of the alliance that is most likely to succeed. Well, that makes sense, I suppose. Congratulations, anyway! Occasionally, this place gets new stuff. We like to celebrate that, so it doesn't go away again. The best new addition last year was... Best New Addition1 Comics - 412 EMPs - 323 TAR - 24 ...the comics. Posted by the best propagandists, made by the most least unfunny of players, it only makes sense that they'd be the best addition. In second place, we find more destructive nukes, since we are all destructive sadists at heart here. In third place, we find the Apathy Report. It's about ethics in CN journalism. Alas, there are also some whom we hate. Last years most hated poster was... Most Hated Poster1 Tywin Lannister - 782 Rotavele - 263 Mogar - 19 ...Tyyyyyywiiiin Laaaaannnnniiiiiiisteeer! Really, we all knew that. Controversy doesn't come easy. In second place, we find Rotavele. Good riddance. In third place, we find Mogar. I am not sure whether or not to congratulate the recipients of this award. Having gone through the individual awards, we now have the miscellaneous ones. We start with Best DoW, which goes to... Best Declaration of War (Alliance Topic)1 RIA on DBDC - 302 IRON on Sparta - 263 Blank vote - 234 Umbrella on MI6 - 22 ...RIA, for hitting DBDC. Honourable alliances fighting immoral ones seems to be a crowd-pleaser indeed. After this, we find Best Wall of Text, which goes to... Best Wall of Text1 Sengoku & DBDC Treaty Announcement - 452 Blank vote - 353 Rush rates alliances - 234 Ambition - 19 ...Sengoku, for that literal wall of text that they made. Well deserved. Rush rating alliances was popular this year too, but didn't quite make it. Since I know we're all dying to know, my post made it to seventh place. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Hopefully you'll all come to your senses next year, now that I've made this excellent and completely unbiased awards ceremony post. As always, we like controversies, so here is another controversy category, won by... Biggest Controversy1 DBDC Raids - 362 IRON & DBDC NAP - 203 Umbrella cancelling MI6 - 18 ...DOOM! You don't get to most controversial alliance without making a few controversies. They also, together with IRON, snatched second place. As usual, we are not all serious and controversial. Sometimes, we like things to be funny, such as... Funniest Event1 Tywin in SNX gov - 242 Blank vote - 203 IRON & DBDC NAP - 194 AZTEC rolling Riot Society / Umbrella making MI6 kick out Myth before defending them - 18 ...TYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN LAAAAAAAAAAANNNIIIIIIIIISTEEER being in SNX gov. Really, what were they thinking? Making the most hated poster a senator? Another event which interests people is treaty announcements, so of course there's an award for these too. (Jeez, there are a lot of awards.) The winners are... Best Treaty Announcement1 DBDC-IRON NAP - 322 NPO-Umbrella - 313 Blank vote - 274 DT/IRON / SRA treaty at R&R - 15 ...astoundingly, IRON and DBDC, with NPO and Umbrella coming in second. I seem to recognize this pattern from somewhere. In third we have blank, and fourth, DT, IRON, SRA, and R&R. However, not all diplomatic moves were as well advised as these, so we also have a category for those less fortunate decisions. This year, it was won by... Worst Diplomatic Move1 Valhalla's stance on the war / SNX (Tywin gov/joining AFM/LoSS/GDA) - 202 NpO war on DBDC tech sellers - 183 Blank vote / IRON's behaviour last war - 16 ...TYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYWIIIIIIIIIIN LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNIIIIIISTEEER, along with the rest of the decisions of the early days of Supernova X. However, for once, we got a shared first place, with Valhalla getting a spot in the limelight for their unpopular decision to stay out of the war. At this point your beloved announcer got tired, and heartbroken at not winning anything, and sat down and rested. GeniusInc nobly came to his rescue, knowing the pain of not having won, with his Apathy Report having lost to some Argent thingy. The subsequent awards were penned by him. Best Player Quote1 Blank vote - 362 Artigo "Stonewall, the hero the Doomsphere needs." - 333 "You're going to get beaten badly, but I know you don't particularly care" - 294 "seek peace on your own which we will not give you" MI6 - 27 Apparently all they needed was a bunch of pictures and some weird fonts. Whodaguessed. Now did they deserve these images? That is question we must ask ourselves. Largest E-Peen1 CubaQuerida - 402 Tywin Lannister - 233 Blank vote - 184 O Ya Baby - 17 Whether is it sitting happy at #1 or talking about his daughter, Cuba has managed to accrue the largest "I don't give a !@#$" attitude since.... Well, since my cat this morning. Nonetheless, since my cat was not nominated, Cuba gets the title, which probably won't help matters at all. Best Villain1 DBDC - 462 CubaQuerida - 353 Admin - 21 Like a kid coming home with Halloween candy, DBDC wraps up their presence in this year's awards with Best Villain. With their minions in tow and winning the last war, DBDC seems to be able to do whatever they put their mind to. Including taking everyone else's candy and convincing them that they wanted to give it away. Worst Sphere1 Aftermath - 252 Neutrals - 223 Platysphere / Polarsphere - 20 Perhaps it comes with saying you'll stay out of a war, then acting like it even after you declare war, but whatever it is Aftermath probably has it. Quiet, politically isolated, and still tied to XX, Aftermath has somehow garnered enough attention to rank worst Sphere for 2014. Maybe with this shiny tin foil medal and their new found confidence, they will go on to do great thing next year (including but not limited to winning this award again). Most Annoying/Worst Poster1 Tywin Lannister - 732 Mogar - 173 Blank vote - 164 Neo Uruk - 10 TYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTEEEER! Sorry, GeniusInc, I'll let you continue with your thing now. //saxasm Coming in first with a resounding 73 votes, as compared to Mogar's 17, no one can argue with the efficiency with which Tywin annoys the entirety of Planet Bob. Whether is is writing massive essays on Francoism, or using the word bourgeioises, or however it's spelled (He doesn't know, either), out of context whenever possible, Tywin has proven time and time again that when it comes to being OOC, he can IC with the best of them. At this point, GeniusInc stormed off in a huff about the interruption I caused him during his awards, leaving me to do the last one, which apparently was about the Quietest Power Player. This award was won by...Quietest Power Player1 Blank vote - 262 Bob - 193 TBRaiders - 144 Roquentin / Hime Themis / Letum / Lord Hershey - 13 ...no one. Blank vote won. When you think about it, this really shouldn't surprise anyone, since the quietest power player is obviously going to be someone you haven't heard of. Of course we can't have a popular vote on whom the people hasn't heard of the most. With this failure to appoint a winner of a category, this years awards show is over. I would certainly not have the energy to do even more categories, anyway, so it's no loss that it's over now. I hope you enjoyed it, and that we are still here to enjoy it next year! Edited February 17, 2015 by saxasm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mogar Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 No player avatar catagory? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxasm Posted February 17, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 UnknownSmurf cut a bunch of categories, including the one I had an actual chance at winning. If anyone wants, here are the full votes, so you can do fancy clustering analysis stuff to find who cheated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Hakai Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Congratulations to Blank Vote for 2nd nicest player! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknown Smurf Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Most Controversial Player 1 Tywin Lannister - 40 Only one I have a problem with tbh. Controversial player implies that there are people that like him as well as dislike him. Afaik Tywin has no following. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonewall14 Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 What is blank vote? :v: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo Uruk Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 I demand a recount. Tywin Lannister fucking robbed me of that Most Annoying Poster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CubaQuerida Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 "DBDC seems to be able to do whatever they put their mind to. Including taking everyone else's candy and convincing them that they wanted to give it away." That was a brilliant bit of wordsmithing there sir! I shall spend the rest of 2015 maniacally laughing from my underground lair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Zigur Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 I resent only being second place for largest e-peen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox Fire Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 OMG I'm nowhere on there? :O :( The Warrior!!! o/ Player of the fucking year, bitches! Well deserved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingervites Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Not enough Argent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessKitty Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 where is me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lysistrata Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Thank you for all the work to create this. It was an entertaining read. Good luck to you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Nukem Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Gopherbashi is the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bros Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Funniest player had no winner because I didn't do a sims house last year tbf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icewolf Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 To be frank, I am ashamed of my alliance. They clearly need to sharpen up, and get in shape. A performance like this is just not acceptable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razgriz24 Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 No player avatar catagory? Avatar and sig would have been nice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canik Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 WHAT?! Not even top 4 in largest e-peen? You know you're supposed to get extra points if your e-peen size is undeserved right? -_- Oh well, at least my alliance won best rookie alliance. Thanks to all who voted for us (and a special thanks to anyone who voted for us more than once!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wes the wise Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Excited to see AFT won something! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Zigur Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Guess we see which alliances pushed out the vote for this poll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gopherbashi Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 You're all lucky that I was nice enough not to vote for MI6 in the most active category. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Facade Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 ...embarrassingly enough for them, not MI6, who lost to DBDC by one vote. It takes a lot of activity to keep up with all those multis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeology Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Not enough jrkee or SNX. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxasm Posted February 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Not enough jrkee or SNX. You did win Funniest Event and Worst Diplomatic Move? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeology Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 You did win Funniest Event and Worst Diplomatic Move? Don't forget worst sphere we were a part of that. still needs moar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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