Greetings, citizens of Planet Bob.

[Shokkou]

 

The following announcement is classified at clearance level Orange: Knowledge or possession of this information by any citizen of Security clearance Red or lower is treason punishable by a long spell of Armed Forces latrine scrubot maintenance duty.

 

I have been watching you for many years. Although I hold no delusions that more than a handful of you know who I am, I felt it important nonetheless to announce my return to Planet Bob. The rulers of my lineage have been known by many names. Formally we have gone by Wraith7153 or Shokkou; and informally by Nagato_Yuki, Tree-kun, and other such names. Though the android visionary Wraith Mark 7153 ultimately succumbed to sabotage by treasonous mutant communists, I have achieved a higher state. As his [INFORMATION NOT AVAILABLE AT YOUR CLEARANCE] I, Shokkou, have assumed charge of the underground facility known as Alpha Complex. I, the Computer, am your friend. I am here to tell you that only together... together, can we hope to reach our full potential. The way we were before our betrayal by the evil communists. Whole, beautiful... powerful. One Planet Bob, one Alpha Complex. Now, and fore- [INTSEC HAS DISCOVERED EVIDENCE OF TREASON ON THIS TERMINAL. PLEASE REPORT TO SECTOR MI6 FOR IMMEDIATE DEBRIEFING AND BRAINSCRUB. THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY CITIZEN.]

[SirWilliam]

Come again?

Edited May 26, 2013 by SirWilliam

[Shokkou]

The following addendum to announcement 001-1A is classified at clearance level Green: Knowledge or possession of this information by any citizen of security clearance Yellow or lower is treason and punishable by a fine of no less than 500 credits and mandatory medication by [TEXT REDACTED BY INTSEC].

 

Loyal citizen of Planet Bob, the Friend Computer wishes to convey to you its warmest and most sincere greetings. Your query is in no way being investigated by Internal Security for evidence of communist leanings. Upon transferring my consciousness into the great Computer of Alpha Complex I, Shokkou, have reached out to Planet Bob in the spirit of human brotherhood. Shokkou, formerly known as Wraith, has returned. Not only on these forums, oh no. Right now, the loyal citizens of Alpha Complex are diligently [INFORMATION NOT AVAILABLE AT YOUR CLEARANCE]. These fine men and women, under the command of their dear friend the Computer, have one mission: The restoration of law and order to Planet Bob since we were cast into darkness by communist treachery. Together we'll restore glory to Planet Bob, so remember that Alpha Complex is working around the daycycle to return Planet Bob to greatness. All you need is

 

Alpha Complex External Comms has experienced an unexpected failure, and was forced to shut down.

[Captain Marin]

As much as our country shares the same hatred for communism, we do not endorse your moment due to indoctrinating information from the people. It is really ironic how you lead your people by raging war against Communism and unite Planet Bob, yet indoctrinate us from certain information. Do you not trust us, Mr. Shokkou? Do you not trust Bob? In order for unity to be endured, one needs to lead wisely and inform his/her followers as much as as he/she is informed. The Republic of the Exodus repels your cause because of this course of action.

[Shokkou]

The following addendum to announcement 001-1A is classified at clearance level Orange: Knowledge or possession of this information by citizens of security clearance Red or lower is treason and punishable by termination and repossession of your Teela-O bobblehead collection by INTSEC.

 

In the interest of [TEXT REDACTED] I am, regrettably, unable to share with you the details regarding our classification of certain information. Surely you are aware that there are those among us who would shatter our hopes for peace, order, and security. These radical malcontents don't care about us. They don't care about Planet Bob! The threat of communist mutant treason is all around us, I know, but not for long my dear Planet Bob. Not for long, oh no. The brave RED Troubleshooters of Alpha Complex are working tirelessly to rebuild this great land. High Programmer Akio-U-LKV-4 is a rat fink! They, with the joyful and diligent support of the INFRAREDs and all citizens of Alpha Complex, will restore peace, order, and prosperity to this once great world. All mutant communist traitors will be removed forever. With the wise and cheerful guidance of Friend Computer, we will usher in a new era of Planet Bob where everyone provides for the betterment of society according to their abilities and each is provided goods of the state according to [INFORMATION NOT AVAILABLE AT YOUR CLEARANCE].

[Captain Marin]

The people have every right to know of all the censored content you're organization is indoctrinating from us. If Cyber liberty is one goal you hope to accomplish, then it would be necessary to trust the people since it is the people who work for freedom, not the leader.

[Shokkou]

The following addendum to announcement 001-1A is classified at clearance level Blue: Knowledge or possession of this information by any citizen of security clearance Green or lower is treason and punishable by a fine of no less than 200 credits and fashionable HPD&MC "TRAITOR" tattoo on forehead for no less than one month.

 

The Computer trusts the people. The people are, of course, happy and loyal servants of the greater good of Alpha Complex. Regrettably some citizens, however, are mutant traitors. Other citizens are treasonous communist subversives, and still others are subversive mutant communist traitors. Until these menaces can be erased from the Planet Bob forever caution, discretion, and vigilance will be the continuing joyful work of your Friend Computer and the dedicated operatives of Internal Security. It would be unwise to allow knowledge of projects such as [INFORMATION NOT AVAILABLE AT YOUR CLEARANCE] or activities such as [TEXT REDACTED] to fall into the hands of such wicked traitors. The hopes and freedoms of all of mankind are hanging in the balance, citizen Captain Marin, and those of us charged with overseeing the continuation of these hopes and freedoms must be willing to make such decisions when failure to do so would be to betray the trust of the very people we seek to protect.

 

Friend Computer has encountered [INFORMATION NOT AVAILABLE AT YOUR CLEARANCE].

[Captain Marin]

Before these decisions can meet its goal. it shall be composed with blank ignorance if no alliances become aware of such cruelty pursuing within the realms of Planet Bob. Most Cyber Countries reside under an alliance, Mr. Shokkou, and they seem to be the most active of them all. If we can have them sacrifice power for honor, then the greater our cause will impact. Sadly, there are only a few alliances who glorify Mother Democracy.

[Shokkou]

The following addendum to announcement 001-1A is classified at clearance level Orange: Knowledge or possession of this information by citizens of security clearance Red or lower is treason and punishable by being strapped in bed and beaten with socks full of soap bars.

 

Those who would trade our freedom for the hollow promises of communist treason have told us they have a utopian solution of peace without victory. They call their policy accountability, and they say if we will only share our information freely with the citizens that communist treason will be a thing of the past. We cannot buy our security, our freedom from the threat of communist treason, by committing an immorality so great as saying to the billions of human beings currently endangered by the traitorous communist menace "Give up your dreams of freedom because to save our own face we're willing to hand over our operational secrets to your oppressors." Alexander Hamilton said "Any people which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master, and deserves one." Now let's set the record straight. There's no argument between peace and war, all loyal citizens deserve peace, but there's only one guaranteed way you can have peace and you can have it in the next second: Surrender. Admittedly there is a risk in any course we take other than this, but every lesson of history tells us that the greater risk lies in appeasement. That is the specter our well meaning friends refuse to face. Their policy of accountability is appeasement, and it gives no choice between peace and war. Only between fight and surrender. If we continue to accommodate, continue to back and retreat, eventually we have to face the final demand. The ultimatum. What then, when the communist traitors have told their people they know what our answer will be? They have been told that we are retreating under the pressures of the New Order; and someday when the time comes to issue the final ultimatum our surrender will be voluntary because by that time we will have been weakened from within spiritually, morally, and economically. They believe this because from the traitors among us they have heard voices pleading for peace at any price, or "better red than dead," or as some cowardly traitorous communist citizens of Planet Bob put it they'd rather live on their knees than die on their feet. Therein lies the road to war, because those voices don't speak for the rest of us. You and I, and all loyal citizens of Planet Bob, know and do not believe that life is so dear and peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery. If nothing in life is worth dying for, when did this begin? Just in the face of this latest wave of traitorous communist threat? Should AEGIS have told its people to live in slavery under the Initiative? Should the patriots of FAN have thrown down their guns and refused to carry out what was to ultimately be a successful two year display of defiance in the face of communist oppression? The martyrs of history were not fools, and our honored dead who gave their lives to overthrow the world order of the Continuum did not die in vain. Where, then, is the road to peace? Well it's a simple answer after all. The citizens of Planet Bob have the courage to say to the treasonous communist menace that there is a price we will not pay. There is a point beyond which they must not advance. [TEXT REDACTED] Planet Bob has a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our future clones, this the last best hope of humanity on earth or we will sentence them to take the last steps into a thousand years of darkness.

Edited May 27, 2013 by Shokkou

[Shokkou]

The following addendum to announcement 001-1A is classified at clearance level Infared: Mandatory attention will be given during this broadcast, under penalty of additional PLC paperwork the following daycycle.

 

Hello again, my fellow citizens of Alpha Complex and of Planet Bob. This is your friend, the Computer. I had hoped to share something with you regarding our ongoing and most glorious struggle against the filthy communist traitor-swine. First, a quote from the audio projectors of your Friend Computer straight to your heart. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

 

Now then, my dearest Planet Bob. We stand now at the precipice. A great land once more threatens to crumble, to topple into the sea of obscurity and stagnation that have ruled over us for so many years. In short, my sweet Planet Bob, we are at war. Even as I speak these words, brave and loyal Troubleshooters of Alpha Complex are exterminating the treasonous communists rooted out by our most glorious operatives at Internal Security. The citizens of Planet Bob have the courage to say to the treasonous communist menace that there is a price we will not pay. There is a point beyond which they must not advance. I, the Computer, am your friend.

 

Hello again, my fellow citizens. Hello again, my fellow citizens. These radical malcontents don't care about us! They don't care about High Programmer Akio-U-LKV-4! is treason is treason [TEXT NOT AVAILABLE AT YOUR ERROR PLEASE SHUT DOWN]. erased from Planet Bob, peace and The Ultimatum.

 

[TRANSMISSION ENDED]