Hereno Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 I like the flag, at least. New Fark Order? Let's treaty and roll your former bloc together. What could go wrong? So much this. That flag is awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docus maximus Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Cable, this pathetic attempt to seize power is beneath contempt. You have tried this before, and I hope you will recall the end result from the last time! Let me start by saying, as a former council officer, and current commanding officer of the Farkistan Defense Forces, that you do not have the FDF's support in this. Furthermore, while you have managed to snow enough of a slim plurality of our membership into voting for you to "lead" our AA, you do NOT have the support of anywhere near enough of our membership to usurp the council! You need to get off your high horse and talk to the general membership of our AA! Maybe this can still be resolved peacefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D34th Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 New Fark Order, I like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RevolutionaryRebel Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 If only slayer99 was here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Buscemi Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Lol, nice try. Too bad. This would've been great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
905tf Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Emergency Charter of the New Farkistan Order Preamble: Farkistan is ruled by Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Drew Curtis (PBUH) through whom all things are possible, and from whom we derive the privilege of calling ourselves FARK In our leader's absence, we do our best to govern ourselves according to his holy drunken example, as revealed to us in the magnificent realm of Fark.com.Article 1: The Lord Drunken President Eternal / The LDP of Farkistan "submits" to no one. He is master of all of the New Farkistan Order's bidness and shall be revered as such. // The LDP shall serve for life, or until Bob explodes as a result of the Sun turning into a red giant and swallowing all the inner planets of the Solar System or until the LDP decides to resign. Erections are for chumps and hopeful pharmaceutical reps. /// The LDP shall have the power to: - Do whatever he pleases, whenever he pleases to do it. //// The LDP shall be required to, at the beginning of the last full week of each month, post a list of Farkers who have displeased His Excellency and require them to serve penance as he deems necessary. ///// In the event that the LDP fails to report for duty for a period of 7 days, or resigns, the Castalan shall assume the role of LDP for the remainder of his natural life or until he resigns. The Castalan will also serve as temporary Lord Drunken President during an approved absence (jury duty, hangover, whatever the LDP says he's doing on his days off). In the event that both the LDP and the Castalan are both too drunk to reach the keyboard for seven days, both empty seats shall be determined by 1x1 mortal combat between the two strongest nations in the alliance. Or they could play a best of three UNO tournament. Whatever.Article 2: The Castalan / The Castalan isn't one of those unholy furries, he is the Lord Drunken President's second in command. He will carry out the will of the LDP in the management of the New Farkistan Order and her diplomatic efforts. // The Castalan is chosen by the sitting LDP whenever the spot is vacant. If the sitting Castalan is deemed unworthy by the LDP, the Castalan may be cast down the ranks or sentenced to ZI -- depending on the LDP's mood and how well the Castalan curried his favor in the past. /// In the event that the LDP has absolutely lost his Farking mind, the Castalan is free to coup the LDP by force if necessary, or he may also challenge the LDP's leadership by playing a "best of three games" UNO tournament.Article 3: The Walken / The Walken (his title was simply still too awesome to change) is in charge of enforcing discipline amongst the Farkers. Minor infractions shall be dealt with at the Walken's discretion, with punishments ranging from being mocked in a hilarious photoshop all the way to exile (subject to LDP or Castalan approval). // The Walken is also the gate-keeper. He shall spend his days sorting through the millions of potential Fark applicants seeking for the keymaster. Yes, I realize that has Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis switching places. No, I do not care. Anyone who successfully meets the Walken's standards may be admitted to the alliance. /// The Walken serves at the pleasure of the LDP and may be replaced at the LDP's whim.Article 4: Grand Admiral Neil Diamond (GAND): / The GAND is named for the biggest baddest singer in the universe, not some pantywaste octopus-manling. He rules over the military with an iron fist and is answerable to the LDP's slightest whim. // The GAND serves at the pleasure of the LDP and may be replaced at the LDP's whim.Article 5: Watch Your Back, Hippies / Any Farker caught spying, lying, crying, trying or vying against the LDP, the Castalan, the New Farkistan Order or anyone else is subject to immediate ZI. // Any Farker forgetting to kneel before the LDP or Castalan when he enters the public or private Farkistan channels by using the proper "ohali?" greeting shall be subject to a channel ban for the first offense. Additional offenses can and will be subject to punishment up to and including exile or ZI. /// Any Farker forgetting to update their nation stats on sight, forgetting to fly the New Farkistan Order flag in their profiles, or provide a delicious souffle as commanded by the GAND is subject to punishment at the GAND's discretion. //// Any Farker who finds it amusing to forget to post in the LDP's annual Birthday thread not only gets ZI'd, but banned from the IRC channels and banned from eating any delicious red velvet cake. ///// Farkers are required to register on the Farkistan forums to be considered members of Farkistan. Failure to do so means that you're on your own when war hits, no aid, no chocolate chip cookie dough. ////// Farkers are required to display "Fark" as their alliance affiliation and their forum member number in their nation profile at all times. Failure to do so, and to fail to comply with the Walken's (or his designated representative's) request to do so, may result in being expelled from the alliance. /////// Any other rules the Farkers must follow will be issued as Edicts at the LDP's discretion.Article 6: Forum Management /None of your beeswax, that's how we roll. You got a problem, send us a memo.Article 7: Man Up, Francis / Don't bellyache, get a belly ache. Lift some weights, walk it off. Don't waste our time crying and moaning, stand up and do what we tell you to do! Your momma ain't here and this is the grown ups' table. Deal with it.Article 8: Slashies / To change a slashie in this charter, the LDP just has to change it at his discretion. Article 9: Miscellaneous Ass Covering / All foreign treaties and agreements entered into under any previous charter shall remain enforceable against the Farkistani government under this charter. Ratified and effective on 1st May, 2013 His Excellency, Cable 77 - Lord Drunken President of the New Farkistan Order His Excellency, 905 - Lord Castalan of the New Farkistan Order His Royal Cowbell Majesty, HappyTheHobo - Walken of the New Farkistan Order ------- As for further housekeeping, the NFO shall retain ownership of #farkistan, our public channel on IRC, as well as our forums at www.farkistan.org. Also, the "FARK" and "Farkistan" AA's are under protection of the NFO during this time of transition. Once the final in-game designation has been decided (NFO, New Farkistan Order or FARK), it shall be announced accordingly. Thank you for your patience. -905 Castalan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xoindotnler Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 That flag could and should be done better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
President S O Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 How does this benefit NPO? Vassal state, Auctor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachrat Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 As most of you know, Cable77 left Fark. When he came back, many of us worked to enact a special amendment to our Charter to ensure he could not ever again get his bunioned toes back into the hobnailed jackboots of oppression. Unfortunately, peace-loving er, non-paranoid ... Well, let's just say not enough people were adequately alarmed, and some were lulled into complacency by his campaigns of deceit and lies. Obviously, a few were hoping for just this tragedy. The sad truth is that Cable77 and 905 have absolutely no authority for this insurrection, which will fail. The legitimate Total Fark Council remains the democratic leadership of Fark. We strongly urge the rest of Bob to stay out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dcrews Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 This is interesting to say the least. The flag could use some work. Best of luck to whoever represents the will of the people of Farkistan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Apocalypse Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 is this real life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eejack Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 The old guard thinks they can just dust off their rockers and take over. We would prefer not to be dragged into the internal politics of another alliance. /Thank you very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahiel Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 The Total Fark Council is still the illegitimately erected government of Farksitan. This power grab will not stand. Cable77 and 905 are now considered enemies of the state and will be treated as such. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Branimir Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Well executed joke. Kudos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RevolutionaryRebel Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 is this real life?This is just fantasy.Caught in a coup attemptNo escape from TotalFarketry(?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenny N Karl Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 April 1st, 1 month late? I'd send congrats, but I am waiting to hear from Drew first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmperorNortonI Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Over my dead body. Seems like my inactivity has led you to forget I even exist. I think you two will find it rather difficult to pull this off, both in terms of access and getting Farkers to follow you. This type of thing didn't work 6 years ago when Farkistan was new, and it certainly won't work now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lelula Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Ratified and effective on 1st May, 2013 His Excellency, Cable 77 - Lord Drunken President of the New Farkistan Order His Excellency, 905 - Lord Castalan of the New Farkistan Order His Royal Cowbell Majesty, HappyTheHobo - Walken of the New Farkistan Order ------- As for further housekeeping, the NFO shall retain ownership of #farkistan, our public channel on IRC, as well as our forums at www.farkistan.org. Also, the "FARK" and "Farkistan" AA's are under protection of the NFO during this time of transition. Once the final in-game designation has been decided (NFO, New Farkistan Order or FARK), it shall be announced accordingly. Thank you for your patience. -905 Castalan This is an outrage! As the Clown Sweater speaking for myself and the rightful Cowbell, OutKast, who happens to be busy at the moment, Team Drunkbell denounces this coup, as well as our now former boss Walken HappytheHobo. The TF Council is rightfully elected. We support the TF Council. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchellBade Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 (edited) I think you two will find it rather difficult to pull this off, both in terms of access and getting Farkers to follow you. Well that's hardly a fun civil war. Anyway, here's to hoping this escalates into chaos cause chaos is :awesome: Edited May 1, 2013 by MitchellBade Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Hole Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander shepard Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 That's probably why they did it. Over my dead body. Seems like my inactivity has led you to forget I even exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stewie Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Deinos disbands and FARK has a coup... Is it my birthday? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vindicator Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Well, this is interesting. Fark and/or NFO, please get your affairs in order and then talk to your allies about this sudden change, maybe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rush Sykes Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Boring. Unoriginal. Fark has played this song and dance before, and anyone buying it is a fool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomInterrupt Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 I suspect my alliance will back this false government, but I will not myself. The TF Council has always been the real power behind Fark and they should be restored immediately. If this shall decend into war (which I hope it will not) you have my support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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