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  • Tsar's Poems and Storys.
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  • Margrave's Musings.
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Found 10 results

  1. Both Polar and ODN have been working on improving relations with each other over the past few years. We took the first step a couple years ago with the initial treaty and we're ready to solidify our friendship with an upgrade to that treaty. We are looking forward to our continued collaboration to create the perfect beverage for Pingu's Pub with the coldest ice Polar can supply. o/ ODN o/ Polar
  2. You never close your eyes anymoreWhen I kiss your lipsAnd there's no tenderness like beforeIn your fingertipsYou're trying hard not to show it (baby)But baby, baby I know it You've lost that lovin' feelin'Woah, that lovin' feelin'You've lost that lovin' feelin'Now it's gone, gone, gone woah Now there's no welcome look in your eyesWhen I reach for youAnd you've started to criticizeAll the little things I doIt makes me feel like cryingCause baby' something beautiful's dying You've lost that lovin' feelin'Woah, that lovin' feelin'You've lost that lovin' feelin'Now it's gone, gone, gone, woah
  3. OsRavan is highly upset that TPF might nuke NPO for a really long time, and as a lifelong crusader against reps, PZI, aggressive war, and everything evil in this world, except when he's doing it, he is shocked at the implications for this planet, which he has done everything in his power to preserve, except when he isn't. OsRavan has been a stalwart ally to Pacifica for years, brokering special golden parachutes for ODN at every turn, and supporting them in every shenanigan that has brought their star low in the global eye. Most especially, OsRavan was central to the dicking down TPF got in the Equilibrium War intrigues, the so-called handshake peace agreements negotiated in secret to create a predetermined outcome. I say TPF recognize OsRavan's special concerns and investments in this affair, and grant him honorary baby-eating NPO membership, and nuke the everloving piss out of him until they have no more nukes or he has no more words, forever and ever amen. Who's with me? Your vote to deep fry OsRavan is secret.
  4. Good afternoon, I'm Schattenmann, your humble fact-checker for this mini-presentation of Os's World, your number one source for news from that land beyond the clouds, that happy land somewhere over the rainbow where the sky is green, the sun is purple, and trees grow down. Today, we visit that wonderful land again, beckoned by the claims of His Backwardness that: To do homage to the man, I say : :::::::chortle:::::: : Opposition is Action Let us first channel that biggest jerkwad of philosophy, the man who gave us pedantry, Socrates, and ask first: what is it to "oppose"? This is a word which implies action, oppose is a verb, it is not a passive state, but affirmative. We understand that to oppose something means to stand in its way. If a man opposes something, he acts to stop it. If a man is opposed to something, he moves to separate himself from it. We can greater understand this concept of opposition by considering its opposite, support. Support, too, is an action. Support enables things. A treaty is support, war is support, diplomatic pressure is support. Opposition is powerful. If rulers and alliances took stock of their ideals, and stood upon them, the world would shudder. Truth is Found in Action Now, let us examine OsRavan's record of opposition to reparations, eternal wars, etc. For it is in a man's action that we find the truth.In his perverted part in a perverted play, he directed the forces of ODN in enforcement of peace terms in the DH-NPO War which included $2.427 Billion in reparations ($1B from Legion alone), and a month long extended war against the top tier of Pacifica. In the Dave War, ODN itself demanded an extended war of top-tier MCXA nations. In the TOP-C&G War, ODN stood shoulder-to-shoulder with its allies and coalition in demands for reps totaling over $1 Billion and tens-of-thousands of tech (most of it blood money to GOONS), and 40,000 tech from Legion. It is most often the case that when we discuss the historical sins of an alliance, we must be careful to remember that their sins have been across multiple administrations, and that distance makes for penance. Not so with ODN and OsRavan. OsRavan himself led the Network in each of these wars and always unfalteringly waved the banner of his bloodthirsty allies. OsRavan Found False Os's World is a weird place, indeed. It is a world where a man finds it perfectly sane to decry every kind of injustice who has himself committed his personal influence, and the military might of his alliance to the extraction of outrageous reps; who has himself accepted reps; who has put the weight of his alliance behind the acts he himself decries over and over again, enthusiastically. Why must we continue to examine OsRavan? OsRavan breathes rarefied air as one of very few men whose person came to define an AA and in many ways an era. His person is political, to discuss the person of OsRavan is to discuss ODN. Where OsRavan lies, the truth must be brought forth. This is no petty personal squabble, but a question of the state of things. As long as twisted manipulators such as OsRavan are allowed to spew their backwards histories, alliances will continue to emulate them. History is the sum of actions of men, OsRavan's opposition could have meant an entirely different world, but despite his repetitive cries that his principles give no regard to politics, we see that he has no principles, and he perpetuated a world without principle. So, my dear reader, on this, the 1,752nd day since OsRavan forced reparations from Cult of Justitia, and the 1,751st day since he began denying it, I'm your host Schattenmann bidding you good day from all of us in Os's World. Os's World 1 Os's World 2 Source: A Valentine from TPF
  5. Good evening, and welcome to this special edition of This Week in the Network, your number one source for all news orange and pulpy from that shining beacon of peace and friendship, the Orange Defense Network. I'm your host Schattenmann, TWiN is on! Lay of the Land Tonight we're pleased to bring you this special international edition of TWiN. For those of you who haven't been paying attention, here's the scoop. On January 22, 2014, DBDC declared war on World Task Force in sport to celebrate its second anniversary. Per usual, DBDC nations have been swapping AAs between IRON, Doom Squad, Swash Plates and Tail Rotors, Dark Templar, etc. WTF has not played the game, continuing their defense regardless. And so the stage was set for the kind of drama that has always been set up by DBDC's dual membership partners. The Case of Noob Cake One nation in particular, Noob Cake, has sought to escape justice by applying to the Orange Defense Network, prompting a diplomatic mission to ask when the war would end. And were that the end of it, my friends, what a boring show this would be indeed. Fortunately for us, ODN's diplomat began his visit with undertones that the Network is done with this war and so should be WTF. Rankled, and rightly so, by this interloping and already fired up by two months of war, WTF's members gave an ear-burning reply to Shinnra. As the responses heated up, Shinnra was joined by newly-minted Secretary General Peaches and bucovina, who apparently arrived to throw gasoline on the fire Peaches of course lightens the situation by calling WTF a pack of savages for responding in anger to ODN's thinly-veiled threats. I do believe he might even have got some mud on the edge of his petticoats. bucovina, not being an actual diplomat but a concerned citizen on a private mission, chimes in Yes, why don't you mind your manners, WTF, because ODN is here to tell you that you take those threats with a smile and say thank you or we're coming back with a thousand school marms to knock some manners into your knuckles. And so they went round. WTF has made clear that they will defend themselves until they have had their fill, and that is not likely anytime soon. ODN's diplomatic mission finally punctuated their point once more: Something else. Scary stuff. All this begs the question, what in Mod's name were they thinking? It is clear that ODN believed WTF to be naïve and so stupid as to be pliable by the most blunt conversation. These are not the overtures of practiced diplomats, but what we might expect from a startup protectorate. Clearly, a new approach was needed. A reboot in the tradition of foreign affairs reboots. Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies And now we come to the final act in this comedy of errors. Sensing that ODN's first thread had run its course, Secretary General Peaches sough to reset the diplomatic process by opening a new thread. Now, bear with me, folks, I know reading hurts, but you want to catch all the patronization, all the lies, all the condescension here in its entirety, you won't be disappointed. The Final Word We here at This Week are incensed. We're incensed that ODN has threatened to intervene in the WTF-DBDC War because ODN has decided it's time for the war to end. We're incensed that the Secretary General has made such undeniably wild claims. Now you listen here, Mr. Secretary General, I think I speak for all of us (as usual) when I say we're just here for the fireworks. I for one understand, appreciate, and respect WTF's isolationism, and I don't imagine they think of a diplomat rush to watch your trainwreck as an opportunity. I was reticent about posting, but your speech is geared toward an international audience because you're on CNtel and because you know we're watching. I for one find your entire speech to be . . . wild. ODN is not the oldest democracy, that's GATO. ODNistas vote at rates as low as 13% (during war, when activity is highest); Polaris is an autocracy with an elected council, our last election saw 32% participation. ODN is not in the slightest a "defensive" alliance. You are an alliance that "defends" allies by disregarding all circumstance. When MK attacked NPO for no reason except to curb their growth, you followed. Now DBDC has attacked WTF for no reason except to remove them and curb their growth, you will follow. In this last war, too, begun by bald aggression to deliberately start a global war, ODN was right there beside its allies where it will always be and where it belongs. You are an aggressive alliance to your core because you do what you're asked and "don't let friends burn." ODN is not an alliance that favors white peace. You favor whatever your allies favor (as you've said here over and over) and if your allies want reps, ODN's military, membership, and government are behind them as you did in the Doom House-NPO War. If ODN is in any way "for" white peace right now it is because that is simply the prevailing sentiment and ODN is nothing if not followers, because your elementary "friends" foreign policy precludes all judgement or autonomy. It doesn't matter why, it only matters who. And as your longest-serving Secretary General OsRavan has said in a rare moment of clarity, "When you back something with military force in a coalition you don't get to shift the blame." You frame this war as an inevitable clash of cultures. It is anything but! WTF's culture is in no way in conflict with DBDC's culture. There is nothing intrinsically at odds between these two alliances. This is a war of opportunistic election on DBDC's part, and if ODN enters it will be the same: opportunistic aggression. This is not a clash of cultures, it is a war gone bad. This bit of intellectual dishonesty is so goofy as to be offensive. How dare you attempt to equate WTF's resolve to fight to the death with past suicide runs. WTF does not need to moralize its stance, DBDC did that for them when they attacked WTF for sport. ODN does not do whatever it can to promote a friendly or moderate environment for all. You ally with strongmen and then back them up in whatever moves they make, because they're your "friends." If ODN wants to promote moderation and friendliness, it will cancel its DBDC treaty and mind its own business. Your treaty facilitates this very situation because DBDC knows, knows, that its nations are useless against conventionally-constructed AAs, and that its allies are the ones who'll be doing the fighting when things go bad. And voila! here you are threatening war in the name of peace, friendliness, and moderation. The entire tone of this speech is insulting. It is patronizing and makes it clear that ODN thinks of itself as the Great White Father here to inform and civilize these weird neutral savages. For my part, WTF, I must say bravo. You have staked out your position and stuck to your principles in the face of overwhelming challenges. Not because you are naïve, but because you are extremely well aware of what is happening, as you have demonstrated. Collectible Sig And now a This Week tradition: Your TWiP Collectible Sig, crafted for all you TWiNnies out there in TV land from the most special screenshot of the week. I think this one speaks for itself. That's it for This Week, thank you for joining us tonight. From everyone here in the studio on this, the twenty-seventh day since DBDC confused isolationist for pacifist, goodnight, and good luck!
  6. In defense of Orange Defense Network, Doom Squad hereby enacts Article V from The Cure for Scurvy Accords. As a result of the Article V, Doom Squad issues a declaration of war on Fark.
  7. Orange Unity Treaty Preamble: We, the members of the Orange Team, come together once again to promote the stability and prosperity of all nations that make their home on the Orange color sphere. Article I: Sovereignty All signatories of the Orange Unity Treaty recognize that they are independent and therefore mantain that they are sovereign entities. Article II: Non-Aggression All signatories will refrain from taking action that may be deemed as aggressive against any other countersigned party. If a nation is found to be in violation of this article, they are to cease any and all aggressive actions and offer peace immediately. The violator will be required to pay reparations to the defendant to make them whole. This article may be legally superseded in the event that a signatory has a conflicting higher level defense pact activated. Article III: Espionage Signatories are to refrain from engaging in any act of espionage against any other countersigned party. Article IV: Free Trade All signatories are encouraged to participate in the trading of resources with any other co-signed nation for their mutual benefit. Article V: The Orange Senate I - The Senators of the Orange Team are required to promote the general well-being and prosperity of the entire Orange Sphere when casting their votes on proposed legislation. II - The 5 elected Orange Senators are required to communicate with one another regularly in a co-operative manner. III - The Senators are encouraged to seek out the advice of their respective alliance governments and of their counterparts on the Orange Senate before casting their votes on legislation. IV - In all cases, the prosperity of the majority of the Orange Team is to come before the individual Senator's well-being. Article VI - Admittance I - This treaty shall be open to all Orange Team alliances, provided that they agree to be bound by these terms. II - Potential members may petition to join by contacting any of the member alliances who may sponsor them for membership. III - A new signatory may be added to the pact by a unanimous vote of the current members. Article VII - Cancelation Any signatory may withdraw from this pact by giving private notice to all other signatories. The withdrawal will be considered official 72 hours after notice is given. Signed for the Independent Republic of Orange Nations, The Warrior - President, IRON Councilor Third King - Secretary of State, IRON Councilor Blade 619 - Minister of Defense, IRON Councilor Rhizoctonia - Minister of Internal Affairs, IRON Councilor Mandarijn - Minister of the Vault, IRON Councilor Signed for the Grand Lodge of Freemasons, Lemax, Grand Master Walking Dead, Grand Knight Timmy09, Grand Treasurer Penedono, Grand Superintendent Sherman, Grand Chancellor Signed for R&R, President - Bambi Vice President - cmf0203 Minister of Foreign Affairs - MutedFaith Signed for the Orange Defense Network, Secretary General: OsRavan Assistant Secretary General: eZe Secretary of Defense: masterofwind Secretary of State: Zaxon Secretary of Interior: Badpoet Secretary of Economics: PeachesIII Senate LX: bucovina Hawspiper1983 Peonn Razorpara Stealthypenguin93
  8. Preamble This Optional Defense Optional Aggression Pact between the Orange Defense Network and the North Star Federation is signed in the spirit of friendship, co-operation, and harmony. Article I: Sovereignty The signatories agree that this treaty does not infringe upon the others' sovereignty, and that they are both completely separate organizations. Article II: Non-Aggression The signatories agree not to conduct any acts of warfare, espionage, or other acts of aggression against the other. Article III: Intelligence In the event that one signatory gains intelligence that would be of relevance to the other signatory, both signatories agree to share this information between them. Article IV: Optional Defense If one signatory comes under assault from a hostile alliance, they may ask the other alliance for military aid. The other signatory has the option of giving military aid and assistance. Article IV. Optional Aggression If either signatory intends to undertake an aggressive military action against a third-party, it shall communicate this information to the other promptly. The other signatory is not obliged to provide military support under these circumstances, but they may decide to do so. Article VI: Aid At any time a signatory of this treaty may ask for aid of any kind from the other. The other signatory has the option to refuse the request for any valid reason. This request is non-binding. Article VII: Termination At any time either signatory may cancel this Pact for any reason. Once notice is given through proper diplomatic channels, a seventy-two (72) hour grace period will be in effect in which this treaty will remain active. For The Orange Defense Network: Secretary General: Overlord Shinnra - Spawner of Overlords, Tendrils of Agony Assistant Secretary General: Eze Secretary of the Interior: Hawspiper Secretary of Economics: nomnomnom Secretary of Defense: Zaxon Secretary of State: Walling Senate LVIII: OsRavan, Bucovina, StealthyPenguin, Peaches, Nikolay For North Star Federation Emperor: Crv24 Regent: Saxplayer Commander of Foreign Affairs: Empirical Commander of Internal Affairs: Alastair Commander of Defence: Lord Charlie Commander of Brown: Brycemas NSF's 1st Parliament Grealind- Permanent PoppaClam Lordjamesmca
  9. It is my sad duty to announce that I have had to undertake a (mostly bloodless) coup in order to take the reins of the Orange Defense Defence Network at this critical time in the alliance's history. I have nothing against Overlord Shinnra personally - a fine fellow in many respects - but some jobs simply call for penguins rather than overlords. On behalf of our Viceroy, Fleet Admiral Doctor Electron Sponge, OBE, PHD, COD, ASAP, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, Conqueror of the Antarctic Lands in General and Godwanaland in Particular, Also Hello (may he live for eternity and his beard grow ever more luxuriant), and in my capacity as God Emperor (Acting) of the ODN, I bring you this important message: It was eight years ago today Sergeant Poper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile. So may I introduce to you the act you've known for all these years: Sergeant Poper's Orange Defending Band. It's wonderful to be here: it's certainly a thrill. You're such a lovely audience,we'd like to take you home with us we'd love to take you home. Come to my pub to celebrate with us. If you know us, you know it's always a warm welcome and a good time at ODN HQ. If you don't know us, you'll just have to trust the nice penguin on that. So that about wraps it up. Happy birthday to us. Orange caek and huggles for all! I now return you to your regularly scheduled overlord.
  10. Declaration of Existence, Disbandment, and Rebranding Many moons ago, the alliances of UCN, FEAR and Wolfpack came together to form an MDAP bloc, Blood for Friends. BFF continued through much difficulty, including the disturbing disbandment of UCN and reform into Europa. NEW was added to the bloc, and a while later, FEAR, Wolfpack and Europa merged into the new alliance of BFF. Unfortunately, some things aren't meant to be. BFF exploded rather dramatically, and while some stayed on to try to keep her alive, it simply was done. Today we declare our intent to rebrand Blood for Friends as Los Pollos Hermanos, a sleeker, slicker, more laid-back version of our former home. Escaping the bad name of BFF is part of that process, and as such we have chosen our new image. At this time, our charter is forthcoming. We are currently operating under an interim triumvirate which as as follows: Triumvirate: Ernesto Che Guevara, Kongo Jack, Emperador Del Oeste (Chax, Deebo, Minister of Silly Walks) We are protecting the BFF AA until further notice. The Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence and Sadism is protecting Los Pollos Hermanos for a period which they will specify in this thread while we reevaluate our ties. We will not pretend this will be smooth or easy, but we cannot simply sit by and watch our community go the way of so many before. If this is to be our final throw before we all punch out, then so be it. For the final time, o/ BFF. You had a good run. Forums: http://w11.zetaboards.com/Los_Pollos_Hermanos/index/ IRC: #breakfast on Coldfront And so ends the least enthusiastic DoE ever. Apathy is our main export. And meth.
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