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Found 18 results

  1. GATO's top ten ranking! We passed GATO in score and nukes. Onwards and upwards... until you pass us again. What, you were expecting something else? Also happy holidays!
  2. It’s Halloween and NATO is celebrating by taking part in that scariest of things: democracy. Elections were held over the last two weeks and these are the results: For Triumvirate: Dev0win Gearhead Warden For Chief Justice: Not the Carlton A spirited race was held for both offices and we look forward to an exciting fall/winter term.
  3. To begin this I simply must lead with a Merry Christmas to all of CN! If you don't celebrate Christmas, then Happy Holidays! If you don't celebrate the holidays either, you're probably a watery tart that has no fun. Over the recent months of war and for quite a long time before that it has been a pleasure to work with our amazing friends in NATO. We have been holding onto this upgrade for a quite a while now, to Smitty's misery (sorry not sorry) and a lesser extent, my own. With that said, it is my pleasure to announce the following treaty upgrade. Septentrio Autem Quod Murus PREAMBLE All parties involved in this treaty are to remain sovereign and shall not be governed by the other party. They shall remain separate unless stated in another treaty. This treaty acts to bind the North Atlantic Treaty Organization and the Freehold of the Wolves in a state of mutual defense, recognizing our alliance's friendship and commitment to one another. The parties involved will henceforth be referred to as NATO and FTW. Article 0: IT’S ALL FIRINGLINE’S FAULT NATO and FTW agree that FiringLine is always at fault. They also agree that while not much better, Velocity is decidedly better than FiringLine. ARTICLE 0 #2: HOUSE BANNERS NATO and FTW acknowledge each other’s sovereignty. Both signatories agree to aid in the protection of said sovereignty and freedom as an alliance. ARTICLE 1: IT’S CALLED “MAKING PEACE” NATO and FTW agree not to attack, or commit actions of espionage on the other signatory. Such actions are regarded as a breach of this treaty. A breach of this treaty will be seen as revocation of said treaty. ARTICLE 2: A THREE-EYED RAVEN NATO and FTW agree to share all relevant information of worth. It is agreed that this information shall not be falsified, or changed in any way, to mislead the other sihnatory. Such falsifications shall be regarded as a breach of the treaty. ARTICLE 3: CALLING THE BANNERS Any declaration of war upon either NATO or FTW is considered an act of aggression on both. Both NATO and FTW agree that should the other come under attack, it is mandatory that all available aid, be it military, financial or diplomatic, will be made available should it be requested. Each signatory also has the option of joining a war declared by the other signatory. ARTICLE 4: MASTERS OF COIN NATO and FTW agree that they will endeavor to contribute financial aid to the other party. Such aid must be within the limits of reality, and not without reason. Such requests for financial aid shall be placed in the other signatory's embassy and the leader shall have to acknowledge the aid request. An acceptable reason must be stated, or the requested aid may not be given. Aid requests may be rejected at the discretion of the other signatory with justified reasoning. Any aid requests made under false pretense shall be viewed as a breach of this treaty. ARTICLE 5: PARTING WAYS To cancel this treaty any time, the leader of the canceling party must inform the other signatory's leader. Following the notice of cancellation, a 96 hour grace period shall begin, during which neither party may breach any article of the above treaty. Signatories: Freehold of the Wolves: King - Dark Lord Sauron, The All-Seeing Monarch Hand of The King - Pjk11, the sentient Taco Regent - Velocity, only in charge sometimes, probably Council of Lords Lord of State - Velocity, like FL but slightly improved Lord of War - CodArk2, Autocorrect Expect Lord of Economic Affairs - Bowlzahoy, who is definitely not our second robot Lord of Internal Affairs - Smitty, Alliance Archivist, Master Wiki Editor, Lord of GIFs, and Master of Annoyance North Atlantic Treaty Organization: Devo, The Stat Lord - Triumvar Warden, The Treaty Flexer - Triumvar SteelersFan, The Steelers Fan - Triumvar LennyNKarl - Chief Justice, Royal King of NATO There are many who would argue that being old is not so gold. Having talked extensively to those that take pride in being the Old Guard, I think I am officially qualified to say that being old is great! Within CN there are very few alliances I have talked to that I would say are on par in terms of cool with our new friends in the Old Guard. The irony of me being the one to post this is not lost, I hope. In the spirit of older things, I used a pixelated FTW flag and an older, lower quality OG flag, all upsized. Old Is Gold Again Preamble The Old Guard and the Freehold of The Wolves, henceforth referred to as OG and FTW respectively (or "the signatories"), wish to confirm their new and enduring friendship and shared commitment to each other, and make sure that being Old stays Cool. Article I – Sovereignty The signatories and their respective member nations recognize and respect each other's sovereignty and political independence. The government of both signatories will do their best to aid in the protection of each other’s sovereignty and freedom as an alliance. Article II – No Canes To Be Swung FTW and OG will refrain from espionage and the threat or use of force against each other and will settle all disputes between them by peaceful diplomatic means. Both signatories and their members shall act politely and in a friendly manner to each other at all times, and especially will refrain from using their canes as weapons. Article III – I’ll Let You Know If Kids Trespass In signing this agreement, both signatory alliances recognize that communication and intelligence is the foundation of a strong and enduring relationship. Both signatory alliances agree to productive inter-alliance communication and the sharing of intelligence. Article IV – Mutually Defended Lawns This Provision hereby dictates that if either of the signatories find themselves directly attacked by a foreign aggressor, or their lawn being trespassed, the other signatory is, upon request, required to join the war against the foreign aggressor within a reasonable time. The attacked signatory of this agreement has the right to waive such assistance if they feel it is not necessary. If one of the signatories goes to war because of other treaty obligations, they may request military or financial aid from the other signatory, who is encouraged but not obligated to provide that assistance. Article V – Throwing Shoes While recognizing each other's independence, this article allows either signatory of this treaty to request the aid of the other in their offensive wars in the form of coming in to fight with their shoes flying. If a request for aid is received the signatory that received it is encouraged but not required to join the war. Article VI – Termination If either signatory wishes to terminate this treaty, they must privately inform the government of the other signatory at least one week in advance. Signatories: Old Guard: Arminius Triumvir Freehold of the Wolves: King - Dark Lord Sauron, The All-Seeing Monarch Hand of The King - Pjk11, the sentient Taco Regent - Velocity, only in charge sometimes, probably Council of Lords Lord of State - Velocity, like FL but slightly improved Lord of War - CodArk2, Autocorrect Expect Lord of Economic Affairs - Bowlzahoy, who is definitely not our second robot Lord of Internal Affairs - Smitty, Alliance Archivist, Master Wiki Editor, Lord of GIFs, and Master of Annoyance As I said at the start, Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays (or both)! Now go on, scram! Get back to your parties or whatever else you have going on.
  4. The North of the Wall Accords Freehold of the Wolves, House of the Wolves, and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, House of the Atlantic, do hereby pledge themselves together in the bonds of kinship; and wish to make known our friendship. Article 1: The Calling of the Banners As newly allied Houses, both parties are encouraged, but not obligated to assist each other should the other find itself under siege by another house. Article 2: A Red Wedding Should either House attack another house for reasons outside of defense, the other party has the option of joining the war, but is in no way obligated to do so. Article 3: A Three-Eyed Raven Communication between parties is vital, and both Houses will agree to share intelligence that affects the safety of the other. Article 4: Masters of Coin Houses that work together prosper together and as such both houses commit to assisting one another in any economic efforts possible. Article 5: A Parting of Ways Should either House decide to cancel this accord; a 72 hour private notice will be given. Signatures for FTW: Canik, The Mad King Taco, The Taco (and Hand of the King) Dark Lord Sauron, All-Seeing Eye & Regent Velocity, Lord of State and Canik’s Favorite Person to Insult CodArk2, Lord of War Lord Draculea, Lord of Economic Affairs and Human Robot Smitty256, Lord of Internal Affairs and the man With Too Many Titles Signatures for NATO: Dev0win - Triumvar / Warden of the North Atlantic LennyNKarl - Triumvar / King of the NATO Royal Guard SteelersFan - Triumvar / Lord of our Futures Warden - Secretary of Foreign Affairs / Warden of Worldly Affairs
  5. In accordance with growing relations between CCC and NATO the Holy Atlantic Accords are hereby being upgraded to reflect a desire to fully defend one another in the event of outside aggression. The upgraded agreement will henceforth be known as The Holy Atlantic Accords 2.0. Cheers to our brothers and sisters in CCC. Thank you for your fellowship! The Holy Atlantic Accords 2.0 Preamble The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (hereby referred to as NATO) and the Christian Coalition of Countries (hereby referred to as CCC) have quickly formed a friendly relationship recently. It is by the welcomed coming together of these two fine groups that we do hereby present the following treaty in the spirit of friendship and mutual understanding. Article I: Sovereignty Both of the signatory alliances and their respective member nations recognize and will respect each other's sovereignty and political independence. The government of each alliance will do their utmost to aid in the protection of each other’s individual sovereignty and freedom as an alliance. Article II: Intelligence In signing these protocols, both signatory alliances recognize that communication and intelligence is the foundation for a strong and enduring relationship, and that there is mutual benefit for both alliances when open communication and intelligence between them is maintained. Additionally, in the instance where either signatory comes into possession of any information pertaining to the safety or stability of the other, it will be shared promptly. Article III: Economy While not mandatory, the signatories do hereby declare their wholehearted intentions to assist one another in the growth of the other’s economies, including, but not limited to, economic, technological, and military assistance. Article IV: Defense If one signatory finds themselves to be the target of any outside aggression, the other signatory is required to come to their defense upon request. The attacked signatory of this agreement maintains the right to waive such assistance. Article V: Aggression In the event that one of the signatories enters into a war for a reason other than its own defense, it may request the aid of the other signatory. If a request is received, the requested alliance is encouraged, but not required, to provide the requested aid. Article VI: Cancellation Either signatory alliance may terminate this compact at any time by providing the other signatory alliance with a 48 hour notice of intent to terminate. Signatories Signatories NATO Council: Devo; Dominator of Dominions, Doer of Deeds, Duke of Duties, Earl of Epiphanies, Knight of the Golden Order of Nothing SteelersFan; Fan of Steelers, Steeler of Fans, Emperor of Swing, Ender of Demons, Sultan of Lead Slinging LennyNKarl; Bosom of Hot Love, First of the Line of Lenny, Last of the Line of Karl, NATO King, Prince of Pieces, Thunderbolt of Freedom NATO Secretary of Foreign Affairs: Warden of the Outer Reaches, Herder of Llamas, Practitioner of the Darkest Magics (I’ve made too many jokes about this not to claim it), Lord of Zombies CCC High Council: lilweirdward; Chancellor, Snail Wrangler, Brewers Muter, Canik's Puppet, Grub Retirement Home Co-founder, Always Right (according to Finster), and Extremely Against TRUTH Speaking Individuals A1ph40m3ga; His Grand Majesty, God-Emperor, Lord Protector of the CCC, First and Last of His Name, Beginning and the End, Keeper of Paradisia, Paragon of the Old Ways, Imperator of Justice, and Patriarch of Truth Swagjuice; Immortal Emperor of the CCC
  6. Preamble The members of Elite SPERG Commandos, to be referred to as ESC, and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, to be referred to as NATO, hereby announce a new pact based on the spirit of friendship. This pact is designed to promote safety, growth and instill a deep-rooted feeling of trust between these great alliances. Article 1: Defensive Agreement NATO hereby recognizes ESC as a protectorate and will monitor all military actions by and against them. 1.1: Attacks made against ESC will be tried as if it were attacks against NATO and dealt swiftly and with dignity. 1.2: Attacks made by ESC against 3rd parties will be monitored to make sure treaties are followed. Article 2: War Should either alliance be declared war upon it will be considered a war against both alliances and full support will be administered without hesitation nor fail. 2.1: If ESC is declared upon and assistance is requested NATO will provide full support. 2.2: If NATO is attacked and assistance is requested ESC will provide full support. Article 3: Fiscal Arrangement NATO and ESC will cooperate economically to promote nation growth and prosperity. 3.1: NATO recognizes ESC as a sovereign alliance and allows them to deal tech and arrange their trades freely. Our reason for treaty is not to own and harvest from ESC but to help them grow, be the trades with or without us. We believe this mutual respect will create an atmosphere that will encourage members of both alliances to deal willingly with each other and limit the number of boundaries that are to be crossed in the nation building process. This great friendship will be the greatest benefit. 3.2: Members of both alliances may seek aid, if authorized, from either alliance so help promote nation growth and prosperity. Article 4: Politics ESC and NATO will, as all good friends do, meet first and discuss any important political matters before taking any significant actions unless it is imperative for the alliances' well-being to do so. 4.1: Any war declarations or treaty cancellations will be discussed between the alliances in an honest and respectful manner. 4.2: Military treaties made by ESC will be first discussed with NATO in order to sort out any issues either alliances have. Article 5: Friendship This partnership is aimed at sharing knowledge and resources to help one another grow. 5.1: Both alliances will respect each other's nations and their boundaries. Any conflicts, should any arise, will be resolved completely and discreetly 5.2: Both alliances will report any actions they are alerted to that may affect the other in a harmful manner. 5.3: Both alliances will continue to work together in a manner of mutual respect and maintain the goals set forth by the signers of this pact. Article 6: Cancellation If love is not love do not force it. 6.1: Should at any time leaders of either alliance find this pact no longer necessary or beneficial to their alliance they may terminate after 7 days time with confirmed notice. Signatures for NATO NATO Council Devo SteelersFan Lenny N Karl NATO SoFA Warden Signatures for ESC Elite Sperg - Chernothewise Second in Command - Bread Foreign Affairs Minister - AidanTheFed
  7. The Holy Atlantic Accords Preamble The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (hereby referred to as NATO) and the Christian Coalition of Countries (hereby referred to as CCC) have quickly formed a friendly relationship recently. It is by the welcomed coming together of these two fine groups that we do hereby present the following treaty in the spirit of friendship and mutual understanding. Article I: Sovereignty Both of the signatory alliances and their respective member nations recognize and will respect each other's sovereignty and political independence. The government of each alliance will do their utmost to aid in the protection of each other’s individual sovereignty and freedom as an alliance. Article II: Intelligence In signing these protocols, both signatory alliances recognize that communication and intelligence is the foundation for a strong and enduring relationship, and that there is mutual benefit for both alliances when open communication and intelligence between them is maintained. Additionally, in the instance where either signatory comes into possession of any information pertaining to the safety or stability of the other, it will be shared promptly. Article III: Economy While not mandatory, the signatories do hereby declare their wholehearted intentions to assist one another in the growth of the other’s economies, including, but not limited to, economic, technological, and military assistance. Article IV: Defense If one signatory finds themselves to be the target of any outside aggression, the other signatory is strongly encouraged, but not obligated, to come to their defense upon request. The attacked signatory of this agreement maintains the right to waive such assistance. Article V: Aggression In the event that one of the signatories enters into a war for a reason other than its own defense, it may request the aid of the other signatory. If a request is received, the requested alliance is encouraged, but not required, to provide the requested aid. Article VI: Cancellation Either signatory alliance may terminate this compact at any time by providing the other signatory alliance with a 48 hour notice of intent to terminate. Signatories NATO Council: Devo; Dominator of Dominions, Doer of Deeds, Duke of Duties, Earl of Epiphanies, Knight of the Golden Order of Nothing SteelersFan; Fan of Steelers, Steeler of Fans, Emperor of Swing, Ender of Demons, Sultan of Lead Slinging LennyNKarl; Bosom of Hot Love, First of the Line of Lenny, Last of the Line of Karl, NATO King, Prince of Pieces, Thunderbolt of Freedom NATO Secretary of Foreign Affairs: Warden of the Outer Reaches, Herder of Llamas, Practitioner of the Darkest Magics (I’ve made too many jokes about this not to claim it), Lord of Zombies CCC High Council: lilweirdward; Chancellor, Snail Wrangler, Brewers Muter, Canik's Puppet, Grub Retirement Home Co-founder, Always Right (according to Finster), and Extremely Against TRUTH Speaking Individuals A1ph40m3ga; His Grand Majesty, God-Emperor, Lord Protector of the CCC, First and Last of His Name, Beginning and the End, Keeper of Paradisia, Paragon of the Old Ways, Imperator of Justice, and Patriarch of Truth Swagjuice; Immortal Emperor of the CCC
  8. A special announcement from... Dun, Dun nuh nuh nuh nuh Dun... [Tsyaka] How could the bastard, old-timer, retired misfit Go on and on, drift and just become a crazy hermit? How could we watch this obnoxious, arrogant, loudmouth bother Remain inactive while the alliance starts to falter? Lenny calls on the vets to return to the fight But Anu just wants to sleep, not smite Now Anu's skill with a quill was undeniable But what weapons do we have left now? We’re still reliable with the... [All Men] Treaties! [Tsyaka] There are so many to employ [All Men] Chaining! [Tsyaka] Plenty of justifications to destroy [All Men] Ladies! [Tsyaka] They delighted and distracted him But there were only like three of us and nobody was after him [Anu] That’s true! [Full Company] 2017 [Tsyaka] A winter’s war And this one last fight may be the end of it all Yo, if we can chain in on a defense pact, we're rich, son [Anu] Is it a question of if, girl, or which one? [Anu/Tsyaka/Lenny] Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey <sees Non Grata> Hey (͡°͜ʖ ͡° ) Hey (͡°͜ʖ ͡° ) NATO hereby declares war on Invicta in defense of Non Grata (nothing but love for Haflinger though) //just like my country, I'm old, angry and hungry// https://youtu.be/ksff5uvSViU
  9. You never close your eyes anymoreWhen I kiss your lipsAnd there's no tenderness like beforeIn your fingertipsYou're trying hard not to show it (baby)But baby, baby I know it You've lost that lovin' feelin'Woah, that lovin' feelin'You've lost that lovin' feelin'Now it's gone, gone, gone woah Now there's no welcome look in your eyesWhen I reach for youAnd you've started to criticizeAll the little things I doIt makes me feel like cryingCause baby' something beautiful's dying You've lost that lovin' feelin'Woah, that lovin' feelin'You've lost that lovin' feelin'Now it's gone, gone, gone, woah
  10. The IRON Curtain Preamble The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) and the Independent Republic of Orange Nations (IRON) hereby establish a buffer between themselves and the Soviet Union. Article I: Non-Aggression and Security NATO and IRON hereby pledge to refrain from taking up arms against one another. Both signatories will refrain from the use of espionage against the other. Should either signatory come into possession of information regarding the infringement of the other’s security by the Soviets, they are required to promptly share with the other. Article II: Checkpoint Charlie NATO and IRON have established defenses along our shared borders with the Soviet Union. Should the Soviets approach either of our borders with hostility, the other will respond in kind. Should either NATO or IRON come under attack as the result of venturing through Checkpoint Charlie of their own volition, the other signatory is encouraged but not required to respond. Article III: Aggression If either signatory believes it prudent to move against the East aggressively, turning the Cold War into a full fledged conflict, the other signatory may take up arms and join them if they believe it to be in their best interests. Article IV: Tear Down This Wall Should Mr. Gorbachev decide to tear down the wall "separating" the East from the West, the signatories will celebrate the end of this era with a drink, shake hands, and decide that the Curtain is no longer needed. This discussion will take place in private. Signed for the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, Tsayka, Secretary General Da DreadLord, Secretary of Foreign Affairs asapilu, Secretary of Defense Lonabis, Secretary of Enlistment Signed for the Independent Republic of Orange Nations, The Warrior, President, IRON Councilor Rhizoctonia, Secretary of State, IRON Councilor Blade 619, Minister of Defense, IRON Councilor Hertt, Minister of Internal Affairs, IRON Councilor Mandarijn, Minister of the Vault, IRON Councilor
  11. Blue Tentacled Bears From Beyond Article I: Of the Elder Gods and the Unmentionable Stygian Creatures That Lurk. Tsayka. Da Dreadlord. Elder Gods from a forgotten time, part of a collective known as NATO. Only briefly mentioned in an ancient and accursed manuscript. Names that mankind dare not evoke out of fear that their retribution will be swift and ghastly. Their names are not even spoken by the most arcane. Van Hoo III. Shurukian. Gibsonator21. Leaders of a cult of omnivorous daemonaic beings disguised as Earthly creatures of the Ursidae family. Shunned by the civilized world for their indescribable and unthinkable acts of violence, they were often worshiped as deities by long forgotten cultures and lesser imps. A pact was written in the blood of nameless and loathsome beings and added to the Book of Azathoth. Cooperate these vile and feared pantheons of old had decided. Do not presume though that groups of this level of depravity do not also value their own sovereignty. Article II: Like Minded Deities See Great Value in the Whisperings of Mortals and Others Elder Gods and daemonic beings deal in information, blasphemous or otherwise. From their dark thrones and dank charnel houses, they collect and share such things. This is beyond the comprehension of mere mortal men, but understood with ease by those of the eldritch variety. Lesser beings would delve into madness and despair should they dare gaze upon the tomes and unutterable words within. These manuscripts are best left to the eyes and ears of the two who invoke the aforementioned blood pact. It was meticulously written by them and the immense and hideous undertaking was for them and them alone. Article III: Reptilian Claws. Swarthy Robes of Unknown Origin. Tentacles From the Abyss There will be those who dare lash out at the members of this pact. As unthinkable as it may seem to dare to topple beings of such immeasurable and incomprehensible power, one would be foolish to underestimate the audacity that fear and dread creates. Should an aggressor choose a single party from this pact, assistance by the other would not be shunned and would in fact be encouraged. Deities and other like-minded creatures from the beyond are the calculating sort though and should the non-aggrieved party decline to assist it would not be viewed as immoral, blasphemous, abnormal, or even faintly cruel. No, such a decision would be understood as per the scribblings of the Book of Azathoth itself. Article IV: Glub, Glub ... Glub, Glub Despite being immortal in nature, the two members of this pact understand that there is no such thing as forever. Indeed, all pacts (blood or otherwise) have a starting and ending point. While a falling out between two of such omnipotence would baffle simpler minds, the beings involved will make every attempt to make amends. Should no compromise be reached, a parting of ways shall commence. Some will lurk, hoping to use this opportunity to do the unthinkable -- to swoop in and end one party in an insane gambit for dark power. Know this: 72 hours must pass before that which is not dead can eternal lie, and indeed with strange aeons even death may die. Tremble before us, NATO Tsayka, Secretary General Da DreadLord, Secretary of Foreign Affairs Lenny N Karl, Two-headed Serpent of Madness The Bear Cavalry Van HooIII, Crowley Shurukian, Lillith Gibsonator21, Azazel
  12. NATO - Doom Kingdom ODoAP NATO and Doom Kingdom, the signatories, agree to the following clauses in the spirit of cooperation. The signatories uphold and respect the sovereignty and welfare of each other. They will share information pertinent to the security of either. Should a signatory come under or launch an attack, the other reserves the right to join hostilities in support. This agreement can be cancelled with 72 hours notice. /s/ For Doom Kingdom Hapapants, Doomfather Gh0s7, Doomanager WhiteChocolate, Doombassador Xavier Renegade Angel, Doomarshall Banned, Doomerchant Stonewall, Harbinger of Doom Addaff, Doom Councilor High Chancellor Liq, Doom Councilor Supreme Emperor Daeg, Doom Councilor Caliph, Doom Councilor Mitch, Doom Councilor For NATO Tsayka, Secretary General asapilu, Secretary of Defense SteelersFan, Secretary of Enlistment Landon Esser, Secretary of Commerce Oldself, Secretary of Foreign Affairs Tommyknocker2121, Chief Justice
  13. From: 905@ultrafark****.org Sent: ‎Saturday‎, ‎August‎ ‎16‎, ‎2014 ‎1‎:‎19‎ ‎PM To: Tom@ultrafark****.org Thanks, Tom, for your insightful input. I'll definitely keep the Farkistan/NATO clauses that I bolded in the final treaty though and you can go on a one-way, all expenses-paid trip to the place where the fella with the pointed stick and horns conducts his daily affairs! Regards, -905 Head Programmer/Submitter/Cheese Aficionado ----------------------- From: Tom@ultrafark****.org Sent: ‎Saturday‎, ‎August‎ ‎16‎, ‎2014 ‎1‎:‎19‎ ‎PM To: 905@ultrafark****.org To the Idiot 905, Master of Complete Stupidity: You appear to be advocating a new functional, stack-based, "multi-paradigm", eager, statically-typed, impure, non-hygienic, visual, beginner-friendly and completely incomprehensible treaty programming language. Your treaty language will not work. Here is why it will not work. You appear to believe that that syntax is what makes treaty programming difficult, that garbage collection is free, that nobody really needs I/O, that scaling up to large software projects will be easy, that convincing programmers to adopt a language-specific IDE will be easy, that programmers love writing lots of boilerplate, that specifying behaviors as "undefined" means that programmers won't rely on them and that "Spooky action at a distance" makes programming more fun. Unfortunately, your language has comprehensible syntax, lacks semicolons, has macros, lacks type inference, has goto, has coroutines, has operator overloading, lacks algebraic datatypes, lacks polymorphic types, lacks monads, lacks nested comments, has call-by-reference and has call-cc. The following philosophical objections apply: * Farkistan and NATO agree to share info, intel and aid with each other. * Farkistan and NATO agree to not shoot at each other, but in case an accidental mishap occurs, both parties agree to resolve the incident peacefully as quickly as possible via fair reps (150% of damages) and an exchange of an appropriate amount of bacon, beer and drink recipes. * Interpreted languages will never be as fast as C * Compiled languages will never be "extensible" * Should either Farkistan or NATO get attacked, the other is welcome and encouraged to defend should they choose to. * Should either Farkistan or NATO decide to start some mischief by attacking another AA, the other is also welcome to join in the fun if they so choose. * At no time is either Farkistan or NATO forced to chain in on this treaty, but they are certainly welcome to join the other in battle should they both choose to. * There are less than 100 programmers on Bob smart enough to use your treaty language. Your implementation has the following flaws: * CPUs do not work that way * RAM does not work that way * VMs do not work that way * Should Farkistan or NATO decide to dissolve this treaty, a 72-hour notification period is required. * You require the compiler to be present at runtime * You require the language runtime to be present at compile-time * Your compiler errors are completely inscrutable * Dangerous behavior is only a warning * You don't seem to understand basic optimization techniques * You don't seem to understand basic systems programming * You don't seem to understand pointers * You don't seem to understand functions. Additionally, your marketing has the following problems: * Obviously rigged benchmarks Graphics, simulation, or crypto benchmarks where your code just calls handwritten assembly through your FFI and String-processing benchmarks where you just call PCRE * Noone really believes that your language is faster than assembly, C nor FORTRAN * Rejection of basic computer science without justification. Taking the wider ecosystem into account, I would like to note that we already have a safe statically-typed eager functional language, you have reinvented Java but worse, you have reinvented PHP but worse and you have reinvented Brainfark but non-ironically. In conclusion, I think you have some interesting ideas, but this won't fly and this is a bad language, and you should feel bad for inventing it. DIAF, moran -Tom ***** Farkistan Treaty Programmer, III --- Signed for Farkistan: 905 - Submitter Mr Vicarious - Squirrel Rollo Gigante - Speaker of theTotalfark Council One_Eighty_Two - Totalfark Council Slick Johnson - Totalfark Council CountryMouse - Totalfark Council Decide R Inchief - Totalfark Council Signed for NATO: Tsayka, Secretary General Berbers, Secretary of Foreign Affairs Jekalle, Secretary of Defense Landon Esser, Secretary of Commerce Lonabis, Secretary of Enlistment Tallon, Chief Justice
  14. So, Fark and NATO have been hanging out quite a bit lately, and with all the beer drinking, mountain dew consumption, and Cheeto munching, we bonded over our love of mid 90's trading card games. While about 6 beers deep, we in Fark realized that like all pop culture, these trading card games have a deep and troubled history of misogyny, sexism, and a clear gender bias. While some of us just didn't understand the problem with being "sexy", as a whole we decided this just can't stand. We've taken matters into our own hands, and we present you with our solution: For Fark: 905, Submitter Mr Vicarious, Squirrel Rollo, Speaker of the TF Council 182, TF Council Slick Johnson, TF Council CountryMouse, TF Council Decide R Inchief, TF Council For WAG: NCC (Blood God) AntiFa (CHIEF LEGBEARD)
  15. After refusing to work, participarpting in rally and sleeping for 12 hours, I am here on behalf of Die Linke to wish all the denizens of Bob the day we leftists savour the most - International Workers' Day. It has been over a century since the historic workers' strike in Chicago that flagged off this legacy of celebrating the right to protest and reliving the struggles down the ages of the revolutionary proletariat against ruling-class atrocities. Also, May 1 happens to be the day when Libertarian Socialist Federation was founded by Comrade Haraldur in the year 2006. It has been Eight eventful years from that milestone! We in the elesef have seen many ups and downs, have had made a few great friends and sadly had to part ways with some. We would to thank to our allies in Die linke, MCXA, NATO, Shangri-la, our really close friends in Atlas, NSO, our ex ally and the 'other left'- The International for making our eight years a fun drive. We would also like to recognize the contribution of our historic rival- NoR in making our journey most amusing. But obviously May Day is not just 'our day'. We invite all comrades to join us in this celebration. Workers' of the world Unite!!!!
  16. Welcome to this historic announcement! I'm honored to be selected to announce the best kept secret in CN to all of you, never before has a secret been so well kept on all of planet Bob. But just because we felt like spreading the joy, we have decided to release this secret and make it known to the world. So without anymore delays, I present to you all! [center][/center] (inb4: I knew about this hours/days/weeks/months/years ago)
  17. [img]http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab120/SnowyRose_photo/Day1_zpsec739cd5.png[/img] [size=2][url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?app=blog&module=display&section=blog&blogid=784"]War web[/url] and pic courtesy of Roxas' blog.[/size] First off congrats to what's being called The Equilibrium Coalition in their excellent DOW and superb choice of targets. Now down to business, where will the war go from here? Tell me how you think the war will evolve and why. The first step is easy as I fully expect the rest of Doomhouse to immediately counter. There's also a strong possibility, I think, that they could be joined rather quickly by ODN and possibly the rest of C&G as well. Round 2 could be verrrry interesting considering the treaty positions of some key players. One of the alliances I'm most interested in is Non Grata as they seem positioned squarely in the middle of the main antagonists. Another is TOP, and I'm leaning on an early entry from them considering their recent troubles with IRON. On the bloc level, Aftermath has some hard decisions to make when this war gets to their neck of the Treaty Web. It's been a long time since I've had my ear to the ground here on Planet Bob so let me know what you think. In any case it looks like it's going to be a great and fun war season.
  18. [center][img]http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx251/The_Britishdude/KoHflag1-1-1.jpg?t=1349479099[/img][/center] [center][i]Official flag of officialness[/i][/center] [center]After a respectable relationship with the good people at NATO, our alliances in cooperation have reached a fork in the road in our current bond. As such as much as it pains me to say we have both decided to end the current treaty held between our alliances. Though this is an end of a chapter it is not necessarily the end of a book, but like all things, this too shall pass. [b]The Kingdom of Hyrule-NATO protectorate treaty is officially cancelled. [/b][/center] [center]o/ [b]KoH[/b][/center] [center]o/ [b]NATO[/b][/center] [center]o/ [b]NADC[/b][/center] [center][i][spoiler](why are you reading this? There is a war!)[/spoiler][/i][/center]
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