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The funniest thing about this war

Posted by Enamel32 , 12 March 2013 · 2,120 views

#war #dahurp
So the war's in full swing. Only a couple surrenders so far. Both coalitions are trying to propagandize their way to victory.

I'd like to take a step back a minute and break down what DH/Umbrella, is saying out there. They're trying to make the case that they've won in the upper tier. And hands down, I think Umbrella will have an upper tier victory if this war lasts only a short duration, but regardless of the war's duration, what about CnG? What about VE? They don't have Upper tiers like Umbrella. Competence may get an upper tier victory, but what does that mean for the nations that make up the majority of their coalition?

It doesn't take very long to stumble on a post like Cuba's, where he says Umbrella is basically saving themselves at the expense of their coalition.

Went ahead and tallied up my wars (had to interpolate a bit since a few were deleted/not registered) and I've done a collective 425k NS damage to my opponents.  That's more than certain entire AA's out there.  Just because I finished my task before the "shark tank (lol)" could kill my AA-mates doesn't mean I've not done some heavy lifting. Quite the contrary sir, we've actually statistically eliminated the entire enemy super tier, and most of its remaining upper tier, thereby securing our own security for the next, I dunno, 3 years?

So, Umbrella super tier is going to sit around and do nothing, while CnG/VE and friends get smashed into oblivion. For three years he says!

A little bit later, we find another doosey

This war won't last forever, nobody wants that.  But we still have some fight left in us, and we are making this war as painful for you as possible.    We may lose, but in the meantime we are decimating your upper tiers. Like I said, we can rebuild our lower and middle tiers a lot easier than you can rebuild your upper tiers.

Translation: Don't worry CnG, that 650,000 tech lost is easily replaceable. There's plenty of tech sellers out there. (right?) Heck Look at Umb, we have no trouble getting tech. And besides, we'll aid you a billion dongs, after we first aid Goons a billion dongs of course, and the world will be at peace once again. -_-

Let's get one thing straight, CnG. Umbrella does not give a damn about you. These two posts alone imply that, and there's many signals beyond that. These posts implicitly concede CnG is getting stomped, but that's ok because Umbrella isn't getting stomped, and even though CnG may be permanently mangled, Umbrella will be able to 'forever bask in super nation glory'. CnG being the selfless bloc that they are, that's all that matters, right? Right?

ODN/INT, You guys are going to learn a hard lesson that it took sparta far too long to learn. I know you're excited. Umb probably gave you a special forum mask. They probably talk to you everyday on IRC. And dat avgNS. Who could
forget that avgNS. What else could you want in such a great ally?
The truth is Umb is !@#$@#$ you in the ass. Once they're done using you and you decide to call them on it, they're going to try and make you feel better with future promises, monetary aid or both. First, Let me be clear, It's not realistic to send you enough monetary aid to anywhere near cover your political and pixel damages. Umbrella has this mindset, where if you have an avgns less than them, they'll send you a few million dongs and somehow you'll magically be "strong" once again. CnG, You're not goons. No amount of money is going to cover your losses. They're making an offer no idiot will accept, so they can say that they tried to help you in the future if you complain. Despite the fact that they know the offer is garbage, and have no real intention of making good on the offer anyway.  I've heard relationships with Umbrella be described as abusive, and that really is a perfect word to describe it. Unfortunately, I think it's something you have to really experience to fully understand, but hey, I'm doing my best to tip you off early.  Second of all, they're not going to keep their future promises. They're going to do what's best for them, at. all. times. I could pull up posts of JA and crew blatantly saying history doesn't matter and instances of them going against their word to save their own skin, but I won't drag up old news.

If you think I'm !@#$%^&*ting you, ask MHA, Ask Alpha Omega, ask any of Umbrella's former allies. After Roq left, Umbrella has completely lost perspective on the world. They only think about themselves, and Umbrella posts show that they haven't changed a single bit. They're going to throw your whole bloc under the bus, so they can "buy themselves 3 more years on top". Use your head and read into what they are saying. Actions speak louder than words, and right now their actions are saying they have every intention to do you no service.

G.I. Joe sums up my recommendations to CnG/VE pretty well:

For $%&@s sake you idiots. Get the $%&@ out, the house is on fire.

tl;dr The funniest part of this war, is that if CnG/VE don't pull their head out of their butt, they may find themselves amongst the ranks of Invicta and Legion, when they were joined at the hip with '09 NPO.

Good night and good luck all


how could I forget! tl;dr added

Melancholy Culkin
Mar 12 2013 08:17 AM

I feel like if you tried this one in a standup routine it wouldn't be that great.

Unfortunate, I must not appeal to your audience. XX, SF, and Co. are collectively laughing their butts off right now.

This is so true

Holy Empire of Halin
Mar 12 2013 10:13 AM

I didnt know you were that obsessed Pearl

Tl;dr: Sparta butthurt

Sparta is telling others to be cowards and leave their friends. Nothing strange here.

Welcome boys! Good to see the damage control crew out in force.

Oh dear. XX should try to take C&G on their own before they get all mouthy. You had to bring along all your friends before you would even dare try, and it will come back to bite you.

Getting mouthy? Aint no war mongering here. I'm just stating what I learned from experience, and what I see on the forums. I'm afraid the truth hurts. Umb is treating their CnG allies much the same way they treated Sparta. If you want to call that mouthy, whatever floats your boat I guess.

Sweeeeet Ronny D
Mar 12 2013 02:11 PM

Its a shame you have no credibility, because this could have been a good read.

No amount of OWF propaganda is ever going to influence an alliance's leadership or their "Ministry of Truth" staff...


Let them learn from trial by fire.


If a 3rd degree burn isn't sufficient, then let them run into the fire again and get 4th degree burn. If they still don't learn, well, 5th degree burn?

I'm not sure I'd agree with that in it's entirety. I believe propaganda can influence membership, and governments are ultimately controlled by their membership. Consider, all the membership independently decides to leave an AA, the government has nothing to govern. Further for your consideration, as much as I hate MK, they were/are really good at propagandizing the masses for political gain. Maybe it's a trivial thing to focus on, but when I wish my writings to have lasting impact, I try to target my content for a membership audience for that exact reason. (Not sure if that's obvious or not.....Not sure if I'm doing a good job or not haha....Damage control; however, suggests yes yes yes!) But you are mostly correct, propaganda doesn't usually influence government directly.


As for the second comment,  quote from my favorite DoTA Character: We will reduce all to ashes :)

Mar 12 2013 03:46 PM

Now you realize what I've been saying all along.

Yankees Empire
Mar 12 2013 04:50 PM

I have seen the light! Sparta, please take us back!

Too bad your advice will fall in deaf ears. Maybe for the next war...

Sparta trying to act like they're actually threatening... this is hilarious. Leave the propaganda to someone else, you're not very good at it.

Griff, you got any suggestions of who should run the show?

We're destroying your upper tier = we don't care about our allies?  That's some rock solid logic there.  Send out aid?  How dare we?  That makes us monsters and worst allies ever!  


In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic.  (Had to put that there because you think that equating a few boastful statements by Cuba to our foreign policy is a solid argument.)

February 2016

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