My Personal Rules for Drinking
1. Drink because you want it, not because you need it.
2. Bent over a toilet isn't "fun", slow down before you get there, figure out what went wrong if you do, don't repeat.
3. Work hard, then play hard. Earn the booze.
4. Be cool. Violent, passed out, mouthy, and stupid aren't cool.
5. Never drink alone.
6. Courage and self confidence can't be stored in a bottle.
7. The state is the last entity that should set a minimum drinking age--any organization that will allow you to carry an automatic rifle for the purpose of killing people, drive a million dollar armored vehicle, legally own property, vote in elections, participate in triple penetration hard core porn movies as an "actor", be convicted as an adult of all crimes, and make a million other adult decisions because you are "mature enough to take on the responsibility" yet won't allow you to legally buy a light beer has a very weird sense of priorities, most misplaced. All that said, if you are underage, be discrete, don't over indulge and don't be the one that prohibitionists and other nanny staters point to as a reason for not lowering the drinking age.
8. No one likes to drink with a mooch. If you can't afford even to pick up the tab next time, switch to ice water.
9. Some people find it impossible to keep the above rules. They shouldn't drink.
10. Deliberately enticing or tricking someone into violating the above rules is evil. Don't be evil.
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