Excerpts from the Uralican Daily News, 7 November 2010

Entry posted by Uralica November 7, 2010

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Salomäki: "I Made An Ass Of Myself"

SYKTYVKAR - in a press conference today, Jarkko Salomäki publicly apologised for a snafu he made by appearing to take sides in the latest world conflict between the Sirius bloc and the AcTi alliance, as well as renaming the conflict article on the Robertian World News Network website, www.rwnn.org.bob, without an international consensus.

"Yeah, I made an ass of myself," Jarkko said. "Vaido [Kuik] and Ovdey [shlomov] both gave me hell for it, I headdesked about half a dozen times, then I decided to apologise, say the criticism was fair dinkum, and move on."

Vaido Kuik confirmed this statement.

"I saw what he'd done and that [RWNN executive] Locke had changed it back, and I thought to myself, 'Jarkko, you clown!' So I got in my car and drove across Syktyvkar to his place, knocked on his door, and as I open it, there's Ovdey walking out. So I ask him what he was doing there, and he said he decided to set Dweebko (sic) straight on showing even the slightest support for either side in this ridiculous war, and that he must have headdesked at least four times. So in I go, and Jarkko asks me, 'lemme guess, you didn't like that I wrote something that could be construed as showing support?' and I'm like, 'No, I just got whined at by Locke about you changing the name of a war without consensus.' Which of course was exaggerating, but he knows I do that. So he groaned loudly and headdesked yet again, whining that it just wasn't his day. Now here he is, apologising for it, not really out of compulsion. I think he felt pretty bad about the whole thing."

War Protest In Kirov

KIROV - a peaceful rally against the current war, which organiser Jarmo Eerikäinen said was not necessarily against one side or the other, started last night, not long after Jarkko Salomäki publicly apologised for a few diplomatic faux pas he had made.

The highlights of the rally included approved covers of three songs: Pelastus covered Fear Factory's "Hi-Tech Hate," Bane of the Machine (sans Salomäki, who was replaced by Jeff Laukkanen) and Mowdown teamed up to cover Genesis' ten-minute epic "Domino," and Digitoxicosis covered Front Line Assembly track "Millennium." Along with these, Pelastus cranked out their single "The HateKilla." Enemy's Enemy brought a Jewish angle to it with their single, "All Will Burn."

Sports

ZavU Stuns SiPS, CSKVC Puts One Nail In Three Coffins

On a wacky day in the Bolakliiga, SiPS' 34-game unbeaten streak was shattered by a late Fedor Poustovoitov goal as Zavod Ural Solikamsk won 2-1. Ruslan Zakharchuk scored the other goal for the winners, while league goal-scoring leader Joni Rasimus scored the lone goal for the losers.

"We wanted to win them all," said manager Teppo Kostamo, "but you know what? We realise we can't. We weren't playing our best, and they most certainly were. Don't blame it all on Jarkko [salomäki] being off doing political stuff. Our defence is deep enough that we should have been able to handle them, but our offence wasn't up to snuff other than Joni and Hessu [Öörni, the team's assist leader this season]. They won. We lost. Fair play. We'll have to regroup and do better next match. All there is to it."

Their next match, on the 13th, is against MetaFraks Gubakha.

There were several other "upsets" on the 6th. Most notable from a table point of view was 17th-place CSKVC Kirov's 2-1 win over 13th-place Metafraks Gubakha, which simultaneously doomed FK Syktyvkar, FK Kirov, and FK Kotlas to relegation. FK Inta stunned last year's 8th-place side, Spartak Ukhta, by the same, while FK Vorkuta surprised Transit Sosnogorsk 3-2 in a comedy of errors.